Following Jerry Sandusky‘s interview with Bob Costas last night where he declared his innocence – More on that in a minute – his lawyer appeared on The Today Show this morning and basically called Mike McQueary a liar along while asserting they’ve made contact with the young boy who McQueary claims to have seen being raped, only to walk away from him to score a sweet promotion like a massive ginger vagina:
“We believe we found him, and if we have found him, he’s telling a very different story than Mike McQueary,’’ Amendola said. “He’s saying it never happened.’’
Despite a report by The New York Times that close to 10 more alleged victims have come forward since Sandusky’s arrest, Amendola maintains all of them could be lying.
“Isn’t that a possibility?’’ Amendola said. “What we’re saying is we plan to investigate this and find out if that’s a possibility. Is it possible that Jerry did all these things? Of course. And if he did, they’re the most serious types of offenses that anyone could commit upon children and should be punished accordingly. But what if he didn’t? What if he’s innocent? His life will never be the same.’’
You gotta love how even Sandusky’s own lawyer at the end of the day still goes, “But if he did do this, oh yeah, fuck him.” However, Amendola continued to tout the “I shouldn’t have showered with those boys” defense which is what Sandusky used last night in his Rock Center interview with Bob Costas that is already a case study in how not to make yourself look absolutely guilty of raping tons of kids:
“I say that I am innocent of those charges,” Sandusky said in the phone interview.
When asked by Costas, “Are you a pedophile,” Sandusky responded, “No.”
“I could say that I have done some of those things. I have horsed around with kids. I have showered after workouts. I have hugged them and I have touched their legs without intent of sexual contact,” said Sandusky.
When asked by Costas to concede any wrongdoing, Sandusky said, “I shouldn’t have showered with those kids.”
“I didn’t molest those kids, I just touched their thighs a lot.” WOW! I don’t know about you, but when I touch a young boy’s legs, it’s pretty much a guarant– Photo Boy, stop punching my hands away from the keyboard! Jesus, what’s gotten into you? Now, where was I? Oh, right, Jerry Sandusky’s guilty. The thing you need to know about child molesters – Especially ones like Sandusky who’s been enabled by an entire university because of his coaching prowess. The dude was staring people in the eye while raping these kids basically daring them to do something about it! – is they possess a fucked up clinical detachment where we’re the ones who are wrong. Which means it’s only a matter of time until we get to hear this in court: “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, perhaps I shouldn’t have showered with those kids, but if checking their prostates with my penis makes me a pedophile, then we’ve completely lost our way as a society. May I bang the gavel, your honor? I think I’ve earned it.” And if you think that’s an exaggeration, keep in mind anyone with even a barely functioning moral compass would’ve blown their own brains out in shame and embarrassment by now, instead Jerry Sandusky called into Bob Costas. He’s probably trying to book Oprah right now, or God willing, the Duggars. “Oh, please, be the Duggars,” he’s saying while looking at the elementary school he lives next to. (Oh, yeah, that’s happening, too.)
UPDATE: Apparently Sandusky’s lawyer knocked up a 16-year-old in 1996 when he was 49. I really see this case going well. Legal dynamos these two.