Jeremy Renner ‘was’ a badass in my book

March 9th, 2010 // 30 Comments

Jeremy Renner apparently is not fondling Jessica Simpson’s breasts while wearing a bomb suit, according to Us Magazine:

But Renner – who brought his mom to the Oscars Sunday – told UsMagazine.com Sunday at the Governor’s Ball that he only met Simpson, 29, for “three minutes.”
“Her hair stylist [Ken Paves] did my mom’s hair so we were talking about that — and then all of a sudden we’re dating!” he told Us.
Asked if he’s seeing anyone, he told Us, “I’m single — and looking!”

C’mon! You were nominated for Best Actor and standing right next to Jessica Simpon. All you had to do was pretend you’d marry her* and the next thing you know you’re playing booby tetherball with her dad. It’s honestly that simple.

*Also accepted: Promises of Dairy Queen and “Hi, I’m Tony Romo in disguise.”

Photos: Getty

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Comments (30)

  1. Angie | March 9, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    Pancake ass in pic #7. Does anyone else think this Jeremy Renner guy looks just like the guy who plays Miley Cyrus’s brother in “Hannah Montana”?

    Reply
  2. Angie | March 9, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    Wait. Was I supposed to douche out and say “first”?

    Reply
  3. Girl | March 9, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Yep. He’s fuckin hot

    Reply
  4. Captain_Insano | March 9, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    Anyone up for booby tetherball?

    Reply
  5. Greg | March 9, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    She is still GORGEOUS! No matter what so many people on this site say about Jessica Simpson, she is great looking!

    Reply
  6. skinny fat | March 9, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    Jeremy Renner IS a badass. And he’s HOT.

    Reply
  7. Alli Watermelon | March 9, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    He is NOT hot to me…in the least. He’s actually very peculiar looking. Jessica looks very pretty and I like the dress, aside from the ass shot. It doesn’t do much for her back end lol.

    Reply
  8. Deacon Jones | March 9, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    What he shoudlve said is:

    “Shit, if she looked like she did a couple years ago in Dukes of Hazard, I wouldve brought her to the Oscars with me ON MY DICK. Now?? Meh.”

    Reply
  9. sandra | March 9, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    Looks like he’s wearing a bit too much makeup. Men should never wear makeup! He isn’t cute either.

    Reply
  10. AnnaDraconida | March 9, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    I’d hit it (NOT Jessica)

    Reply
  11. Jimmy Fury | March 9, 2010 at 4:48 pm

    Thank god. Jeremy Renner needs to date someone with a brain.

    and a wang.

    *ahem* (raises hand)

    Reply
  12. eatme | March 9, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    hurt locker was a shit movie. one of the most overrated of all time.

    Reply
  13. Royally Obsessed | March 9, 2010 at 8:31 pm

    a little american royalty greerfan.webs.com

    Reply
  14. r4 firmware | March 9, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    I loved The Unusuals & loved him in his role. Probably a good thing it wasn’t picked up for a new season because he’s probably not going to available.

    Reply
  15. Bud | March 10, 2010 at 3:10 am

    He kinda looks like James Cagney.

    Reply
  16. usb flash drive | March 10, 2010 at 5:19 am

    She is still Gorgeous ! No matter what so many people on this site say about Jessica Simpson

    Reply
  17. captain america | March 10, 2010 at 6:23 am

    no doubt, HE DEFINITELY IS!!

    Reply
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  19. COCK COCK COCK COCK COCK!!!!!!! | March 10, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    COCK COCK COCK COCK COCK!!!!!!!

    Reply
  20. Da Troooooooooof Hertzzzzzz | March 10, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Jessica lost her boobiezzz

    Reply
  21. Lord Cashington Moneymeyer the third | March 10, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    I always confuse him with Devon Sawa, is that normal?

    Reply
  22. Mitch | March 10, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    It’s obvious that he was on drugs just by looking at that shirt he is wearing in the photo above.

    Needless to say he was an inspiration to me and I slapped my chubby to attention and blew a tribute load over a shirtless photo of him that I was saving for just such an occasion.

    Later,

    Mitch

    Reply
  23. Bandit | March 10, 2010 at 10:34 pm

    Bitch needs to lay off the biscuits and dick. Try an egg and some snatch to lose that ass ya fat fuck.

    Reply
  24. Neon+Atlas | March 11, 2010 at 5:21 am

    ok, this guy as the most anonymous face possible. He could be bubba’s best friend in some shithole down in lousiana. Redneck’s all along.

    Reply
  25. xiangnian | March 13, 2010 at 10:28 am

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  26. Sally Sue | March 16, 2010 at 4:24 am

    Jeremy is a fabulous actor, but this handsome man is gay.

    Reply
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  30. Robert | May 20, 2010 at 6:59 am

    Ass shot is terrible. Jessica’s big horse teeth have always scared me.

    Reply

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