Jeremy Renner apparently is not fondling Jessica Simpson’s breasts while wearing a bomb suit, according to Us Magazine:
But Renner – who brought his mom to the Oscars Sunday – told UsMagazine.com Sunday at the Governor’s Ball that he only met Simpson, 29, for “three minutes.”
“Her hair stylist [Ken Paves] did my mom’s hair so we were talking about that — and then all of a sudden we’re dating!” he told Us.
Asked if he’s seeing anyone, he told Us, “I’m single — and looking!”
C’mon! You were nominated for Best Actor and standing right next to Jessica Simpon. All you had to do was pretend you’d marry her* and the next thing you know you’re playing booby tetherball with her dad. It’s honestly that simple.
*Also accepted: Promises of Dairy Queen and “Hi, I’m Tony Romo in disguise.”













Angie | March 9, 2010 at 3:14 pm
Pancake ass in pic #7. Does anyone else think this Jeremy Renner guy looks just like the guy who plays Miley Cyrus’s brother in “Hannah Montana”?
Angie | March 9, 2010 at 3:15 pm
Wait. Was I supposed to douche out and say “first”?
Girl | March 9, 2010 at 3:17 pm
Yep. He’s fuckin hot
Captain_Insano | March 9, 2010 at 3:28 pm
Anyone up for booby tetherball?
Greg | March 9, 2010 at 3:33 pm
She is still GORGEOUS! No matter what so many people on this site say about Jessica Simpson, she is great looking!
skinny fat | March 9, 2010 at 3:41 pm
Jeremy Renner IS a badass. And he’s HOT.
Alli Watermelon | March 9, 2010 at 3:45 pm
He is NOT hot to me…in the least. He’s actually very peculiar looking. Jessica looks very pretty and I like the dress, aside from the ass shot. It doesn’t do much for her back end lol.
Deacon Jones | March 9, 2010 at 3:46 pm
What he shoudlve said is:
“Shit, if she looked like she did a couple years ago in Dukes of Hazard, I wouldve brought her to the Oscars with me ON MY DICK. Now?? Meh.”
sandra | March 9, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Looks like he’s wearing a bit too much makeup. Men should never wear makeup! He isn’t cute either.
AnnaDraconida | March 9, 2010 at 4:14 pm
I’d hit it (NOT Jessica)
Jimmy Fury | March 9, 2010 at 4:48 pm
Thank god. Jeremy Renner needs to date someone with a brain.
and a wang.
*ahem* (raises hand)
eatme | March 9, 2010 at 5:31 pm
hurt locker was a shit movie. one of the most overrated of all time.
Royally Obsessed | March 9, 2010 at 8:31 pm
a little american royalty greerfan.webs.com
r4 firmware | March 9, 2010 at 11:09 pm
I loved The Unusuals & loved him in his role. Probably a good thing it wasn’t picked up for a new season because he’s probably not going to available.
Bud | March 10, 2010 at 3:10 am
He kinda looks like James Cagney.
usb flash drive | March 10, 2010 at 5:19 am
She is still Gorgeous ! No matter what so many people on this site say about Jessica Simpson
captain america | March 10, 2010 at 6:23 am
no doubt, HE DEFINITELY IS!!
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COCK COCK COCK COCK COCK!!!!!!! | March 10, 2010 at 1:33 pm
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Da Troooooooooof Hertzzzzzz | March 10, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Jessica lost her boobiezzz
Lord Cashington Moneymeyer the third | March 10, 2010 at 3:10 pm
I always confuse him with Devon Sawa, is that normal?
Mitch | March 10, 2010 at 4:05 pm
It’s obvious that he was on drugs just by looking at that shirt he is wearing in the photo above.
Needless to say he was an inspiration to me and I slapped my chubby to attention and blew a tribute load over a shirtless photo of him that I was saving for just such an occasion.
Later,
Mitch
Bandit | March 10, 2010 at 10:34 pm
Bitch needs to lay off the biscuits and dick. Try an egg and some snatch to lose that ass ya fat fuck.
Neon+Atlas | March 11, 2010 at 5:21 am
ok, this guy as the most anonymous face possible. He could be bubba’s best friend in some shithole down in lousiana. Redneck’s all along.
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Sally Sue | March 16, 2010 at 4:24 am
Jeremy is a fabulous actor, but this handsome man is gay.
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Robert | May 20, 2010 at 6:59 am
Ass shot is terrible. Jessica’s big horse teeth have always scared me.