Jeremy Renner ‘was’ a badass in my book

March 9th, 2010 // 30 Comments

Jeremy Renner apparently is not fondling Jessica Simpson’s breasts while wearing a bomb suit, according to Us Magazine:

But Renner – who brought his mom to the Oscars Sunday – told Sunday at the Governor’s Ball that he only met Simpson, 29, for “three minutes.”
“Her hair stylist [Ken Paves] did my mom’s hair so we were talking about that — and then all of a sudden we’re dating!” he told Us.
Asked if he’s seeing anyone, he told Us, “I’m single — and looking!”

C’mon! You were nominated for Best Actor and standing right next to Jessica Simpon. All you had to do was pretend you’d marry her* and the next thing you know you’re playing booby tetherball with her dad. It’s honestly that simple.

*Also accepted: Promises of Dairy Queen and “Hi, I’m Tony Romo in disguise.”

Photos: Getty

  1. Angie

    Pancake ass in pic #7. Does anyone else think this Jeremy Renner guy looks just like the guy who plays Miley Cyrus’s brother in “Hannah Montana”?

  2. Angie

    Wait. Was I supposed to douche out and say “first”?

  3. Girl

    Yep. He’s fuckin hot

  4. Captain_Insano

    Anyone up for booby tetherball?

  5. Greg

    She is still GORGEOUS! No matter what so many people on this site say about Jessica Simpson, she is great looking!

  6. skinny fat

    Jeremy Renner IS a badass. And he’s HOT.

  7. He is NOT hot to me…in the least. He’s actually very peculiar looking. Jessica looks very pretty and I like the dress, aside from the ass shot. It doesn’t do much for her back end lol.

  8. Deacon Jones

    What he shoudlve said is:

    “Shit, if she looked like she did a couple years ago in Dukes of Hazard, I wouldve brought her to the Oscars with me ON MY DICK. Now?? Meh.”

  9. sandra

    Looks like he’s wearing a bit too much makeup. Men should never wear makeup! He isn’t cute either.

  10. AnnaDraconida

    I’d hit it (NOT Jessica)

  11. Jimmy Fury

    Thank god. Jeremy Renner needs to date someone with a brain.

    and a wang.

    *ahem* (raises hand)

  12. eatme

    hurt locker was a shit movie. one of the most overrated of all time.

  13. a little american royalty

  14. I loved The Unusuals & loved him in his role. Probably a good thing it wasn’t picked up for a new season because he’s probably not going to available.

  15. Bud

    He kinda looks like James Cagney.

  16. She is still Gorgeous ! No matter what so many people on this site say about Jessica Simpson

  17. captain america

    no doubt, HE DEFINITELY IS!!

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  20. Da Troooooooooof Hertzzzzzz

    Jessica lost her boobiezzz

  21. Lord Cashington Moneymeyer the third

    I always confuse him with Devon Sawa, is that normal?

  22. It’s obvious that he was on drugs just by looking at that shirt he is wearing in the photo above.

    Needless to say he was an inspiration to me and I slapped my chubby to attention and blew a tribute load over a shirtless photo of him that I was saving for just such an occasion.



  23. Bandit

    Bitch needs to lay off the biscuits and dick. Try an egg and some snatch to lose that ass ya fat fuck.

  24. ok, this guy as the most anonymous face possible. He could be bubba’s best friend in some shithole down in lousiana. Redneck’s all along.

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  26. Sally Sue

    Jeremy is a fabulous actor, but this handsome man is gay.

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  30. Robert

    Ass shot is terrible. Jessica’s big horse teeth have always scared me.

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