Jennifer Lopez scared for her life

May 10th, 2007 // 66 Comments

Jennifer Lopez has allegedly increased security because an animal-rights activist has been sending her letters threatening “‘to kill her in public, just like the slaughtered animals whose fur she wears.”

The source says J.Lo initially dismissed the notes, which have been arriving for a month, as lunatic junk mail. But husband Marc Anthony isn’t taking the matter lightly. “He has hired two off-duty police officers, in addition to her usual security team, to watch over Lopez whenever she makes public appearances,” says the pal.

What if this guy showed up one day wearing a J.Lo outfit? And I don’t mean some outfit designed by her, I mean an actual dead Jennifer Lopez turned into an outfit. I think that’d be pretty ironic. Like the time I saved the President’s life by having sex with a gang of hot cheerleader assassins until they died from exhaustion. I’m not actually sure what ‘ironic’ means, I just wanted to tell that story. That true story, I might add.



  1. LolitochkaBC

    ?????-?? ??????? ????????!!

    ????????????? ?????????? ? ????????? ????? ))))

    ??? ?? ?????? ?????? ???? ??????!

  2. Shit happens, then you die.

  3. Wow Just Wow

    Who cares about Jblow?

    check out this awesome sculpture of Paris by the artist who did Britney giving birth! LOL

    Paris Hilton sculpture shows heiress in deadly pose-

  4. That Russian fucker beat me to number one.
    Oh well, we beat them to the moon.

    Take that comrade.

  5. N!k!

    That sux! But what really sux is that you readers are crazy!!! One of you copy and pasted my URL from myspace and are leaving comments with it. NICE!

  6. LadyJane

    That. Is. Awesome.

  7. Phazon

    She won’t be missed.

  8. Mmmmm I think it sucks that people kill animals for their fur, but still… she´s not the one killing the animals, I wouldn´t kill her, just the usual you know… throwing paint at her fur coat and totally ruining it.

    That would be awesome.

  9. N!k!

    Um Excuse me Mister #4 do you win something by being First? Cus everybody claims that shit and its lame!

  10. YouRang

    If I only had a dollar for every time I fucked a gang of cheerleaders to death. The gas powered dildo gets um every time.

  11. #1… What does he said anyway? :-/

  12. BarbadoSlim

    Hope they skin her alive.

    I mean, her ass alone has enough leather for the interiors of next years entire run Cadillac Escalades….. and a couch.

    She should appreciate the irony of that.

  13. Phazon

    Offtopic: Check out this article on Digg.

    “Paris Hilton is too beautiful for jail, says Paris Hilton.”

  14. Captain America

    J-Lo is an animal, so why wear fur? Isn’t there some law of the jungle you know like, bash in another creatures skull with a rock & eat their brains is totally cool but wearing their hide crosses the line? Something like that? I need to brush up on my Doctor Doolittle.

  15. p0nk

    She pissed off all the animal-rights fanatics when she married that roadkill.


  17. wedge1

    It must have been quite a moment when Marc Anthony walked into the plastic surgeon’s office and said “I want my eyes to look like 2 anuses!”

  18. YouRang

    #18 Fucking Hilarious!

  19. The Squizz

    JLo smells like piss.

  20. CNN

    “Today Jennifer Lopez was stabbed in the ass 27 times by an animal rights extremist. Lopez failed to notice the attack. She was taken to the hospital only when her husband Marc Anthony was observed frantically moving his mouth from puncture to puncture.”

  21. gaygaygaygaygay

    Fucking insane eco-terrorist PETArds.

  22. lambman

    Oh animal rights activists….lol

    I wish other activists would be that insane, like Rosie O’Donnel would threaten to eat Bush if he didn’t legalize gay marriage. And since she’s COULD do it in one bite he caves in, until somebody explains what she meant by bush.

  23. jrzmommy♠

    I just loved the warped reasoning of animal rights activists….they’re right up there with Abortion Clinic Bombers.

  24. tits_on_snack

    J-Ho sucks and all, but fucking animal rights activists are looney toons and need to be wiped off the planet already. The president of PETA said nobody should even own pets, because it’s animal enslavement.
    The Animal Liberation Front fucking sends letters to little kids in the mail, telling them that they’re going to kill their parents for allowing medical testing on lab rats. They stalk families involved in medical practice, and then leave them messages detailing their events of the day and how they watched them take their kids to school, drive to the 7-eleven, etc. They bomb people’s cars, offices.
    My favourite was when they let a bunch of pigs loose from a farm in the UK – half the pigs ran out into the roads and got ran over, and the other half ran right back into the barn.

  25. tinyTy

    “JLo smells like piss” I’m thinking it’s Marc Anthony zombie jizz

  26. Jimbo ?

    @1 I completely agree with you. This is such a boring ass story. who gives a shit! Who cares? Fuck Jlo and her ass eyed husband the little puny fuck!! And who gives a shit about Peta! I think I will go out and buy a big ass fur coat and wear it to the next Peta meeting. Fuck them too!!!

  27. BarbadoSlim

    @25 & 26 as much as I get where you’re coming from, I just can’t find fault with any reasoning that allows for J-ho getting splattered all over some sidewalk.

  28. The Squizz

    PETA chicks don’t give head. Something about putting meat in their mouth.

  29. metaphor

    #1 Is that how you say first in Russian?

  30. dumbphuck

    #18 was fucking LOL

  31. jrzmommy♠

    Slim….no doubt about it….but on a scale of 1 to Hate, PETA is at Abhor. JLO is at about Incredibly Irritated By

  32. MrSemprini

    This is a great opportunity to make Bodyguard 2 with J-Lo and also starring John Ratzenberg as a tough-as-nails cop that she fall is love with after he drugs her with Rohypnol. And, shoots her husband. With a crossbow. A magic crossbow of Marc Anthony Slaying. And, he’s my father.

    True story…

  33. kamihi

    I hate this fake fur wearing bitch Oooh what pure justice if she was killed by an animal rights activist, I would be having a few to celebrate that for sure. BITCH.

  34. metaphor

    Animal rights are one thing but I think she should die for her movies alone. They are a crime against humanity.

  35. kamihi

    I mean fake and fur wearing not fake fur wearing cos obviously I would love her then. ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVISM RULES target those bastards and pick them off one by one – I am all for it.

  36. FRIST!!!

    OMG, I must’ve taken too many percocets this morning…I can’t read what #1 said!!! What’s wrong with my eyes??!!!???

  37. tinyTy

    Did anyone else see that news story about the vegans that malnourished their 6 weeks old baby to death? It was 3.5 pounds. They gave it soy milk and apple juice. You know they Peta members.

  38. Victor

    Jennifer can come here live with me and I would take total care of her. I would beat the monkey looking man of hers with my dick, then give the final knock out with my ball sack.

  39. FRIST!!!

    #40, are you really Cisco Adler??? Come on, admit it

  40. YouRang

    I think #40 might be the Todd from Scrubs, only more depraved and a case of Tourette’s.

  41. arden

    She looks gorgeous, but she doesn’t look that happy anymore. And . . . are the sleeves on her dress badly unbalanced?

  42. FRIST!!!

    What does she see in that guy??!!?? He’s freaking HIDEOUS!!! He looks like some kind of alien vampire zombie.

  43. Pikachelsea

    PETA is the ultimate hypocritical organization. Yeah, let’s save animals by… threatening the welfare of human beings, which are also animals! PETA sucks because they shove all these cute cuddly images of puppies in your face and get the sympathy vote from overweight moms with 40 cats, when in reality they want to ban zoos, circuses, the entire meat industry, pets, and even GUIDE DOGS. There is no logic involved in anything they do. Freaking self-righteous goons are probably a bunch of furries. Go get humped by a horse and die already.

  44. KoRneY

    He looks like a mexican zombie.

  45. MrSemprini

    #34, you are the SNOOBS, man!


    Her times up no one cares about her anymore.
    shes a twat.

  47. Jafoo

    Finally an animal rights protest I can totally get behind.

  48. Lowlands

    Maybe this activist doesn’t know the Bonobo next to her is in fact Mark Anthony?

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