Jeremy Piven Banged Miley Cyrus

Nope. No one thinking about rape here.

Jeremy Piven recently gushed to E! News about how great it is to work with Miley Cyrus, yet somehow nobody besides me has jumped to the obvious, if not the only possible conclusion that he banged her in front of a cell phone. No, really, all the pieces are here once you look past the part where Jeremy Piven admits he’s a teenage girl trapped in a man’s body. That… that I can’t explain:

“I think I must be an 18-year-old girl because we got along really well,” Piven told me while promoting his new drama I Melt With You at the Sundance Film Festival’s Bing Bar. “It was just so much fun. I had so much fun with her and we had great chemistry. It was really really weird—we’re like polar opposites.”
As for the Miley haters, Piven’s got her back. “You know, you can judge her, but what were you doing when you were 18?” he said. “She’s kind of amazing. There’s something so incredibly refreshing about someone who is exactly who they are. There’s nothing pretentious about her. She’s this force. She loves to laugh.”

Actually, I will judge. Because you know what I wasn’t doing at 18? Having sex with Jeremy Piven while my dad watched. — I think.

*checks diary* Goddammit.

Photos:Flynet, Splash News