If you’ve seen X-Men: First Class and/or Mad Men, then you know that January Jones has exactly one acting speed and it’s “Frigid Monotone Robot Built To Hate Children” a.k.a herself. (If you’re wondering how she’s smiling in these photos, she sucks her infant son’s joy right out of his dried afterbirth each morning. No, really.) So it really shouldn’t come as a surprise that Jerry Bruckheimer made her dance on a conference table to audition for Coyote Ugly only to watch his penis turn to ice which is really the key takeaway from her anecdote during The Hollywood Reporter‘s Emmy Roundtable of Drama Actresses:
January Jones: That just reminded me of one of the worst moments in my entire life. It was an audition for Coyote Ugly, my second audition ever. I’d done the reading for the acting part and then Jerry Bruckheimer wanted me to come in and dance … on top of the table.
Margulies: You mean just regular dance?
Jones: Yes. They said, “You’re going to dance to Prince’s ‘Kiss.’ You’re going to pole dance, but there is no pole.” (Laughter.) And I just turned beet red. It was awful, and he said something like, “Honey, you did a great reading, but you’ve got no rhythm.” (Laughter.) I called my agent and said, “I don’t want to do this anymore.”THR: Have you seen Bruckheimer since then and recounted this story?
Jones: Oh, he has no recollection of it.
Sedgwick: Of course not. He’s said that to so many girls.
Jones: The weirdest part though? There’s was this one skinny guy in the room hiding behind a plant and just giggling the whole time, mumbling “Jerry, make her wash my Ferrari. My Ferrari, Jerry. It’s dirrrttty.” I never did catch his name.
Photos: Getty, Splash News
Huh. So the director wanted to see the actress dance on a table for a role where the characters literally get up and dance on a table/bar.
And this surprised January Jones, why?
Her agent had said it was to audition voice-overs for a nature film, just to get her out of his office.
She was surprised because no one has ever found her sexual or even qualifying in the least bit. Therefore asking her to dance on top of a table would be like asking a hobo to perform open heart surgery or pretend like he’s performing open heart surgery.
On another note, she just signed the death warrant on her career (or if you call it that). You don’t talk shit about anyone in the Ultra Rich Jew Club.
You think she’d have a career that goes beyond Mad Men? She leaves most people feeling as cold as that Heigl critter.
The proper term is “Kate Hudson II”.
Jones went to recall how angry she was when a producer wanted her to say medical terms during an audition for “ER,” when a director asked her to wear a policeman’s uniform for an audition for “CSI,” and when a casting director wanted her to pretend to be running from a horde of zombies during an audition for “The Walking Dead.” “It was just so stupid and humiliating,” she said. “Finally, the producers of Mad Men just let me be me. But they make me pretend my name is Betty, which is annoying. My name’s January, damn it.”
When Jerry said “You’ve got no rhythm.” did Michael Bay jumped out from behind a fake fern in the room and yell “I CAN USE HER!”
Did you not read Fish’s epilogue back there?
I’m not sure what the problem is. The movie is literally about women dancing on tables. She should have expected to dance on a table for the audition.
Never saw her smile.
Never want to again.
And Jones’ suffering extends into her personal life as well. She had a torrid affair with Claudia Schiffer’s husband that resulted in a pregnancy. Jones called Matthew Vaughn to express her outrage. “‘I said to him, ‘how did this happen? I don’t want to do this anymore.’ But he had no recollection of me.”
At least it wasnt a speling bee
He had her dancing on the table while he set up his….er…..pole.
Like virtually all celebrities (even the guys), January Jones was a former model before she becoming an “actor”. She, along with many, many others, got her first few roles on her looks alone.
So, why is it surprising to her that casting directors would want to hire her for the “hot girl” parts? She ain’t dame Judy Dench. January, honey, let’s accept why you’re even on TV and in movies in the first place, m’kay?
I’m still baffled at how Don Draper was able to pry Betty’s legs apart to get children out of her.
Because he’s Don fucking Draper, that’s why. He’s smooth like that.
So Bruckheimer makes you dance on tables, Bay makes you wash Ferraris and Ratner makes you have sex with him while he eats shrimp with cocktail sauce. Hollywood is sure a strange and interesting place. I can only imagine what George Lucas makes you do.
I’d have made her writhe around naked in a plastic kids pool full of warm safflower oil. I should really work in Hollywood.
There may be work for you in Van Nuys.
Is that her smile, her facial expression when she’s contemplating killing someone, or both?
Does she not realize that the part for Coyote Ugly was for girls dancing on top of bars like strippers? Not inappropriate to ask to see if it’s what the part calls for. Not the brightest star out there, is she?
Just another psudeo-feminist actress who thinks she better and more deserving of things than she really is.
Now i know why she doesn’t smile much
I honestly don’t get what’s so great about her.