You might say they jet-packed the shark. — I’ll go kill myself now.
Speaking of New Jersey being the pride of America, MTV has finally decided to pull the plug on Jersey Shore which is really the only acceptable response to one of these kids successfully reproducing that doesn’t involve a shotgun and an outhouse like in all those letters I wrote them. MTV News reports:
On Thursday (August 30), MTV announced that the upcoming sixth season of “Jersey Shore” will be its last. [A bunch of promotional horseshit I'm not reposting here.]
When reached for comment, MTV said, “In this post-Honey Boo Boo world, Jersey Shore suddenly found itself becoming an exemplar of poise and etiquette which flies in the very face of the reason we created this show in the first place. That reason of course being making a bunch of Italian and/or Italian-looking kids get AIDS at the beach while a midget shits in their house. It was our News Night 2.0, and they ruined it!”
Photos: INFdaily, Splash News
The first sign that 2012 being our last year on this planet might be horseshit.
Now, lets get some videos back on please.
Keep in the mind, everyone, the saying that goes, better the devil you know than the one you don’t.
MTV has already shown the depths of the barrel bottom they can reach. In this pop culture, the only way is down (Quick, choose: JS cancelled, or Justin Bieber’s & Lady Gaga’s careers ended overnight. I’d go the latter everytime.)
Ok, now Im gonna go have a drink to celebrate! Woo hoooooo!
You, me and the rest of North America, if not the entire world.
There IS a god!
That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for Jerseykind.
Fish, you in a good mood today or something…this is an unexpectedly nice gift you have presented.
And now the process begins. Cue the Ferrari and Lamborghini repos, house foreclosures, IRS tax liens etc etc coming in the next 3-5 years as the money runs out.
Now if we could only get rid of the fucking Kardashians too.
It’s as simple as poisoned herpes meds, delivered to that bunch, and various people named “Lohan”. Did we discuss this before?
Don’t forget the inevitable suicides of some of the cast members.
Finally… Although who knows what other piece of shit show will replace it? It’s like MTV and TLC are f@#$ing with us all trying to one up each other with the most ridiculous show. Jersey Shore was ridiculous at its peak but has been overtaken by the most retarded, redneck shit ever – Honey Boo Boo. Your move MTV and Godspeed to us all for whatever it comes up with.
It’s being replaced with “12-Year-Old Mom,” and a music show hosted by that Teen Mom chick that made that horrifyingly awful music video.
Don’t kid yourself. God still hates you. That’s why these assholes will make 150K an episode while you can’t even find a job!
The existence of “Teen Mom 3″–it’s in production now–further proves the universe is still a cold, barren, and amoral place, absent any arc towards justice, progress, or order.
YEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! explosions flying rainbows doves on the wing orgasm.
MTV cancelling a show is code talk for blindfolds, vacant garbage land under the Jersey turnpike, and point blank gunshots to the back of the head with a 45.
I hope to fuck the Situation goes last so he knows exactly what’s coming.
And America’s collective IQ began to rise.
Her juggs get bigger every season.
Soon they will hang lower and lower every year.
“TO OBSCURITY…..AND BEYOND!!”
Ding Dong! The shore is canceled. Shit! which shore? The Jersey shore!
Ding Dong! The Jersey Shore is canceled.
Wake up – sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.
Wake up, the Jersey Shore is canceled.It’s gone where the goblins go,
Below – below – below. Yo-ho, let’s open up and sing and ring the bells out.
Ding Dong’ the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.
Let them know
The Jersey Shore is canceled!
Sounds like the Jersey Shore cast found some method to communicate that they wanted a pay increase using human sounds…
Which JS alumni will die first, and will it be of natural causes (hepatitis, cirrhosis of liver seem likely) or accidental?
My money would be on this joker up above. His liver will never make it to 40.
MTV is just clearing the board for new fabulous shows. Given their programming track record we should be all a-quiver with anticipation.
now please all fade into anonymity.
finally!
the flying douchemen
only time sami doesnt have his nuts in a vice
a cuntedactyl
Not to rain on everyone’s parade, but I don’t think this cancellation applies to Snooki and JWoww’s show.
+1 for The Newsroom reference, Fish.
Never watched it
Now lets get the other crap out of MTV
That’s the most innovative use of semen being pumped from Snooki’s stomach one could ever imagine
I guess we’ll never be able to see if they learn how to walk upright.
They need to cancel MTV.
Seeing as he’s pissed away his cash on a slew of Ferrari’s and Lamborghini’s, I’ll bet within 3 years “The Situation” is found giving blowjobs in the alley for thirty dollars a pop.
‘When reached for comment, MTV said, “In this post-Honey Boo Boo world, …while a midget shits in their house.”
Haha, that was classic.
On a more serious note, is there any prospect of MTV getting cancelled? Pleeeeeeease.
Today we celebrate that not another DAGO by where we have to see these filthy WOP Guido greasy ass bitches and whores on television!
I Herd since yesturday on GMA that MTV. Announced that they are Cancelled freaking jershey shore. I have only one thing to say Yahoooo!!! Thank God it’s about dam time that freaking jersey shore is coming to end. They should of cancelled it along time ago Because, I always thought that guys are So dam Ugly & I always thought the girls from Jershey Shore look like a bunch of tramps. I don’t get why Guys like that show? To me that show is a peace of garbage. I just wish they didn’t cancelled The Original Teen Mom Because, I always like that show is Because, of a couple reasons. Number 1. The show is very interested Because, of those young teenagers Became young parent’s, & Number 2. My favorite cast members are Catelynn Lowell & Tyler Baltierra Because, I think they are cute couple & I also think Tyler is kind of cute. So I’m going to miss The Original Teen Mom series. But like I said before I’m so dam happy that Jershey Shore is going to be off the air. Hopeful next is to be cancelled is The freaking Keep up with the kardashians & freaking glee Because, I think The show keep up with the kardashians is so bording & That show Glee I think is kind f corny.
Just to clarify, these douche nozzles and duck-lipped ‘hos are not from Jersey. They are from NYC. I live in NJ and, Christ, I’ve been fending off the haters because of these ass clowns for six effing years!
Gravity’s the last thing that’s attracted to him and he fights it.
Now if somehow the people who watched this pathetic excuse of a show, would get “cancelled”, this story would be complete.
Cabbage Muff!
I’d like to sit on J-Woww’s face.
WHY do his legs look SOOO stumpy? This is the weirdest picture ever, ew ew ew
GOOD!!! Didn’t like it no way!!
I’m glad to see that you guys are as excited about this news as I am! My roommates are still obsessed with the Jersey Shore, so I was beginning to think that I was the only one ready for this GTL lifestyle to be over. It’s a bummer that they are still having a final season, since I already know that my roommates aren’t going to miss one second of it. At least we upgraded our DVR to the Hopper just in time, which has three individual tuners, so they can watch Snooki stumbling around for the millionth time and leave me to watch my shows. Or else, I would’ve had to hide out in my office at Dish like I’ve been doing every other Thursday that the show has been on. I could not be happier that this series is finally over!