Jersey Shore Angelina’s Fiance Calls Off Engagement (Read: He’s Not The Father)

April 29th, 2011 // 27 Comments

Jersey Shore star Angelina Pivarnick accepted a proposal from David Kovacs in February which she hoped to leverage into the show recasting her. Except the same day she said “yes” to a guy who was actually serious about marrying her, she was still banging another dude which is pretty easy to play off if you don’t let him stick a baby in you. Which Angelina did. Cut to today where David revealed he’s called off the engagement, according to RadarOnline:

“I’m going through a really tough time right now,” he said in an exclusive interview. “I have ended things with Angelina.”
He claimed that he went through her phone and saw texts from multiple guys.
“I got a text from a fire fighter who actually apologized for sleeping with Angelina saying he just found out she was engaged. … I actually found a pair of guy’s underwear in her car.”

So I guess the best case scenario here is the firefighter also breaks up with Angelina and she dies during childbirth for not being smart enough to realize an abortion would’ve let her secretly cheat for at least another year. I know that sounds harsh, but trust me, it’s the only way these Shore kids’ll learn anything. I even tried hand puppets, and they just laughed then tried to fuck them. I can still feel Snooki‘s quills.

Photos: Splash News

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  1. peanut

    so…where’s those jwoww nude pictures already?! (third biatches)

  2. Any Guy

    who would have thought Ms. Valtrex would be fuckin’ multiple dudes? that ex must be a rocket scientist.

  3. Huh

    who. the. fuck. cares?

  4. Her: Don’t jizz in my butt, I don’t want to get pregnant.
    Him: Can I jizz in your cootch, then?
    Her: Yes, yes you may.

  5. pepper

    *pops head in……..”has anyone seen JOUST?”

  6. Vivian

    HA! this is just f**ing hilarious, great entertainment! and they’re doing a social service too, setting and example for everyone watching the show: “don’t let yourself get pregnant by your lover if you’re engaged to someone else”

    So what’s next? will we see the three parties involved in one of those talk shows with the paternity test and chairs flying across the stage?

  7. Imagine that promiscuous, unprotected sex could result in pregnancy. Honest to God, don’t kids learn ANYTHING in school anymore? I can understand flunking calculus or coloring between the lines, but if you can’t even pay attention in Phys Ed… well, I was going to say you’ll end up a poor loser, but apparently you can turn willful ignorance into a multimillion dollar career.

    Where was I going with this? Meh…

  8. Harry Doyle

    Just abort it. Since my taxes get to pay for that shit, I should get to pick who to eliminate.

  9. Harry Balzac

    Excellent cross promotion possibilities for MTV. Angelina could guest star on “Teen Mom”. Or do you lose eligibility if you’re over 13?

  10. Ed

    Staying famous without talent is hard.

  11. muddy mudskipper

    He’s not the father; the father is a jackal.

  12. Wow, she has seen a lot of cock recently. This is good. She was my guess in our office “Which Jersey Shore star will get AIDS first?” pool. That $50 is mine!

    Of course after that I hope to win our office “How many cast members of Jersey Shore will the AIDS spread to before they realize they have it?” pool.

  13. HollyDeath.com

    I hope these jersey shore people learn something about life when they go to Italy. They’ve had their 15 minutes of fame. Enough!

  14. I hope these jersey shore people learn something about life when they go to Italy. They’ve had their 15 minutes of fame. Enough!

  15. Stay rough my friend

    This dude is hyper sensitive and he just cost her a job.

    Next time be carefully who you get engaged to Angelina.

  16. dirk diggler

    death during childbirth? damn, you need to lighten up and at least make a joke that’s funny

  17. tlmck

    She should dye her hair blond and hook up with Tiger Woods.

  18. the captain

    she is like all americans: THEY F*CK AROUND!!

  19. Angelina Pivarnick Jersey Shore Pregnant Cheated
    Eggs = Scrambled male chicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Some people treat their boyfriends so badly, I look on as a single girl and think wtf, you are priveleged to have someone and do that?!

  20. Rick Jr.

    I don’t believe in abortions, I do however believe in accidentally falling down the stairs over and over again.

  21. Mario

    Gondolas and pasta changed my life.

  22. JoeMomma

    She could have married the Situation, if he wasn’t gay………

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