Jeremy Renner defuses Jessica Simpson’s heart (I went there.)

March 5th, 2010 // 63 Comments

Because he’s already played an explosive expert in The Hurt Locker, Jeremy Renner thinks it’s time to start handling some real napalm. With his penis. People reports:

Jeremy spent the night hitting on Jessica like crazy,” the source says. “They were really flirting up a storm.” Paves encouraged the two and, the source says, “Jessica loved it!” When the party was over, the two exchanged numbers, entering them into their phones.

Seriously, good for Jeremy Renner. If I managed to come out of nowhere and land a Best Actor nom for playing a character with gigantic testicles, you better believe “Motorboating Jessica Simpson” would be on my to-do list. I’m not saying it’d be the first item, but it’d definitely be somewhere before eating an albino tiger and hunting Dane Cook for sport. Of course, all this is predicated on the fact I think winning an Oscar is the same as finding a genie’s lamp.

Photos: Flynet

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  3. Boogeyman King Dong

    She’d look like a sweet and good girl.Who dat?

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    Is it just me or would she like to give me a nice present!?

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  8. According to Entertainment Lawyer it’s not Jessica Simpson who Renner may be hooking up with but Charlize Theron.

  9. Tiffany

    She looks terrible in these photos. I had no idea she was so overweight. That build is ok on the average girl next door, but unacceptable for someone whose career depends on looking GOOD.


  10. lostalias

    Hunting Dane Cook for sport! heh. LOVE IT! Funniest post I’ve read in awhile.

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  13. kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    i love she’s bag

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