Jennifer Love Hewitt despite her proclamations after Bikini-Gate that’s she secure with her body, dropped 18 pounds over the past couple of months and plans on running a marathon on her 30th birthday. (My sources tell me a team of scientists at NASA are building her a sports bra.) Jennifer recently sat down with Health magazine to give the greatest goddamn advice I’ve ever heard in my life – but not counting the part about her wanting to be a nude 12-year-old. I don’t even know:
“I wish I had been nude from the time I was 12 until I was 28. I looked great! I want to tell all young girls to walk around in bikinis all summer–and enjoy it. I want to tell them to never, ever feel bad about anything, because there will be that one day in your 20s when you’ll eat a hamburger and actually see the hamburger on the side of your leg. Initially it’s shocking, and you think, Whoa, I have to actually think about what I eat and work out double the amount I did before.”
Yeah, everything she said. With the bikinis and the girls and the wearing all summer. Make that stuff happen.
ph7 | August 20, 2008 at 9:02 am
She looks malnurished.
She’ll never make it as a thin girl – that boat has left the dock.
Shoot for a Jenny Craig spokesman career.
PerfectGrrl | August 20, 2008 at 9:05 am
I love that chick. I feel the same way, I mean you don’t have to pose for playboy. But maybe have an artist paint you nude?
Jennifer Love Hewitt | August 20, 2008 at 9:08 am
Third!
Confused | August 20, 2008 at 9:12 am
I think I’m missing something here, when did she get fat?
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | August 20, 2008 at 9:15 am
Only her tits need to pose for playboy.
Celine Dion | August 20, 2008 at 9:22 am
I wish she was nude right now…from the waist up…
morga | August 20, 2008 at 9:36 am
#4 – She didn’t get fat, she just got her “mom hips” way too early.
rough daddy | August 20, 2008 at 9:37 am
she’s asking every young girl to be proud of their bodies? why is she always in a mumu or something that hide the giant kaboos shes dragging behind her…nice rack btw…
Candy | August 20, 2008 at 9:43 am
Nice rack???
Those things would droop in a torpedo shape once unbound.
Just big flabby fat bags
Confused | August 20, 2008 at 9:45 am
#7 – It’s fun referring to each other by numbers.
Mom hips or not I’d bang that shit like a salvation army drum.
rough daddy | August 20, 2008 at 9:46 am
shes still young and no kids,,,theyll stay intact!!!
Oscar | August 20, 2008 at 9:55 am
That forehead is HUGE.
Looks like a inbred hillbilly.
Loose flabby boobs, K-Mart dress, small eyes.
Deacon Jones | August 20, 2008 at 10:07 am
@10
No you wouldn’t. Do a search for her on this site and wait till you see her in the black bikini shots. It looks like fucking hell.
And what’s this, this is new. A woman who says she’s secure with herself and then desperately trys to lose weight and change herself? Wha wha what?
Dr. Otto Van DerWahl | August 20, 2008 at 10:16 am
This is very troubling news. Jen went from a full course buffet to just a mid-meal snack with just too much milk.
Ted Kennedy's tumor | August 20, 2008 at 10:22 am
We all know if she didn’t have those tits she would be a waitress at TGI Fridays.
Why is only her right nipple giving us the high sign?
Sell Porn Make Money | August 20, 2008 at 10:25 am
she has such a great rack… god bless her.
JimmyBachaFungool | August 20, 2008 at 10:27 am
I still watch Heartbreakers and jerk off to her scenes. But she is losing it fast.
gerard Vandenberg | August 20, 2008 at 10:29 am
YOU NEED PEOPLE WHO LIKE YOU?
(and so money?)
…WHORE!!
Rumer's MULF | August 20, 2008 at 10:36 am
For somebody whose false eyelashes don’t allow them to blink, that statement was so profound.
Pauly | August 20, 2008 at 10:49 am
She should only be nude from the waist up
no excuse for fatness | August 20, 2008 at 10:52 am
I’m her age and still the same small size I was in high school and an 18 BMI. Same size as Audrina Patridge, with , except thankfully not retarded looking or fakely enhanced (nice round real and perky) and longer legs. This woman has no excuse. Like what, 28 is the new 60 or something? She hasn’t had kids, not that that’s an excuse because it isn’t. My mom is in her mid 50′s and is the same size as Heather Locklear and my grandma is in better shape then Helen Mirren. I don’t get why stupid women blame age or kids or this or that. Oh right it’s because they’re lazy.
It’s a simple formula ladies, eat well and exercise a lot. Cut out the water retain salty processed crap, eat some fucking fiber, have a low fat diet and eat natural healthy food, it will make your skin look better too.Learn how to cook for fucks sake instead of going out to eat, it’s amazing how many lazy idiots can cook a delicious healthy meal form scratch. You get fat because you stuff your pie hole and don’t come close to working it off. It takes 4-5 hours of high endurance exercise to burn 2000 calories and a meal and mcfatties has way more than 2000 calories in it. I would watch lazy bitches go to the gym barely work out and then say “oh I worked so hard I earned all this pizza” and then shove their faces with 20 times the calories they burned. Fucking idiocy.
Only very very rare medical conditions cause you to gain weight no matter what you do. 99.9 % of the fatties and chubbers in the world eat to much and exercise to little.
And just remember heffers, there is no miracle diet, as long Oprah remains fat there is no miracle cure for fatness because that bitch would buy it in a second. It takes effort to stay lean. Nasty skin and bone hags like Nicole ritchie are begging their body to become covered in cellulite. Being toned and lean is what keeps you looking good. Kate Beckinsale needs to work out that lower body, she clearly doesn’t work out enough.
Even when I was young and my metabolism did it for me I worked out two hours a day, not because I had to but because I like the rush of exercise, of jogging, it feels great to get off your ass and if you don’t it will look like this woman’s – cue to black bikini pics of Jennifer love burgers.It’s your fucking responsibility to stay healthy and fit because every lazy fat bastard who gets sick is costing tax payers and the medical system. Imagine how many innocent lives doctors could save and how much better the medical system would be if doctors weren’t having to revive fatty MacI-can’t-quit-the-burgers, or I ate my way to diabetes bitch, or I smoked myself shit of a lung, or I starved myself into heart failure instead of working out enjoying healthy food and strengthening my heart in the process. You owe it to yourself, to society , to your family and to whoever you fuck to take care of your fucking body and not turn into a goddamned whale. There are too many people who are sick or injured through no fault of their own for you to go around wasting societies and doctors time’s because your so fucking lazy that you destroy you’re own body.
There’s no fucking excuse, yet all I see left and right are excuses after excuses and giant asses and guts after giant asses and guts.
no excuse for fatness | August 20, 2008 at 11:06 am
She did look fantastic in heart breakers and that wasn’t so long ago. She got this way due to a stage called “I have a desperate man who will stay with me even if I’m fat so I got fat because I’m so comfortable in my relationship”
it’s not like Heartbreakers was forty damn years ago. Even in that movie you could tell she had no real tone just curves in the right places and very little fat everywhere else. Most girls who have boobies of this size look great young, get married and then get huge. Just go to the midwest and ask to see women’s highschool or wedding pics, it will make you cry to see what they did to their boddies. Plus she’s always been hippy and the pear shape is a curse because any extra fat looks horrific.
I stillt hink there is hope for her, but she needs to quit talking about how hot she used to be like it’s too late for her now at the ripe old age of 28 and she has to succum to terminal fatness. Fuck woman you’re 28 get on that goddamned treadmill and eat right and you won’t look like this. All this sagginess suggests she’s just starving herslef since those bikini pics and she keeps wearing the classic j lo ass hiding dresses that look like tents and don’t hide anything cuz we all know that girls who wear them are hiding a giant ass load under there.
Useless hollywood woman since she clearly can’t get the simple basics of eating well and excercising hard she clearly needs a trainer STAT.
Ted Mosby | August 20, 2008 at 11:06 am
Two reasons to watch Ghost Whisper: Those Jugs.
Pauly | August 20, 2008 at 11:06 am
#21 post your picture you fat sow pig liar
Chenush | August 20, 2008 at 11:13 am
If youre britney, it could happen when you are like younger…
you pizza-faced losers | August 20, 2008 at 11:14 am
I see the same group of inbred pizza-faced jagoffs making the same remarks day after day.
EnglishGirl | August 20, 2008 at 11:14 am
As much as I agree with keeping slim and fit, no excuses,
No*21 needs to realise you can’t become a famous actress, successful or intelligent just by being thin! You need charisma too.
Kate | August 20, 2008 at 11:14 am
#21 – I’m sure you have a rock hard body and all, but that doesn’t give you the right to lecture others for 2 fucking posts. Nobody cares that you work out 30 hours a week or that you have perky boobs. So STFU, eat a burger and fucking relax already.
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | August 20, 2008 at 11:18 am
#21 – The length of your post directly correlates to the girth of your waist, piggy. That’s not me talking… that’s science.
gobats | August 20, 2008 at 11:32 am
#21 “And just remember heffers, there is no miracle diet, as long Oprah remains fat there is no miracle cure for fatness because that bitch would buy it in a second.”
That quote made me seriously laugh out loud. Your entire post was actually very enteraining and true.
Anonymous | August 20, 2008 at 11:36 am
Hey 21 & 22……..you sound like a bitter, jealous hag. I’ll bet you’re 21 years old, 5 feet 5 inches tall and weigh 270.
no excuse for fatness | August 20, 2008 at 11:37 am
#29. Actually it correlates to the length of my legs and the length of my husband fat cock.
Taking care of yourself is part of being a good person in this world and why the fuck would I want to be an actress they’re brainless puppets just like politicians. I work with third world poverty and medical research to find cures and treatment for diseases and medical conditions people get from not sitting on their asses so that is the kind of thing that makes you a worthwhile human being that and having the decency to take care of yourself so society doesn’t have to.
And why the fuck would I post a picture of myself. I can’t go fucking sit in the sun for five seconds without idiot pig men bothering me and I have had more stalkers than you can imagine so no thanks I won’t post my picture for all the Internet crazies to see and I actually respect myself and my husband so I’m not into that kind of trashy dirty girl shit.
I hate burgers they’re fucking sick, I’d rather eat your used tampon. I love a good lean steak though and I enjoy deserts, you can eat fries and cake in reasonable moderation, but burgers are just poison, MacFatties is feeding you the equivalent of cow shit.
I spoke the truth which you clearly don’t like hearing (which proves you’re all pretty insecure about your fat bodies, otherwise what I said wouldn’t have bothered you). BTW the whole point as a writer is to get people talking, controversy is what sells and you all bit because, so go on puppets; DANCE.
Goodday folks, try to face the truth and go take care of your boddies, instead of getting angry at someone who does.
noneyobeezwax | August 20, 2008 at 11:39 am
hey #21 – i’ll believe you’re not a 230 lb. jabba the hut lookin bitch if you believe my cocks 12″ long.
deal?
dogonabone | August 20, 2008 at 11:39 am
#12 – just want to clarify that hillbilly’s traditionally have short foreheads; as well as, cauliflower ears and unibrows to go along with their small, deep set eyes. she doesn’t look like a true hillbilly, but more similar to a christmas elf.
#21 – i made it through your first rant and then saw you posted a second tirade. your glucose is low, shut up and go eat.
JLH – 19lbs down and still fat.
Maximus | August 20, 2008 at 11:40 am
She looked amazing in “The Tuxedo.” It’s a shitty movie, but JLH looked awesome. She should’ve been nude throughout that movie.
membrain | August 20, 2008 at 11:41 am
Ha!, Jennifer secretly wished she could have grown up as a hedonist. Worry free about nudity, sex, and life.
Mia | August 20, 2008 at 11:47 am
#21
I agree with you that looking fit takes effort. Jen suffered from the I am in Love syndrome which means she ate too much and her boyfriend told her she still looks great. Then reality set in when the paps took pictures of her big hips and fat ass while at the beach and she is shocked about it lol!
no excuse for fatness | August 20, 2008 at 11:47 am
Wow # 31 you really are smart aren’t you. I said I was the same age of Jennifer Love Hugeportions, can’t you read? She’s fucking 28. What level of education do you have? I have an 18 BMI moron as in the BMI of supermodels and Olympic athletes. The bitter person is the fatty who freaks out with massive jealousy at anyone who isn’t fat and lazy like they are.
Thank you #30. Jebus it’s like I’m slaughtering baby seals here just because I speak the truth about this HUGE FATness epidemic in the developed world.
P.S Working in the medical field dealing with all the endless problems that the overweight and lazy cause actually does give me the right to speak the truth. Obviously I use a different tone here because this is a trash talking web site and it’s fun and necessary to let that out once in a while in this shitlazy world.
For Real | August 20, 2008 at 11:55 am
“no excuse for fatness” aka 21, 22, & 32
You are obviously carrying WAY TOO MUCH baggage! I am guessing that you were an ugly child that was teased a lot on the playground or something similar! You obviously have way too many issues to be coming to sites like this. Don’t try to explain yourself away as your previous three posts already speak volumes of your pathetic nature!
blahblahblah | August 20, 2008 at 11:57 am
# 31 is right. girls like jlh are the type who eat crap all their life b/c they’re skinny when their young but then complain about how it just “shows up on your hips” one day.
but dear god…
you could be working out 5 more hours a week if you didn’t spend so much time posting on blogs.
and i’m not sure why you’re bashing burgers. you can still enjoy burgers and be healthy. buy healthy free range ground beef, bison, or turkey and make your own burgers to enjoy with grilled veggies or salads.
blahblahblah | August 20, 2008 at 11:58 am
i meant #21 is right, sorry!
gobats | August 20, 2008 at 12:09 pm
#39 how is she “pathetic?” Nothing she said was false. Sounds like your are just foolish moron.
Bob White | August 20, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Love Hewitt has always been a pear shaped, squinty eyed, messed up grill chic. The only problem is she aged and the lower half, which was always larger than the top, got larger. Nice rack though.
Is #21 a loon or what? Get over yourself asshat. Your probably experiencing a manic phase of your mental disease which explains the over zealous approach you take in excercise and in writing dissertations/blog post.
I do agree that women use having a baby and age as an excuse. However , your not that great nor is what your saying as enlightening as you like to believe. How insecure that you have to comapre yourself to A. Partridge who is in no way the standard one should assume as the ultimate female form…that is unless you like 12 year old assless boys with implants.
you idiot | August 20, 2008 at 12:19 pm
#42 how do you know nothing she said is false? have you seen her or her husband’s cock? do you even know if she is really a she? maybe you’re the same person
you short-dicked nerds | August 20, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Keep pecking away from your mother’s basement, you tiny-pricked losers. If you had a girlfriend, you wouldn’t be posting on this website 24/7
Maybe your mommy will feel sorry for you and buy a blowup doll for you pizza-faced losers
Annie | August 20, 2008 at 12:25 pm
ph7: “she looks malnourished”
huh? she looks great in that pic above, not severely skinny at all. exactly how heavy are you that you think THAT is malnourished?
Good lord.
gobats | August 20, 2008 at 12:26 pm
#44 you are proving your idiocy with every word you type……keep it up you fucking dickless moron
no escuse for fatness | August 20, 2008 at 12:26 pm
I was cute as hell as a child, but thanks for attempting a little dime store psychology. I’ll write whatever the fuck I like whenever the fuck I like thank you. For people who aren’t idiots writing a long post or two actually takes very little time. I’ll tell you the secret, I am pissed and the reason isn’t baggage it’s because working in the medical field as much as you do have compassion for people and the fact that addiction exists not to the whiny extent of “I have a disease”, but that it exists and that people are human and flawed and make mistakes it’s still enormously discouraging to see all the time and money that is spent and that is taken away from those who are sick or dying through no fault of their own because we have to take care of those who have destroyed themselves. I did explain this quite clearly in my post and it’s a pretty reasonable reason to be pissed and frustrated considering what I have and continue to see all the the time. You obviouslty have to refute me because you ahve weight issues and that’s a fact, not dime store BS.
I like writing here. It’s my mental punching bag and we all have our outlets, working out gets out a lot, but you still want to vent sometimes and when you encounter that same apathy that makes you so frustrated you’re going to want to respond. In the end I want to people to take care of themselves so they can enjoy life.
Exactly #37. It happens a lot. Unconditional love is one thing, but enabling is quite another. I think a lot of men and women fatten up their spouse or partner just so that no one else will look at them.
Folks forget a ring to say “I’m taken” just get fat and then everyone will know you’re married. You want men to stop hitting on your girl get her a permanent fat suit (hint it’s her new birthday suit), women you want to feel secure in your relationship get him fat and spend all of his money; keep him poor and portly and no young girls will chase after him. Yup that’s the lovely world we live in. Selfish as the day is long.
kevTHA | August 20, 2008 at 12:27 pm
i weigh 110 but reading these comments i feel like i’m 1110.
:(!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU GUYS SUCK
no excuse for being burned out at 28 | August 20, 2008 at 12:28 pm
#21, etc:
I hope to god (for your patients’ sake if you are) that you are not actually in the medical field as you claim, or if you are that you are in one of the antisocial fields (eg radiology, pathology, “research”, etc) that usually attract the misanthropes of medicine. Or at least that you are brilliant enough (eg Gregory House) where it at least is a pro/con draw. Perhaps you have wallowed your way into the misogynists typical destination (gynecology) which would make a lot of sense albeit not any less tragic for your victims.