Jennifer Lopez training for triathlon

August 18th, 2008 // 72 Comments

These are shots of Jennifer Lopez training for the upcoming Nautica Malibu Triathlon. J-Lo is competing to raise money for Children’s Hospital of LA which means she’s practically the Unabomber, according to Roseanne Barr logic. Judging by these photos, I can only assume the triathlon consists of pretending to asphyxiate in a comical fashion, emphasizing the size of your breasts and heavily contemplating if you can fit your ass into a bathing suit. Never before have all of Jennifer Lopez’s talents been so fiercely put to the test.

Photos: Splash News
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  1. Gab

    goodluck!

  2. Sam

    Must be that new spandex with the metal alloy fibers.

  3. Duke Nukem

    Hopefully the triathlon is about a year from now. She’s going to need that long to switch over her training routine from “indenting permanent buttocks-shaped mark in couch” and “scarfing doritos and ice cream” to something more closely resembling exercise.

  4. Ted Kennedy's tumor

    Birthing has not been kind to her hips. What is up with that dyke in photo# 1? is she making the claw hands to show how she would hold on to J-Lo’s hips while she munched the carpet?

  5. Triathalon? What… Dunk, Bite, Chew?

  6. mm

    Great, another fat ass mom thinking she can finish a triathlon…
    She’ll fit right in…

  7. miggs

    I can smell her yeast infection.

  8. rough daddy

    wheres the ass shot?

  9. Nicole

    JUST ANOTHER WAY FOR HER TO PRETEND TO DO GOOD FOR CHARITY AND GET ATTENTION SINCE SHE HAS NO TALENT WHATSOEVER.

  10. I’d like to poke her in the pooper.

  11. rough daddy

    boy is she annoying, ill be her voice will ruin a perfectly good erection…

  12. Ed Castillo

    strawberry assaliciousnes!

  13. Possibly the single biggest no-talent “celeb” ever.

  14. Candy

    A Typical Lopez triathlon:

    1. Scrub toilet
    2. Change daycare diaper
    3. Cook dinner for White people

  15. okay losers

    Normally I’m all over celebrity bashing, but some of these comments are just stupid. Whether she is actually talented or has an annoying voice is subjective. Everyone has their own opinion on that. The fact is she has been very successful whether or not you agree with the source of her success. She looks awesome for just having popped out twins not too long ago. Also, isn’t every athletic event, whether it be walks, runs or triathalons, for charity? Haters.

  16. John Rocketfella

    Pic #6 looks like she just soiled herself

  17. fatass lopez

    She should be thrown in jail for wearing spandex

  18. JPRichardson

    Jen is some 25 lbs away from being back in form, but still is a very cute girl. Love you , girl!

  19. hoochie

    Puerto Ricans and tight clothes are an ugly combination

  20. Bland Ambition

    Who the hell trains for a triathalon in full makeup, including fake lashes?????

  21. Bland Ambition

    Who the hell trains for a triathalon in full makeup, including fake lashes?????

  22. Bland Ambition

    Who the hell trains for a triathalon in full makeup, including fake lashes?????

  23. JLo is a pig

    JLo is a pig, a stupid mindless sow that needs to be butchered.

  24. kevtha

    she almost makes me forget about tacos!

  25. Randal

    Hey there Jennifer! Long time! Sorry for not being around for you, I’ve had PC issues and was pretty much down for a whole month.

    Just wanted to say you’re looking great, even in more shape from the last time we saw each other. You’re running for a great cause and continue to shine.

    Still lovin’ ya! xoxo

    Randal

  26. Jamie's Uterus

    Looks like the movie roles and various projects are pretty scarce, so she is reduced to doing this. I love it. She’ll be the next Kirstie Alley and start hawking Jenny Craig, lose weight, gain weight over and over…

    It looks like her career is officially over. Yahoo! Maybe this disgusting vile sorry ass bitch will just go away.

  27. THAT_GIRL_JENN

    FOR YEARS SHE HAS CONVINCED US HER BODY WAS DECENT LOOKING, WOW WHAT MAKE UP, CLOTHES, LIGHTING, AND PHOTOSHOP DO FOR SOMEONE.

  28. Dr. John Blackheart

    Pic 1. JLO is saying: Mark Anthony is a tiny bitch, I’m more muscular than him
    Pic 2. I’ve tried to choke myself instead of fucking Mark A.
    Pic 3. He has man boobs, like mine
    Pic 4. I bet I could stuff that mother fucker in this bag
    Pic 5 Damn girl his dick is TYYYYYYYYNI( w/ Puerto Rican accent)
    Pic 6 ” “This is what my face looks like when he fucks me.
    Pic7Smiling Bob Next to her says: Not to worry bitch, I got’s the big fucker fo ya. This big < -------------------------------------------------------------------------------> : ) Kabooza
    Pic 8: she replies: I need to be stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey, PULL THAT SHIT OUT RIGHT NOW!!!!!! JLO Needs dick. JLO PIMP

  29. Some women are butterfaces.
    She’s an onlyerface.

  30. michele

    Wow she look misshapen!

  31. hideous ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

    UGH fucking god awful, this woman has always disgusted me. She’s so needy she’s been married three times and it’s so fucking obvious that she had to settle for anorexic rat faced mark anthony cause no one would marry her giant fat ass. She’s looking even worse now of course since she’s birthed invitro fertility treatment twins just like all the other idiot old ass celebrity women who no one wanted until they managed to force some poor bastard to stay with them. Her body was always hideous and it’s even more so now. And don’t feel bad for her, she’s one of the biggest bitches on the planet, she demands to live like a fucking queen, she’s a husband beater you can bet her fat ass on that, she wears fur and you can just tell that she whines and nags more than any fat ass woman on the planet.

  32. Randal

    Hey there Jennifer! I thought I’d take this opportunity to virtually chat up a celebrity that wouldn’t urinate on me if I were on fire, because in reality I am embedded in my couch and need assistance to wipe my ass, let alone run a triathlon. Hell, I can’t even see my schlong, much less use it. Still, there is a slim chance that my faux familiarity with pop icons will impress one of the Fish faithful. I’ll bet SueMe is diggin’ me right about now.

    Later babe!

    Your gay pal,

    Randal

  33. boss

    ill let her sit on my face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She still HOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ill do ANYTHING to her..

  34. grossssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

    Suddenly I have no desire to ever eat a pear again. Fucking nasty. You can always measure a woman’s bitchiness by the size of her ass. This is because women’s bitch cells are kept in their asses. The bigger the ass the more depressed they are because they know they’re nasty so the bitch cells just multiple like crazy. Of course women with no asses are fridgid brecause you need a little bitchiness to be hot in the sack and to make men fall to their knees. As a woman with a fine little ass i know what I’m talking about.

    Poor marc Anthony. Family Guy got it wrong, that scene with John Goodman eating so much while his starving kids and wife sat there asking for a little food, really should have been J-Lo eating all the food while Mark whimpered “please My Queen Majesty of the universe Hottest Woman Alive” (then he barfs a little in his mouth after uttering the name she makes him call her). “please can I have alittle food” he says as his emaciated body lies chained to the wall. “No Ben, I need this food, you can have some next week when you get your weekly feeding (which comes from her ass” and he replies “Okay darling, but my name is Mark” . Tragic.

  35. Drewkkdrew

    She looks a little fat this time? What happend? I’m surprised that her sexy photos are still up at Richromances.com, where many celebritis and beautiful people are looking

  36. hennifer lopezzz

    Why is she wearing a microphone to train for a triathlon? (look at pic #6, the one with the REALLY unfortunate face)

  37. lawrence

    #36. STFU with the Richromances.com shit, lawrence! No one cares!

    Does anyone edit this fucking site?

  38. She looks so bad in that thing!

  39. rachel

    Dude, you’re awesome.

    “which means she’s practically the Unabomber, according to Roseanne Barr logic. ”

    Marry me.

  40. ella

    can she fucking get any uglier?

  41. debbie

    A Triathlon – are you kidding me?????? This girl grew up in the Bronx – did she even learn how to swim- and where – at the public pool??????? What a joke.

    Actually, this is the first time I have ever seen any press whatsoever on J-Ho doing anything for a charity. More still, it’s to raise money. Has she ever given any of her own money to help others or given directly to charity??? No wonder her career is in the toilet…..for a girl raised Catholic ,she certainly doesn’t give back to her community. Ain’t God getting back at you a bitch?

  42. Raqs

    Well she’s a bit overweight but I’m sure soon she’s going to return to her old body shape!!!!!!!

  43. Raqs

    Well she’s a bit overweight but I’m sure soon she’s going to return to her old body shape!!!!!!!

  44. James

    Not one butt shot? Come on. What’s up with that?

  45. candy is a moron

    why do white people need other people to cook dinner for them? so NEEDY.

  46. They wright about it in VOGUE?

  47. FACE

    Comment #14 hit it right on the head. This bitch is almost totally useless – just good for fucking that fat ass. She whored herself out to P Diddy to get famous.

  48. veggi

    I’m so sick of these mother fuckin hispanics…running in our marathons, breathing up all our air, giving back to our charities. just plain bullshit. if i had her money I would use it to nuke all the people of the world who aren’t white, poor, and moronic like me and candy.

    candy – if you’re white, I’d love to have a few beers with you, drill you in the ass, and go to a Jerry Fallwell convention afterwards. fuck yea!

  49. Nicole

    Hey #42 – you’re right.

    Until just two years ago, J Lo never gave to charity. But, the public viewed her as a “bitch” and “diva” and therefore, she hired another publicist specifically to make her seem nicer to the public. This publicist convinced J Lo that she needs to do charitable events in order to make her personality more “positive.”

    J Lo has been quoted saying that she does not want to give to charity.

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