Jeremy Piven is a sensitive flower

August 10th, 2009 // 38 Comments

Jeremy Piven is apparently still testy about the sushi incident that allegedly forced him to quit the Broadway run of “Speed the Plow.” Before his Thursday appearance on It’s On with Alexa Chung, the actor got into a shouting match backstage with Chris Kattan, according to NY Daily News:

Kattan – who’s been in town talking up his IFC miniseries “Bollywood Hero” – greeted Piven with a snarky, “So, what are you here to promote, your Broadway play?”
The actor sniped back irritably, “Well, what are you here to promote? Mango?” – a reference to Kattan’s swishy “Saturday Night Live” stripper character.
The actors continued to bark for a few minutes, but while Kattan thought the argument was in jest, Piven did not.
Says an insider, “After some back and forth, Jeremy said something really personal to Chris that basically attacked his career. He said ‘Whoa, man – I thought we were just fooling around here.’”
Not the right thing to say to the man who plays Ari Gold, apparently. “I’m getting sued for that s–t!” the actor shouted. “It’s not funny!”
Our source adds, “Jeremy slammed the green room door right in Chris’ face, and about 20 people in the hallway outside could hear him yelling obscenities. He was furious.
“Chris felt really badly about the whole thing, so about 15 minutes later he tried to approach Jeremy again to apologize, to tell him he was just kidding and that he didn’t mean to offend in any way. But Jeremy wasn’t having it at all. He slammed the door in Chris’ face AGAIN.”

Mostly because this season’s episode where Grandpa Ari gave Turtle a heart-to-heart talk made me want to stick my head in Paris Hilton’s vagina and die an acidy death, I’m going to recommend Jeremy Piven try some Midol the next time he’s crampy and forego my initial reaction of “What the fuck’s a Chris Kattan?”

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Comments (38)

  1. Lolocaust | August 10, 2009 at 10:39 am

    I didn’t know they were making a new Night at the Roxbury movie

    Reply
  2. Mac | August 10, 2009 at 10:41 am

    And a lot of you idiots defended him over Seth Rogen. Jeremy is a cry baby who thinks he is the s***. In reality he is a d-list celebrity. He goes on a tirade because he can’t take a joke. Before that it was leaving season 1 of Entourage at an expensive restaurant. Not only did he leave that as a tip but ti was for a table of 12. This dude is a low life piece of crap and Entourage is garbage. Weeds owns that trash

    Reply
  3. thumper | August 10, 2009 at 10:41 am

    I love his taste in toupees.

    Reply
  4. Cark the Brave | August 10, 2009 at 10:49 am

    Dude, Shave! Your face looks like the patchy hair of my grundle.

    Reply
  5. Aunt Jemima | August 10, 2009 at 10:50 am

    Negative stereotypes aren’t going to go away, Jeremy, until you stop acting like them. Are you religious Jeremy? Which one?

    Reply
  6. Narcissist | August 10, 2009 at 10:58 am

    Man. Jeremy getting sued, huh? At least Jeremy has his Marky Mark money to pay for things. Kattans wife dumps him, he’s probably living in a van down by the river.

    Reply
  7. Perkin Merkin | August 10, 2009 at 11:07 am

    He really thinks he is a thespian. What a joke.

    Reply
  8. Deacon Jones | August 10, 2009 at 11:09 am

    If you guys want to laugh your guts out thru your asshole, smoke a bowl and watch “Totally Awesome” with Chris Kattan. I never even heard of it before I watched it. Kattan shouldve gotten an Oscar.

    Reply
  9. RichPort's Ghost | August 10, 2009 at 11:27 am

    Vest and jean screams Maitre’D at the local Applebee’s…

    Reply
  10. TakeALaxative | August 10, 2009 at 11:46 am

    Jeremy need more bowel movements in his life. See what happens when the shit just sits in your colon.

    Reply
  11. omelette | August 10, 2009 at 11:53 am

    he “wigged” out

    Reply
  12. zips | August 10, 2009 at 12:01 pm

    I was watching a repeat of Seinfeld the other day with Piv in it – back when he clearly didn’t have hair plugs or a gym membership but quite possibly some dignity. Good times.

    Reply
  13. ROUGH Daddy | August 10, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    I dont know this guy or have seen anything he’s been in but hes always come off as a moaner in the press…

    Reply
  14. bUZZTOE | August 10, 2009 at 12:44 pm

    Once a talentless douchebag, always a talentless douchebag….

    NEXT!

    Reply
  15. Dot | August 10, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    Not that most (all?) celebrities aren’t publicity whores but I read that Piven hosted WWE’s show last week and was set to appear on Big Brother this week. Oh, and he has a new movie coming out soon, duh. I used to kinda like him but since sushigate, I think he’s pretty much a jackass. Can you say “zero credibility”? Get over yourself, dude.

    Reply
  16. Angie | August 10, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    Wentz-Pivenism Syndrome is a serious disorder with emotional side effects and male menstruation.

    Reply
  17. I hate John Cusack | August 10, 2009 at 1:14 pm

    Actually, I have had the DISPLEASURE of meeting and dealing with BOTH Jeremy Piven and John Cusack; and I gotta say, this story actually rings true. Jeremy Piven is the douchiest douche bag that there is.
    (and for as big of a pain in the ass as Piven is, John Cusack is infinitely worse- he transcends douchbag and moves into the “piece of absolutely worthless dogshit” catagory)

    I never in a million years thought that I would find myself respecting Chris Kattan.

    Reply
  18. The Jerk | August 10, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    Seems like Jeremy Piven got the Ari Gold signature “Bitch Slap for a Bitch”. Did I mention Entourage is shit?

    Reply
  19. nerdy is the new black | August 10, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    Maybe if Jeremy didn’t make up that whole mercury bullshit he wouldn’t be so touchy about being sued for it. I hope he gets pummeled in court.

    Reply
  20. The Dude | August 10, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    Ari is the shit… I’m not sure who this Jeremy guy is…

    Reply
  21. ha | August 10, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    @14

    He’s actually very talented. He’s a good actor with incredibly great comedic timing. Entourage would have sucked from day 1 without him, instead it fell apart after about 2 or 3 seasons.

    Reply
  22. caljenna | August 10, 2009 at 3:12 pm

    Say what you will about him, but you gotta hand it to him for the Mango retort…

    Reply
  23. noname | August 10, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    #17 – Cusack is a douchebag? How so? Very curious! I agree about the Piv.

    Reply
  24. bUZZTOE | August 10, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    @21

    As I’ve said once a talentless self absorbed douchebag, always a talentless self absorbed talentless douchebag.

    NEXT!

    Reply
  25. George | August 10, 2009 at 5:59 pm

    Ari Gold = the fucking man. Everyone STFU.

    Reply
  26. Garrett's Girl | August 10, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    Jeremy Piven is almost as big of a douchebag as Jon Gosselin, except Jeremy Piven doesn’t own any Ed Hardy clothing.

    Reply
  27. suck my dick | August 10, 2009 at 6:43 pm

    Who’s that douchebag? He looks like my unshaven genitals

    Reply
  28. el2012 | August 10, 2009 at 6:50 pm

    ahaahah….. “What’s a Chris Kattan?”, thats gold, Ari GOLD!!!

    Reply
  29. FooGooMaRooCoo | August 10, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    Turtle’s a fucking fat pole-smoking douchebag anyways. If Ari defends Turtle’s fat ass, fuck ‘em both!

    Reply
  30. datroof | August 10, 2009 at 9:23 pm

    You know, whenever performers/comedians say “it’snot funny” is the exact moment when it is at its most funny.

    Gotta love millionaire douchebags who love to mock others’ misfortunes, but cry like babies when their own are mocked.

    Oh yeah, Piven wears a rug too.

    Reply
  31. I HATE John Cusack | August 10, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    #23, John (fucking) Cusack is THIS kind of a hyena’s scrotal sack: I had to throw him out of a bar I worked at in the 1980′s, because he took a pool cue to the outdoor deck and trellis. (on a quiet, lovely afternoon, when it was only him and his friends on that deck, with nobody bothering them) Then I had to call the cops, because he threatened to use the aforementioned pool cue on me for bouncing his sorry ass.

    If I remember correctly, the owner of the bar eventually banned him for life.

    I have also waited on him in restaurants; once where he came in to a busy Sunday brunch with no reservation, a party of 12, and demanded to be seated immediately. (There were only 48 seats in this entire restaurant.) Oh, yeah, and he tipped NOTHING on this party of 12 that had the entire restaurant running for them from the moment they walked in the door. Constant requests for special orders and special drinks. It almost seemed like a game to them- ordering everyone around, and smirking. They behaved like spoiled little indulged brats. He never said thank you to the staff. He never said thank you to those diners who switched tables to accommodate him. He never even LOOKED at them.
    Hot buttered dick tip that he is.

    HE HAS NEVER TIPPED ME, OR ANY SERVER THAT I HAVE EVER MET WHO HAS WAITED ON HIM. (which is quite a few…)

    This is just the tip of the iceberg- there are several more that I can personally recount. (There are also some absolute doozies that I’ve heard from others; but I digress…)

    And trust me, NONE of it is pleasant. He is a pigfucker.

    (To be completely fair to the Cusack clan, I have also waited on John’s sister, Joan, several times- and she is intelligent, adorable, a hoot, and just a complete delight in general.)

    Reply
  32. Narcissist | August 12, 2009 at 10:19 am

    @ 31 -But John was in “Better Off Dead”, and “Trip At The Brain”, and they were both in “Grosse Point Blanke”. I think I can imagine it though.

    Reply
  33. okay, I hate him too... | August 12, 2009 at 7:26 pm

    Both Cusack and Piven subscribe to the “no expression on my face= deep acting” school of performing. Oh, and Piven also has a little of the George C. Scott “I look pissed off, therefore I’m a great actor” thang goin’ on, too. Every performance is the same- either angry/no expression, or nerdy guy/no expression. They bore me.
    Incidentally, I find it completely ironic and hilarious that Piven’s family owns an acting school (for privileged elitists) in Chicago’s Northern suburbs.
    And, yes, it is well known among Chicago’s waitstaff population that Mr. John Cusack is a fucker and doesn’t tip.

    Reply
  34. hahahaha | August 12, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    #4, #7, #16, #30-B’WHAHAHAHAHAH! yeah…..!

    Reply
  35. Gramps | August 12, 2009 at 11:41 pm

    If they don’t tip, and then go back to the same restaurant, I’ll bet Mr. Piven and Mr. Cusack have ingested some interesting things, unbeknownst to them…

    Reply
  36. Frank Turner | January 12, 2010 at 11:00 am

    #17 #23 If you think years ago was bad, you should see his Twitter account. He follows some weird porn queen/hooker who makes everyone sick with her chocolate lesbian orgy tweets, and just recently added her equally perverse cronies. We’ve all been wondering why the gossip sites haven’t busted him for his 24 hour online porn feed. Not only is he a douchebag, but what a Hollywood cliche he has become. Mr. anti-establishment fits right in with Tinsel Town posers with their over-blown, under-developed egos that need constant reassurance that they are still ‘hot’.

    Reply
  37. Frank Turner | January 12, 2010 at 11:00 am

    #17 #23 If you think years ago was bad, you should see his Twitter account. He follows some weird porn queen/hooker who makes everyone sick with her chocolate lesbian orgy tweets, and just recently added her equally perverse cronies. We’ve all been wondering why the gossip sites haven’t busted him for his 24 hour online porn feed. Not only is he a douchebag, but what a Hollywood cliche he has become. Mr. anti-establishment fits right in with Tinsel Town posers with their over-blown, under-developed egos that need constant reassurance that they are still ‘hot’.

    Reply
  38. usb flash drive | May 31, 2010 at 1:56 am

    I was watching Seinfeld the other day with a repeat of the Piv – back when he’s clearly on a gym membership or hair plugs probably was not much dignity. Good times.

    Reply

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