Jennifer Lopez is concerned that a plot may be afoot to kidnap her newborn twins. Her husband Marc Anthony made sure security is tight at North Shore University Hospital, according to Life & Style:
The hospital reportedly stepped up its security drills, which involve locking down the hospital in case a baby is kidnapped or otherwise vanishes. “They practiced the alerts twice a week in early February,” says a staffer. “That definitely had to do with J.Lo.”
“Babies have been kidnapped before,” a friend notes. “Jennifer had obvious concerns about security.”
Who would want to steal J-Lo’s offspring? Either the government for some crazy X-Files shit. Or Ben Affleck. Yeah, that’s right, I said it: Ben motherfucking Affleck. He might look all innocent but that guy has baby-stealer written all over him. I saw Daredevil. He’s capable of some seriously messed up stuff. I’m blowing this case wide open!
UPDATE: Jennifer Garner just kicked down my cubicle and continually karate chopped me in the groin. I retract my comments about Ben Affleck. Also – no, I can’t say it. Don’t make me! *nad chop* Okay! Daredevil should’ve won an Oscar! Are you happy? Oh, God, I feel so dirty. I’ll never get over this. I – Ooh! Who brought donuts?