Jennifer Lopez thinks you’re an idiot

November 8th, 2007 // 109 Comments
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Jennifer Lopez confirmed her pregnancy during a concert in Miami last night and the crowd went insane at the announcement. Even her husband Marc Anthony was surprised. He didn’t think she was going to talk and reveal their secret. They were hiding it so well. People reports:

Lopez thanked the audience for the applause and said, “We are happy, too.” She then turned sideways to reveal her profile and show off her very noticeable bump. She also playfully stuck out her tongue.

Oh, you’re a sneaky one, Jennifer Lopez. You totally had us fooled. Talk about diabolical. Fortunately for you it’s completely normal for an accomplished dancer to start waddling on stage because of a sudden increase in weight. Particularly in the stomach area. Yeah, that happens all the time – to pregnant chicks! I swear to God the next celebrity that tries to playfully deny she’s having a kid is getting a surprise sonogram from me. Except it won’t be sexy like my business card promises. Okay, maybe just a little. Gotta keep things professional.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Chad

    First son!

  2. Bigheadmike

    How stupid do we look??? Dumb clam head.

  3. Who is the father??

  4. Hazy

    What on earth is she wearing

  5. Mdiz

    Thats a huge bitch!

  6. Mdiz

    Thats a huge bitch!

  7. Kris

    Shut up and fart out your kid[s] already.

  8. AmeriCanadian

    Greaaaaaaat….more $cientology $pawn to enslave all of us. James Cameron had it all wrong, won’t be machines that kill us / take over the world, it’ll be the Cult of $cientology!

  9. DA

    I’d like to cover the little beaner’s head with my hot jiz.

  10. Clem

    Who gives a shight if someone you don’t know is preganant? Seriously, who the hell cares?
    Right now the only thing to be said is that at least her front is more in line proportionally with her back.

  11. Dawn

    #9 You are a racist pig.

  12. pissy skank

    ugh. spawn of satan.

  13. mr happy pants

    hmmm……..I wonder who the father is? I know it can’t be that limp dick closet fag marc anthony!!!! Man, I would so want to baste her big ol’ ham with some of my awesome man gravy…………………….oh yeah………….my HOT MAN GRAVY!!!!!!

  14. Winner of the Race

    #11 I am as well and so are you, hypocrite, we all are.

  15. I hate JLo

    A couple of years ago, I watched a PETA video of dogs and cats being skinned alive in China to make JLo’s stupid clothing line, Cutsyface or whatever stupid shit name she had picked out. I’ve hated the sadistic bitch ever since. The last thing the world needs is JLo’s sadistic spawn introduced into it.

    If God exists, he should prove it by taking out this whole family in an accident.

  16. veggi

    @15- are you serious? jezzzzus! Please say you made that up..

  17. steve

    I never leave serious comments on here, unitl today.

    It is NOT good for babies in utero to be subjected to the loud sounds of a concert. Let alone on stage, over and over again. they respond to the outside noises of the world, and all that bass and drums is gonna leave that kid with serious neurological/psychotic issues.

    Yeah, we all knew that would happen anyway considering the parents, but they’re gonna be even worse. Poor little jumpy, neurotic kid.

  18. PunkA

    I just thought that her huge ass was taking up residence in her stomach cuz it needed the extra space. Who knew?

  19. Riotboy

    So what, baby Skeletor is coming.

  20. It’d be hilarious if she’s singing in her concert and one of the fans in the front row points up and shouts out “hey you’ve got some salsa on your pants” and it turns out it’s the fetus dribbling out.

  21. @15 Yeah, that’s the ticket. JLo’s clothing line is made out of dog and cat skin! You are on crack. They eat dogs and cats not wear them..

  22. #4 My shower curtains.

    #20, fuck off you disgusting assed TROLL!!! God you make me sick. You really need to get some help.

  23. Mick Vick

    No, it’s true:

    “Undercover investigators from Swiss Animals Protection East/International spent the past year investigating fur farms in China’s Hebei Province and found that many animals, including dogs and foxes, are still alive and struggling desperately when workers flip them onto their backs or hang them up by their legs or tails to skin them. When workers on these farms begin to cut the skin and fur from an animal’s leg, the free limbs kick and writhe. Workers stomp on the necks and heads of animals who, fighting for their lives, struggle too hard to allow for a clean cut. When the fur is finally peeled off over the animals’ heads, their naked, bloody bodies are thrown onto a pile of those who have gone before them. Some are still alive, breathing in ragged gasps and blinking slowly. Some of the animals’ hearts are still beating five to 10 minutes after they are skinned. One investigator recorded a skinned raccoon dog on the heap of carcasses who had enough strength to lift his bloodied head and stare into the camera, with only his eyelashes still intact.

    Before they are skinned alive, animals are pulled from their cages and slammed against the ground; workers bludgeon them with metal rods, causing broken bones and convulsions but not always immediate death. Animals watch helplessly as workers make their way down the row.”

  24. dave

    I would so fuck her while she is wearing those boots.

  25. Rick

    #20 FRIST – yeah, and then her husband jumps onstage and starts sucking on the crotch of her pants.

  26. Good Morning FRIST You have mail

  27. #17, probably what caused my troll’s “issues” as well.

  28. scooby

    who is this loser again that I should care?

  29. [Xenu]

    that’s gonna be one big taco fart

  30. Karen

    Marc Anthony is trying to figure out what type of wine goes well with placenta.

  31. veggi

    Alright…. who the fuck goes to see these two??..

    and her ass shot with the spandex shorts is fucking hell-arious!!!!..

  32. Miss Random

    Coming Soon…. J Lo’s new clothing line for knocked up bitches from the block:

    Forget fuzzy kittens & scruffy puppies, the latest in maternity wear comes from Jenny’s most elegant curtains & bed clothes…. Not just for home decor anymore!

  33. mORNIN jIMBO, HEY vEGGI

    Damn capslock was on, sorry

  34. IHateJenniferLopez

    The only things remotely as scary as this thing’s future spawn are:
    a) people think she has talent of any sort and
    b) those pictures of this greasy cow in hideous outfits ‘performing’ on stage

  35. sportsdvl

    The only scary part of this story is the thought of these 2 ugly, no talented, divas having sex and then some demon-spawn kid.

    This bitch barely has more talent than Jessica Simpson and she certainly doesn’t have the tits – why are these idiots famous? Who the hell buys their products?

    oh, #1 – yep, still a loser for being happy about being first.

  36. Jim

    Who goes to see these two? Have you ever watched Univision? A guy walks out in an oversized bowtie and pretends to be cross-eyed and the audience bursts out laughing. Don’t get me started about the guy dressed as a bee. These people truly are tards.

  37. Good Morning FRIST. I see your troll was up before you this morning..

  38. BeerBelly

    And I thought she had a beer belly. I’ll bet she needs lotsa beer to get lubed for sex with Marc.

  39. Not up before me just beat me to the fish..

    Fucking nutcase, that one..

  40. Asshole even used me mySpace link..

  41. Shallo Val

    “Accomplished Dancer?”

    Pphffsh! Yeah, ok! You mean, mediocre at everything but outstanding at marketing herself.

  42. @ #21:
    Hi Jimbo, you mindless fuckbrained turd. I couldn’t find the specific PETA video I saw, but this should do. Go ahead and click the link, you piece of shit.

    @ #16:
    Yes Veggi, I was you’re newest troll but now I’m your ex-troll and I’m Jimbo’s newest troll. I’m serious, and very angry at Jimbo the shithead. You can watch the video too. Jimbo is probably too much of a gutless coward to watch.

  43. Hey Jimbo, this is part of a new one, but I think it’s a run-on sentence, maybe I should rewrite it. What do you think?

    “I worked on Jimbo’s cock with my mouth then bent down to lick his balls which made him jump and I laughed as I took him back into my mouth and sucked him more vigorously until he arched his legs up and I knew he was going to spurt hot semen inside my mouth. “

  44. Jimbo is a stupid fucking turd

    From time to time, I’ll be finding and posting animal skinning videos and linking to them with Jimbo the fuckbrain’s name.

  45. @42 You so funny. How about we skin you and turn you into underware you worthless pussy..

  46. Dawn

    #14 You are right. Greasy nasty mexican lawn keepers.

  47. Jimboioioioioioioioioioioingggggggo

    LMAO@43. but def. a run-on sentence

  48. @44 Fuck you. Get a life you crack whore..

  49. JimboAndTroll

    It appears that Jimbo and his troll should get together and have sex while watching animals get skinned videos. Why not make a video while doing what you do watching that video and post it on YouTube. I should of bought stock in YouTube.

  50. my comment

    So glad this biatch ain’t my mother.

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