Jeremy Renner ‘was’ a badass in my book

Jeremy Renner apparently is not fondling Jessica Simpson’s breasts while wearing a bomb suit, according to Us Magazine:

But Renner – who brought his mom to the Oscars Sunday – told Sunday at the Governor’s Ball that he only met Simpson, 29, for “three minutes.”
“Her hair stylist [Ken Paves] did my mom’s hair so we were talking about that — and then all of a sudden we’re dating!” he told Us.
Asked if he’s seeing anyone, he told Us, “I’m single — and looking!”

C’mon! You were nominated for Best Actor and standing right next to Jessica Simpon. All you had to do was pretend you’d marry her* and the next thing you know you’re playing booby tetherball with her dad. It’s honestly that simple.

*Also accepted: Promises of Dairy Queen and “Hi, I’m Tony Romo in disguise.”

Photos: Getty