Welcome to the Sex Buffet. Population: Ladies.
While filming in Italy, Jersey Shore’s Deena somehow managed to hook up with a chick The Situation brought home for himself, so I think it’s safe to say these kids are carting home cadavers now. That’s the only explanation here. Via Us Magazine:
Unfortunately for 24-year-old Cortese, her housemates will never let her live it down. “We heard you were moaning all night,” The Situation, 29, teases in a sneak peek from Thursday’s episode.
“She didn’t lick down there,” Cortese says defensively. “She went to and then I decided I didn’t want to do that. Now I realize I was a little bi-curious, and I realized I do like boys.”
“I always said that if I was ever to be bi-curious it would be with a hot blonde,” Cortese says while sitting in confessional with costar Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, 23. “She was adorable.”
Here’s where I’m torn: While it’s hard to believe anyone of any gender wanted to tongue Deena’s slophole – I threw up, too, it’s okay. – I also don’t want to rob myself of the joy of knowing a woman preferred it over having sex with The Situation. Apparently you really can be that big of a douche that a chick will contemplate death by swampgina. The prophecy is true!
Photos: Getty
She banged some bitch named Pauly D.
FUCK JERSEY SLAGS!!!! WHY DO YOU KEEP POSTING STORIES ABOUT THESE STUPID WHORES?!?!?!? YOURE JUST PROLONGING THEIR UN-EXPLAINABLE CELEBRITY STATUS!!!!! FOR GODS SAKE MAN, KNOCK THAT SHIT OFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!
From the look on her face looks like that puss smelled a bit stanky.I am a 28 years old doctor, mature and beautiful.and now I am seeking a good man who can give me real love , so i got a username Lindasunny2002 on–a’ge’l'es’s'da’te.c óm–.it is the first and best club for y’ounger women and old’er men, or older women and y’ounger men,to int’eract with each other. Maybe you wanna ch’eck ‘it out or tell your friends!
not sure how this warrants a post.
Ugly men have sex with women all the time.
What does he want a medal?
So true, this Tranny actually fucked the other chick with the dick hidden between those hairy gross legs. Truly ugly, Buffalo Bill would be more attractive than this THING! “WOULD YOU FUCK ME?”
Lol @God is Black
haha, touche!
Thanks Kate! You sound hot. If I was still into hooking up with girls I would totlaly do you and brag about it on tv.
While I’m loathe to admit that I watched this episode, she didn’t actually bang the chick. She was in the process of getting her fartbox tonguepunched but then wussed out and sent the chick to Vinny’s bed instead.
This chick also claimed to be a virgin. What a wonderful first time experience for her!
Right, because virgins will tongue punch fartboxes.
The greatest lie the devil ever told was that a virgin wanted to tongue punch Hamzilla’s fartbox.
I have never heard such disgusting words to describe sexual relations. Thank you. You’re a poet and I think I love you.
It’s from Tosh.0: I’m going to tongue punch your mom in the fartbox then read a book.
there isn’t a single goddamn thing in this whole fucking world that is “from” Tosh.0.
I am relieved to hear Tosh could not have come up with this beautiful turn of phras it is to pure to be chat on by some inbred disease riddled ass monkey who secretly loves dick diving in fudge holes.
It’s hard to believe that this thing can get any uglier, but she will.
She looks like a fucking jack o lantern.
That’s a dude, it is supposed to have sex with chicks.
That’s Danny DeVito in drag.
Muaahahaha
I had a roomate who looked like this but was a red head with cystic acne who was the filthiest slob on the planet. She hid dirty plates under her furniture, you could never see her floor since it was covered in garbage adn clothes, she had a bag of cat poo the size of a small child in her room for months and when I went away for 2 months to escape the horror of living with her since I couldn’t find anyone to sublet the house the same garbage that was under the sink was still there when I got home.
She was a freakish nightmare, but she was funny like a female Jack Black and I had no idea what a lunatic she was until I lived with her. Anyway one night I had a party and my best friend who was as homophobic as they come ended up having sex with my freakshow roommate. Years later my ex best friend joined a homophobe weirdo cult and luckily a month after they bumped ugly tacos I found some stoner loosers to take over my part of the rent and I moved out and never looked back.
Ya I don’t know why I shared that, but the moral is don’t ever enter into a lease with a troll. Also don’t fuck one, you’d think I wouldn’t have to say that, but clealry some people need reminding.
thanks, will keep it in mind labor day wknd. or hope they’ve left the shore
They will NEVER leave. They multiply when they get wet and they’re always eating after midnight. I’m afraid this is the begining of the end.
omg, youre boring…
@boing Troll roomate is that you? How’ve you been? Do you still collect cat shit?
Worst. Story. Ever.
Next time make it more graphic on the sex, less on the nastiness.
The nastiness of the story had to match the nastiness of this girl fucker wombat creature. When fish posts some Mila Kunis I’ll tell stories of how I look like a taller bustier version of her and how much I love women.
@oldmen, alzheimer’s got you?
Nah I just like older men and not at all for money, I just like an experienced hand or two, a nice deep manly voice, and the swauve sophistication young men don’t have yet.
lmao
sounds like more faux tv lesbianism to garner up ratings. let us know when someone we’d actually fuck switch hits. and actually does. with video after the jump
Oh god, when she uncrosses her legs, I bet the sound (and smell) is that of bare ass rising from a vinyl seat after sitting in the sun for an hour.
Listen! The enforcer has every right to bang (whether blows to the head or any part of the body) anyone she deems up to no good. It’s a privilege only reserved to Batman and such. It’s a license to clean up the streets, you might say.
SO why is she still wearing the strap-on on her face?
lol– “vidi well little brother, vidi well..”
whoa whoa whoa…whoa! Let’s step back here….24? she’s 24 years old? seriously? 24? she’s been 24 for what? 10 years now?
Shes 24 years old while in Middle Earth. On regular Earth, shes 55.
24 in dog years.
I thought the exact same thing. She looks like shes popped out about 10 kids.
From the look on her face looks like that puss smelled a bit stanky.
This story fails in the details department. Mike tried to bring TWO girls home, one of which was hijacked by horseface here at the bar. Horseface thought she wanted to get it on with a girl but decided it was too much for her. The hijacked girl then went over and slept with Vinny.
Mike still got his with the other girl.
yeah why is this being posted about at all? especially since it happened it the episode a week ago. old “news”.
I just threw up a little in my mouth
I just ate a big pile of my own excrement (with butter on top for flavor). I know it sounds crazy, but it doesn’t give you the right to judge me. It fills me up and I think it’s good for the environment (recycling, and all).
That’s just plain disgusting. If you’re going to eat poo.. it should be someone else’s. We were poor when I was a kid and often had to eat poo. Tuesday was always “grandma night”. I remember it because it always tasted like prunes, which I hated.
It was Brooke Hogan, wasn’t it? Ten bucks says it’s Brooke Hogan. People in that family love to bone those who look most related to them.
The very thought of this is offensive to me .Deena is offensive to me . Jersey Shore is offensive to me . Why does anyone look so far down in the gutter for entertainment . I would rather watch maggots eat rotting corpses
Good thing I read the story. Otherwise I would have thought her slop hole was her mouth.
I’m getting genital warts just looking at her picture
If you were to be in a 1 meter proximity to her slophole , the kinds of things that would attach themselves to you would defy description from a medical dictionary
I’m injecting myself with penicillin right now as I can somehow feel vermin crawling on me from looking a t her photo. We should get her spayed and dropped off in Pakistan to rob the Pakistannis of their manhood , stat!
I’m imagining the smell that emanates form her “special places ‘ , and , no , it is not perfumy
Imagine the guys that have actually received warts and lesions from her after sexual congress
She is obese !
You mean Obeast
Anyone else think this beast is a manlier version of Brooke Hogan?
She looks like Tony Bennett. No way she’s 24. She’s got a whole lotta labia licking in her future.
Is this beast supposedly human ? I would check her feet for hoofs !
That’s a man baby! And an ugly fucking man at that.
Please publish the name of the bar that these cretins hang out at so I can avoid it like the absolute Plague , which is what I think Deena has emanating from her slophole
Mrs. Doubtfire in her better years.
Yes! Her face suffered from a drive by fruiting.
Before some freakish biological mutation brought on a typical binge by the mother’s on whiskey, marlboros, or just general Jersey douchebaggery, I guarantee that thing had a penis at some point while in the womb.
She is qualified to give blow jobs to blind guys
Even Stevie wonder would know and run in the opposite direction. That ugly is bone – deep!
She hideous ! Hideous ! Fuck you MTV!
Man , Not even for conjugal visit prison sex !
I’m afraid to click “View full size”.
Your screen isn’t nearly big enough.
WOW! I AM SHOCKED. The Jersey Shore girl will (pretend to) bang girls for attention.
Who woulda thunk it.
I am so tired of these clowns. Please MTV bring on the next freakshow.
She likes to say she is a “Blast in a Glass”….she….she knows those words don’t rhyme, right?
this is fucking disgusting. She already has grandma-face.
Maybe the chick thought those ripples on her leg were abs.
All that you need to know is that the room smelled of kippered herring and cheese…
This is fucking disgusting. Can’t she and “The Shit-uation” be prosecuted for raping a blind, psychotic, retarded minor or somethiing? There’s no way that girl had all oars in the water.
She looks like a cross between Danny DeVito and Junior Gorg
She should be made to give blow jobs to terrorists . That would teach them a lesson that they would never forget
Wow Artie Lange sure has let himself go.
She’s only 24?
no. way.
that “jwoww” looks just as haggard, oily and terrifying and is apparently the same age!
Anyone order cottage cheese on her thighs? Look at the other picks. LOL
It’s the murdering midget troll from Don’t Look Now. Man, I hated that movie.
Standard challenge – take some mushrooms or mescaline and stare at that face.
You’ll be screaming “Why, Why” as you attempt to yank your eyeballs out
Tootsie?
this is the mother’s instinct.
……..SHE SHOWS CONCERNS!!
so fucking repulsive… and it’s not just because she’s incredibly fat and ugly…
Her face reminds me of old comedy shows where the middle-aged host gentlemen will dress up in drag, and to hammer home how much of a lady he is, he’ll put on ridiculous amounts of make-up, but it still can’t hide his old man face.
Since when does a dude banging a chick make the news?
I read the post, then looked at the pics. re-read the post just to make sure I was not batshit, then looked at the pics. Then re-re-read the post. 24? I think that is a typo. Don’t they mean 44? If she really claims to be 24 I am going to have to see a Birth Certificate, kinda like the Obama doubters but I am a Deena Doubter.
These creatures are proof that there is no god!!!
Muahahaha.