Jennifer Love Hewitt in German FHM

September 3rd, 2009 // 63 Comments

Here’s Jennifer Love Hewitt in the latest issue of German FHM looking airbrushed out the anus. Seriously, there’s no way she’s that skinny and I don’t care if she is wearing a corset. If that thing really was making her that thin, her breasts would be sticking straight up smacking her in the face. Or at least that’s how I’m imagining it in my head. Ha ha! Now how are you going to drive a car, Jennifer Love Hewitt?

NOTE: So these might be old photos. Shows how much I look at magazine pictorials of Jennifer Love Hewitt and will no longer trust the Germans in the future. Streusely bastards.

Photos: FHM
superficial

  1. Name No

    Ha, they took off 10 years and 40 pounds. Amazing!

  2. Dave ain't here, man

    Oh, if only it were true, I’d hit that like the fist of a vengeful god.

  3. tdog

    first

  4. realistic guy

    This is an old photo-hoot.
    Don’t worry, JLH of today is still a cellulite ridden cow.

  5. Jennifer Loves Cupcakes

    Well, she’s looking better than she was…..but she’s still carrying the mother of all butterfaces.(Okay, perhaps not the “mother of all butterfaces”, but at least “the 1st or second cousin of all butterfaces”, or perhaps “the younger sister of all butterfaces.”)

    That said, as long as her ninnies were still present I don’t think I’d kick her off of the futon for eating Cheez-Its, either.

  6. shorem

    These pictures are from a Maxim from like 5 years ago.

  7. Honestly, I don’t give a shit if this girl is fat or thin. I don’t see anything she’s done lately than get attention over her body.

  8. amoi

    Still relatively famous in spite of an absolute lack of acting talent.

  9. JAMS

    HOLY OLD PICTURES BATMAN

    recycle, reduce, reuse

  10. Fulton here

    Us Germans never let anything go to waste.

  11. Jayson

    Actually I saw Jaimie Kennedy do a standup comedy show in SF a few months ago, and the reason we went is because we knew J-love would be there (ah, codependency). His unfunny-ass brought her onstage, and I hate to say it but she IS that skinny. At least she was in April.

    We even saw her and assclown after the show while they were charging people to sign crap. I don’t think those pictures are airbrushed much at all, she got that ass back into shape!

  12. Lala

    it’s funny cause it says “It’s really her, you’re not seeing a ghost” on the front page :D (translated from german)

  13. Danklin24

    This is a really old shoot. That being said, JLH is hotter and more real than half the chicks on this site and she has breasts most girls would kill ten women for. She’s hot!

  14. Lola

    it’s funny cause it says “it’s really her, you’re not seeing a ghost” on the front page

  15. Name No

    11. Jayson, Well between April and July she lost it again. Did you see the current bikini pictures of her playing tennis in high heels? I don’t think I will ever forget that.

  16. Flower

    Hey. I know Love Hewitt. I’ve known her family for years. Her grandmother had a flower shop in Groesbeck. Her grandmother was a tiny little woman. Love is a tiny little woman. BTW, no one close to the family calls her “Jennifer”.
    You people don’t know Jack.
    And you don’t know Love, either.

  17. Rasputins Liver

    *

    Yeah….

    ………they certainly airbushed her, no doubt of it. But that’s pretty much the case anymore for anyone on a magazine cover these days.

    Even with a the poundage she did, or maybe still does have on, I’d still wrassle with her in the sack!

    Yes indeedy.

    *

  18. Dar

    Sie ist meine Traumfrau auch… Yum!

  19. ®usty

    mmmmmm…she could be rolled in a mountain of crap & I’d still make sweet monkey love to her.

  20. Technology is truly amazing. If they can take her fat, lazy ass and make it into something I’d consider jerking off to just imagine what the future holds. Maybe they’ll be able to move up and do something with her face.

  21. Spew

    I know Loovvveeeee spewspewspew. Who frickin cares. Your claim to fame is crapzilla.

  22. victpry

    KOCHEN!

    SACHE!

  23. Anexio

    When is this bitch going to take off all her clothes and show some pink for christ’s sake?

    Maybe it’s too late now, I dunno.

    Out

  24. chupacabra

    you know, I know every male finds her attractive with those boobs and everything, but I find her about as sexy as a dish sponge.

  25. supperficialsuckscock

    old ass photos dumbass writers. way to do your homework homos.

  26. Pilatunes

    “Still relatively famous in spite of an absolute lack of acting talent. ”

    *gasp* how can you say that after the famous ‘crabs in the trunk’ scene from ‘I know what you did last summer?’ That was some of the best acting ever.

  27. Nina

    OMG!!!!The retoucher didn’t even finish clonning the windowsill trim back to the side of her body!! Under her left arm!! Holl Crap that is bad!!

  28. Nina

    (2nd photo) OMG!!!!The retoucher didn’t even finish clonning the windowsill trim back to the side of her body!! Under her left arm!! Holl Crap that is bad!!

  29. Nina

    (2nd photo) OMG!!!!The retoucher didn’t even finish clonning the windowsill trim back to the side of her body!! Under her left arm!! Holl Crap that is bad!!

  30. Chrisine

    Nina, thats funny! Worlds worst photoshop.

  31. fuck

    So sad this is when she was just Jennifer Love Hewitt, weirdass face hotass body. Now she Jennifer Love Hugeportions weird ass aged face, nasty ass body that\’s being railed by a leprechaun doucheweasel. FAIL. FAIL. FAIL.

    How dare you have lost your hotness before even turning 30 or popping out a child, not that birthing is an excuse just that women use it as one and get all large marge and gross. I seriously think she starved the fuck out of herself to be this size. Every hot chick I know is the same size at 29 as they were at 18. She got way to fat way too quick for a natural tight and lean person. I shudder to think how she will look at 50>>>>> Kirsty Alley anyone, and then you would assume she’d go away and leave our bleeding eyes alone, but fuck no she’ll leach onto Oprah’s replacement (hopefully Oprah we’ll be gone by that because I do not want to see Oprah in 30 some years; VOMIT) and go on and on about her stinking efforts to loose weight and challenge her walrus self to get into some industrial strength “bikini” and then she’ll develop some diet products and go up and down like a fucking fatness rollercoaster. Fucking celebrities, god they suck, look hot or go home.

  32. Jayger

    Who cares if these are old. Jeebus! Totally HOT!

  33. Svenlikenstein

    Imlikenfukkinherpoopen.

  34. Taz

    i’d still hit it

  35. Clamhammer

    I love how the moulding ends where the photoshop starts in pic #2.. Fire that hack. I need a job.

  36. josh

    Older than Jesus

  37. Clamhammer

    Nina world’s worst typing, I quit after “clonning”. But if I hadn’t, good eye.

  38. stupidass

    well, this chubby here sure ain’t airbrushed

  39. Dave

    I’d Titty F her.

  40. Oliver Chester The Molester Lester

    Jamie Kennedy hits that. how I curse him so.

  41. Since no one’s bothered to mention it, the quote in the kneeling-on-the-bed photo says “I love cooking. Cooking for me is like…” (Well of *COURSE* I speak a bit of German. I’m a republican, and we’re all evil, right? Moving on…)

    I can’t make out the last word, “Sache.” Can’t find it in my handy dictionary, either, so it’s probably slang. (In French it means something like “Savior”. I started learning that after we got pantsed in the last election, because the French are good at such things) Contextually, however, she appears to use it in the sense of ‘sex’ so PROBABLY what she’s saying is “I love cooking. Cooking for me is like sex.”

    Which is probably supposed to be sexy, but pretty much all it does is explain her up-and-down weight over the last decade since America stopped caring about her.

  42. Since no one’s bothered to mention it, the quote in the kneeling-on-the-bed photo says “I love cooking. Cooking for me is like…” (Well of *COURSE* I speak a bit of German. I’m a republican, and we’re all evil, right? Moving on…)

    I can’t make out the last word, “Sache.” Can’t find it in my handy dictionary, either, so it’s probably slang. (In French it means something like “Savior”. I started learning that after we got pantsed in the last election, because the French are good at such things) Contextually, however, she appears to use it in the sense of ‘sex’ so PROBABLY what she’s saying is “I love cooking. Cooking for me is like sex.”

    Which is probably supposed to be sexy, but pretty much all it does is explain her up-and-down weight over the last decade since America stopped caring about her.

  43. She’s still fuckin’ hot

  44. Uber alles

    Eine Sache is a thing or a concept. You really don’t speak much German, do you?

  45. Deutscher

    @Repubbot or whatever

    “Ich koche gern. Kochen ist fur mich eine gute Sache.”

    I like to cook. For me, cooking is a good thing (or something I enjoy).

    Dumbass.

  46. Nameless

    Looks great in those shots.

    Too bad we really know what she looks like from her recent bikini tennis pics.

    The first pic looks like they photoshopped way too much off her waist that it looks faker than fake.

  47. dude

    dare i ask – WHERE ARE THE ASS SHOTS!!! <3

  48. Randal

    Jennifer is a beauty and she’s aged very well into the woman she is today. Ghost Whisperer remains a top 10 TV show and clearly displays her talent as a solid actress. Old pictures or not, she’s got the look and knows how to use it.

    Randal

  49. Jim

    Ha. Ha. Caption reads, “I like to cook. Cooking for me is a good thing.” Looks like it caught up to her a bit recently.

  50. dawnalex

    Ach du Lieber Himmel!

    Dress her in lederhosen and my fantasy will be complete.

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