Jeremy Piven bails on play, not enough people saying ‘Dawg’

December 18th, 2008 // 22 Comments

Jeremy Piven has ditched his role in the David Mamet Broadway play “Speed-the-Plow” claiming he’s been stricken ill by mercury from eating too much sushi. I have no frickin’ clue, but I’m sure David Mamet will regale with us with a zinger fueled by having 300 ticketgoers demand refunds yesterday alone. The New York Post reports:

Piven missed Tuesday night’s performance – as well as yesterday’s matinee and evening performances – of “Speed-the-Plow,” much to the anger of ticket holders.
Piven, who flew to Los Angeles last night, is under con tract to perform throughout the show’s run, which began in October and is slated to end Feb. 22.
Over the past few weeks, the star had complained of “exhaustion” and “being tired,” sources told The Post.
The popular play’s investors aren’t buying it – and are discussing calling in their own doctor in to get a “second opinion,” the sources said.
Daily Variety reported that Piven said he was suffering from a “high level of mercury,” leading Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright David Mamet, who wrote the showbiz satire, to remark tartly, “My understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer.”

But what hasn’t Jeremy Piven been too tired for? Drinkin’:

Sources said that Piven hasn’t been too sick to party after performances – hanging out at bars into the wee hours, despite his grueling schedule of eight performances a week.
Witnesses have told The Post that Piven is a regular at the Lower East Side bar The Eldridge.
“He lives his life very much like the way his character on ‘Entourage’ does,” said one source.

He lives his life just like Entourage, huh? Phew. For a minute there, I thought this story wasn’t going to have an HBO original series angle to it, but it looks like I can put away the Xanax. But, wait, what would Jesus do? – - Hey, Geekologist, wanna buy some pills?

Photos: WENN

  1. havoc

    That’s a really bad hair piece….


  2. xyz

    I think David Mamet’s exact words in response were, “So my understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer.” I thought that was funny.

  3. alex

    #4, agreed, i cracked up when i read that.

  4. Cindy Lou Who

    I’m shocked to discover that somebody involved in “Entourage” is a douchebag.

  5. Me

    Anyone posting after Me eats their cereal with Jeremy Piven’s cockjuice

  6. Hamburgler007

    Fortunately for me Jeremy Piven has no cock. Everything I have heard about this guy indicates he is a giant bag of douche. He is supposed to be an incredibly big jerk off, both professionally and personally. He isn’t all that talented either.

  7. taby

    is mercury another word for COKE?

    oh and #7 don’t knock it till you try it mmmmmmmmm

  8. Even though i have a feeling this dude is a pompous ass. If you live in NYC particularly Manhattan going to a hip bar/club is a way of life, even if you are stricken with cancer…

  9. tree

    Explain the hair to me.

    Rug, transplant, wintering mammal…..wassup?

  10. blinded

    I’m having a problem reading the posts because of all these rude ads all over this page.

  11. 1 MILF Hunter

    Probably doing more coke than his character in “Smokin’ Aces”.

  12. tristan


  13. TorontoMom

    I think he’s hot. I’d bang ‘him

  14. weirdo

    This jew whiner bitch is like a thermometer. He enjoys having his head shoved up peoples asses to see if their sick.

    ……………who knows?

  16. I agree with #9. I’ve had “mercury” a few times, and the only thing I wanted to plow after that was that cute girl at the deli. The masturbation alone was exhausting.

  17. Drunkman

    Too bad you die if you eat too much mercury. It’s a heavy metal…it never leaves your system.

    That said, who gives a shit about Speed-The-Plow. Who cares about plays in general.

  18. hai

    Where is his stripey shrit from?

  19. i call 'em as I see 'em

    I think his “mercury poisoning” is that he’s getting a hair transplant, and didn’t want to kill the tender new follicles when the boiling stage lights hit them night after night. And I’m sure they would be made even warmer by that rodent slumbering on his noggin’.

  20. Luckily for me, Jeremy Piven is a cock. Everything I have heard of this guy indicates that he’s a huge douche bag. She is a incredibly big blow off, both professionally and personally is considered. That is not all that talented either.

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