Jeremy Piven Banged Miley Cyrus

January 28th, 2011 // 43 Comments

Nope. No one thinking about rape here.

Jeremy Piven recently gushed to E! News about how great it is to work with Miley Cyrus, yet somehow nobody besides me has jumped to the obvious, if not the only possible conclusion that he banged her in front of a cell phone. No, really, all the pieces are here once you look past the part where Jeremy Piven admits he’s a teenage girl trapped in a man’s body. That… that I can’t explain:

“I think I must be an 18-year-old girl because we got along really well,” Piven told me while promoting his new drama I Melt With You at the Sundance Film Festival’s Bing Bar. “It was just so much fun. I had so much fun with her and we had great chemistry. It was really really weird—we’re like polar opposites.”
As for the Miley haters, Piven’s got her back. “You know, you can judge her, but what were you doing when you were 18?” he said. “She’s kind of amazing. There’s something so incredibly refreshing about someone who is exactly who they are. There’s nothing pretentious about her. She’s this force. She loves to laugh.”

Actually, I will judge. Because you know what I wasn’t doing at 18? Having sex with Jeremy Piven while my dad watched. — I think.

*checks diary* Goddammit.

Photos:Flynet, Splash News


  1. Happy Spillmore

    Id sop her up with a biscuit! MMM MMM MMM…cmon over girl!

  2. Deacon Jones

    If he didn’t hit, I guarantee he tried…

    And FISH, something tells me you’ll be latering that headline soon…

  3. angryambrose

    Anyone notice how many times he says she’s 18. Yeah he’s not trying to cover his ass…

  4. Potzer

    Good on him. That guys found the fountain of youth in hair plugs and the gym. Look at him 20 years ago in “Ellen”, or back in “Larry Sander Show”, or “Gross Point Blank”… he looks like he’s going on 50 back then.

  5. This is Truth

    I’d bang her if she let me. That’s not happening, but we can always imagine.

    Jeremy Piven is a douchebag, though. Seriously, I hate him. I refuse to watch anything that he’s in, which pisses me off because he’s in some good stuff that I never allow myself to watch. I hate everything about him.

    I hope that he mates with manbearpig.

  6. strit

    what’s wrong with his… body?

  7. Get Ready

    Is she pregnant with his mercury flipper baby there?

  8. Talk Hard

    Piven is sporting some man-boobs.

  9. hard to believe shes not pregnant yet

  10. Tony Y

    The bigger headline here is: “Jeremy Piven mystifies country, continues to get work”

  11. Me

    what i did when i was 18… im 16 and do not act like this hill billy

  12. ThatBitchFromTheGym

    Looks like he knocked her up in the process. Billy Ray won’t mind though, he likes his women thick ;)

  13. xerozs

    Who wouldn’t try to get in to some (fresh?) 18-year-old pussy….

  14. either he banged her or he’s thinking of becoming an transgender person dressing in sterotypical 18 yr old outfits.

  15. jojo

    I am thinking he took a dump on her belly. Country style.

  16. “There’s something so incredibly refreshing about someone who is exactly who they are. ”

    I wonder if he would feel incredibly refreshed by finding my wet turd smeared across his car’s doorhandle because, hey, it’s just me being exactly who I am.

  17. Professor of Bonermatics

    Given the effusive nature of of Piven’s overly laudatory remarks toward Cyrus, it is highly probable that they were brought on by a flood of serotonin and oxytocin produced by a satisfied boner.

  18. Is that George Michael?

  19. Fuckjudger

    She is porking up nicely.

    Pretty sure we will see her talking about her weight issues in a few years.

  20. Miley Cyrus Jeremy Piven
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:


  21. Miley Cyrus Jeremy Piven
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Miley just had her big choppers bleached. You could read at night with those day-glo teef.

  22. The Listener

    The thing about a rumor that someone may be gay is that if a person denies it, people say he is lying. If he’s dating or married to a woman, people say she’s just his cover so he can stay in the closet. Once that kind of rumor gets started it’s all but impossible to extinguish it even though there may be absolutely no truth to it whatsoever.

  23. Miley Cyrus Jeremy Piven
    Commented on this photo:

    Not just boobs…man boobs!! That’s wrong…he’s wrong…she’s a skank…nuff said.

  24. I say good for Jeremy. Miley has a nice body and those legs were built for sex. Her mouth also looks like a destination and drop off point. I realize that she won’t age well if she keeps holding open house between her legs BUT I hope as many different guys spread those lips as often as possible.

  25. anon

    Meh…he doesn’t sound like he is banging her. He sounds more like he knows his career is over after Entourage so he is kissing ass.

  26. mamamiasweetpeaches

    Hes promoting a movie he made with her , of course hes gonna praise. What do you expect him to say “Shes a mouth-breather hillbilly with teeth that would peel my dick like a carrot”?

    By the way, when did he gets moobs??

  27. elbruce

    I love how he works in that she’s 18 into the conversation twice. Not 17, not 16, 18. Definitely 18, for the record.

  28. Miley Cyrus Jeremy Piven
    Commented on this photo:

    Confirmed GAY.
    Just google his package.

  29. Salvia

    He would do well to nail that……..she has a killer body from the bikini pics last year on the beach…….damn that will make a grown man cry or go to jail ,LOL !

  30. dj

    She looks pregnant

  31. Miley Cyrus Jeremy Piven
    Commented on this photo:

    I like his pet, wonder how he trained it to stay still on his head like that

  32. captain america

    ………………..please don’t bet on these S*CKERS, folks!!

  33. cc

    She’s packing on the pounds OR she retains serious water.

  34. iasufsf

    jeremy piven is the sex

  35. Ange

    I’d bang Jeremy Piven-he’s probably the hottest guy over 40! And I’m 20;) I pretty much wish my fiancé was just like him! LOL

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