Whenever Jenny McCarthy speaks, it causes children to die horrible deaths from easily preventable diseases. Which is why I’m happy to see her return to her roots lately and just be a retarded blonde with big, fake breasts who leaves medical science in the hands of people who don’t shit themselves in public. So here she is in Miami over the weekend reminding everyone why America fell in love with her in the first place and proving that, yes, I can forgive celebrities for their crimes against humanity. So she killed a bunch of kids by scaring thousands of parents into not getting them vaccinated. Her tits are HUGE. I’m not saying I’d forgive Hitler if he had a nice pair, but I’d probably laugh if he shaved that little mustache under each nipple. I’m just a man.
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