Jerry Sandusky‘s current lawyer has already done everything wrong from letting his client do horribly incriminating interviews to waiving a preliminary hearing, that Carlisle, Pa. attorney Karl Rominger had to join the defense to get things back in order. Except Karl Rominger is also a right wing, gun nut AM radio personality, so of course he managed to walk right onto the case and make everything that transpired before him look like a goddamn Mensa convention. Here he is telling abc27 News that Jerry Sandusky was simply teaching those poor boys how to shower which he’s now attempting to walk back as a “hypothetical” scenario after literally every single person who heard it went “Jesus fucking Christ.” That includes the Pope who couldn’t be happier with this. “Yes, yes, look ata the footballa team. Pizza pie-a!” (German pope, I know.)
“Some of these kids don’t have basic hygiene skills,” attorney Karl Rominger said. “Teaching a person to shower at the age of 12 or 14 sounds strange to some people, but people who work with troubled youth will tell you there are a lot of juvenile delinquents and people who are dependent who have to be taught basic life skills like how to put soap on their body.”
Yes, and Michael Jackson was simply using Jesus Juice to teach kids how to take Communion. In the meantime, the defense is planning on attacking Mike McQueary‘s credibility which shouldn’t be too hard considering his story changes almost daily to save face because it’s now gone from he did stop the rape to just kidding, he didn’t actually see any rape to fall on his sword to protect Joe Paterno which is where it landed this morning when McQueary testified in court. Via SI.com:
McQueary said he saw Sandusky was behind a boy he estimated to be 10 or 12 years old, with his hands wrapped around the boy’s waist. He said the boy was facing a wall, with his hands on it.
He said he peeked into the shower several times and that the last time he looked in, Sandusky and the boy had separated. He said he didn’t say anything, but “I know they saw me. They looked directly in my eye, both of them.”
McQueary said he reported what he saw to coach Joe Paterno.
He said he did not give Paterno explicit details of what he believed he’d seen, saying he wouldn’t have used terms like sodomy or anal intercourse out of respect for the longtime coach.
So let me get this straight: Going by the latest testimony, Mike McQueary didn’t have the moral fortitude to stop a man from raping a small boy, but he made sure not to talk about butt sex out of respect for Joe Paterno’s sensibilities? C’mon. “Sure, maybe in hindsight, explaining things in detail would’ve stopped more kids from getting raped, but Coach doesn’t allow sex talk. Especially before a big game. Ha, no sir.”