Like any spinster worth her weight in crazy, Jennifer Love Hewitt celebrated her 30th birthday Saturday by dressing up like Audrey Hepburn and going to Tiffany’s. So, wait, senility kicks in at 30? Christ, I might as well drown myself in the bathtub. Or go to McDonald’s dressed as Humphrey Bogart. Either one.
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boo | February 22, 2009 at 2:03 pm
She only wishes she had the career of Audrey Hepburn. She is so meh.
todders | February 22, 2009 at 2:06 pm
Set down the croissant and walk away…
And check out this hilarious video about the GIRLS GONE WILD PORNO BAILOUT (but beware the man in the mustache)
http://blog.digitalfuntown.com/dft-blog/2009/2/6/larry-flints-porno-bailout.html
flabby love | February 22, 2009 at 2:12 pm
wow fat and flabby. this girl can starve her self and work out at a gym 24hrs a day but she never seems to really loose it.
jennifer lost allofit | February 22, 2009 at 2:16 pm
saddo.
g_girl | February 22, 2009 at 2:16 pm
she used to be hot, what happened to her?
scabbeus | February 22, 2009 at 2:18 pm
The bathtub may not be a bad idea since you are struggling with comedic writing.
meow | February 22, 2009 at 2:19 pm
its so freaky how comments pile up oh so quick!
Ralph | February 22, 2009 at 2:20 pm
haha greatness delirious, LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!
she´s still hot
Mama Pinkus | February 22, 2009 at 2:21 pm
She’s not crazy for doing something quirky to mark a milestone-birthday but she’s certainly insane for thinking she can pull off Audrey Hepburn.
vanessa | February 22, 2009 at 2:45 pm
i think her figure looks nice. tiny waist!
Whippet | February 22, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Why do all celebs drive that Mercedes Benz Gelandewagen? I also love it, but why do they? Oh, because they all do. Fashion, a fickle mistress…
Big J | February 22, 2009 at 3:02 pm
She looks great. Would love to get behind her big hips and work that nice rear. Make sure there is a mirror involved though so I can see that beautiful face.
maddy is a L7 | February 22, 2009 at 3:07 pm
wait didn’t she play as audrey in The Audrey Hepburn Story?
she’s done this scene before, but she was skinny… and hot… and not a tool
30 is the new crazy | February 22, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Nothing screams successful career like dressing up as someone else and inventing a reason for people to take your picture.
Pathetic Worm | February 22, 2009 at 3:11 pm
When you’re buried ears-deep in that ass, her mental state is the last thing you need to worry about.
Instead, have a panic attack over the possibilty that she might “lose her shit”.
Chelle | February 22, 2009 at 3:16 pm
I think she looks cute, although I am willing to quibble that JLH is actually dressed up like Holly Golightly.
clamman | February 22, 2009 at 3:19 pm
No, she’s 30 and has a normal body. Most jr high and hs girls are fat slobs compared to Jlove. I’m sure most of you hate just because your women are not nearly as cute all around.
poopsican | February 22, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Sooooo cute and feminine. Most women at 30 are pigs with super love handles.
kramer | February 22, 2009 at 3:22 pm
She has, and always had, a horrible sense of fashion. You’d think that she’d as least hire a stylist or something.
Jerk me Hoff | February 22, 2009 at 3:26 pm
I will say that the dress does accentuate the mounds of mammary flesh that I love to suck on. Her tits look fabulous in that dress!!!!
Balack Oboombox the socialist pig | February 22, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Holy shit! She is 30???
youngone | February 22, 2009 at 3:45 pm
All these comments cannot bury the past… it lives on in the last thread.
meow | February 22, 2009 at 3:46 pm
I miss mimi!
Bibleguy | February 22, 2009 at 3:49 pm
Rewritten it might sound like this…
Bless my soul, bless God. From head to toe, I’ll bless his holy name!
O my soul, bless God,
don’t forget a single blessing!
3-5 He forgives your sins–every one.
He heals your diseases–every one.
He redeems you from hell–saves your life!
He crowns you with love and mercy–a paradise crown.
He wraps you in goodness–beauty eternal.
He renews your youth–you’re always young in his presence.
6-18 God makes everything come out right;
he puts victims back on their feet.
He showed Moses how he went about his work,
opened up his plans to all Israel.
God is sheer mercy and grace;
not easily angered, he’s rich in love.
He doesn’t endlessly nag and scold,
nor hold grudges forever.
He doesn’t treat us as our sins deserve,
nor pay us back in full for our wrongs.
As high as heaven is over the earth,
so strong is his love to those who fear him.
And as far as sunrise is from sunset,
he has separated us from our sins.
As parents feel for their children,
God feels for those who fear him.
He knows us inside and out,
keeps in mind that we’re made of mud.
Men and women don’t live very long;
like wildflowers they spring up and blossom,
But a storm snuffs them out just as quickly,
leaving nothing to show they were here.
God’s love, though, is ever and always,
eternally present to all who fear him,
Making everything right for them and their children
as they follow his Covenant ways
and remember to do whatever he said.
19-22 God has set his throne in heaven;
he rules over us all. He’s the King!
So bless God, you angels,
ready and able to fly at his bidding,
quick to hear and do what he says.
Bless God, all you armies of angels,
alert to respond to whatever he wills.
Bless God, all creatures, wherever you are–
everything and everyone made by God.
And you, O my soul, bless God!
CandyO is BACK with a vengeance! | February 22, 2009 at 3:51 pm
I do not paste stupid pictures.
I never say nasty things about woman
This is how you will know if it is a CandyO imposter!
______________________________________________
I’m the real CandyO!
And for you to know me so
I will always speak in rhyme
I will do this every time
If my imposter tries the same
You will notice he’s to blame
For some badly written prose
Not in cadence as mine shows
Intelligence, emotion too
So please try not to misconstrue
The fakery of jerks like him
Who always leave me feeling grim
So I devised this plan today
To prove that in my heartfelt way
You will always truly know
This post was made by CandyO!
casualencounters.com/blog/ | February 22, 2009 at 3:54 pm
There is NO WAY she eats that croissant and drinks that coffee. NO WAY. (Unless it’s, you know, ALL SHE EATS that day.)
Mr. Sticky | February 22, 2009 at 3:56 pm
I would do anything in the world to make love to this woman. She is the most beautiful creature in the entire world. I am secretly trying to become a millionaire so I can ask her out. When I see her on TV I get all shaky and jittery. My tongue starts making circles on the roof of my mouth uncontrollably. I want to lay her down and perform oral sex on her for 3 hours. Every woman I have ever been with, I am pretending it is Jen. She is the only Goddess in Hollywood. The other no talent hacks aren’t fit to carry Jen’s luggage.
Concerned Human | February 22, 2009 at 3:58 pm
CandyO are you ok?
Casey | February 22, 2009 at 4:08 pm
Who is she kidding? She’s about three times the size of Audrey Hepburn.
betty | February 22, 2009 at 4:25 pm
I think she is the most sexy celebrity, so there are so many men are talking about her at ____MillionaireLoving. C O M____ forum, they are interested in posting her naked photos and private news.
Dave | February 22, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Don’t care how batsh*t crazy she is. She’s hot.
ashley | February 22, 2009 at 4:36 pm
her fat is like oozing out of her gloves.. that’s disgusting.
Clay | February 22, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Not only do I still find her very attractive and would still “hit it,” I’d also marry her too.
I did, however see her on the Tonight Show last week and was mildly let down. She is a notorious fan of not exercising and essentially said as much by admitting she couldn’t do a single “real” pushup.
But damn, I love them boobies.
timmy the dying boy | February 22, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Senile or not, I’d be all over that like a twenty dollar suit, oh yes I surely would.
azalea | February 22, 2009 at 4:44 pm
#32: WTF are you talking about?!?
Teddy | February 22, 2009 at 4:51 pm
she looks hot !!!I would do her for sure! those boobs are bangin’ you know what I’m sayin”? she maybe crazy but I love that shit ahhaha
Provocative Girl | February 22, 2009 at 4:57 pm
ok, maybe it’s a little weird or just because i love breakfast at tiffany’s but i totally would dress up like audrey and go to tiffany’s for my 30th!
sin | February 22, 2009 at 5:02 pm
She never was “hot”. she just has kinda big tits that she will not show.
anthonyOA | February 22, 2009 at 5:02 pm
dude. you and i both know she threw that dry old baguette away and replaced it with a krispy kreame once the paparazzi left.
Delgo | February 22, 2009 at 5:21 pm
She can do 10 push ups.
One for each tv dinner.
theSuperfticialWriter | February 22, 2009 at 5:26 pm
I apologize for nasty comments on this site but I am not responsible.
Side Song | February 22, 2009 at 5:32 pm
This girl is annoying – but Pink isn’t -
find out the best idea for Pink’s future tour and expert remixer Bimbo Jones.
How they could and should collaborate for nightly after parties.
lifeanthem.com
AirMail | February 22, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Happy Birthday Jennifer! Get yourself something nice. Have faith that you will meet a better guy.
theSuperfticialWriter | February 22, 2009 at 5:41 pm
I am going to BAN anyone pretending to be me!
theSuperfticialWriter | February 22, 2009 at 5:43 pm
I LOVE Amy Winehouse!
Dudley | February 22, 2009 at 5:47 pm
She looks like she’s got midget arms
Dudley | February 22, 2009 at 5:55 pm
But I’m an asshole, so what do I know?
Nwambe | February 22, 2009 at 6:06 pm
She’s still hot IMO. The fact that she can even pull off the Audrey Hepburn thing just makes me want her more, quite frankly.
ohhh, JLH. When will you(r rack) and I be one?
Nwambe | February 22, 2009 at 6:31 pm
BTW… Jesus loves me! (not Madonna’s Jesus)
sin | February 22, 2009 at 7:04 pm
Hey, the real theSuperfticialWriter, go ahead. We don’t care. There are thousands of other websites we can go to. If you want to stop some of the dialogue here, stop posting stupid, irrelevant stories.
By the way, is it true you are gay and have the hots for that other Madden boy?
That seems to be the only reason to put pictures of that loser here.