Jennifer Lopez scared for her life


Jennifer Lopez has allegedly increased security because an animal-rights activist has been sending her letters threatening “‘to kill her in public, just like the slaughtered animals whose fur she wears.”

The source says J.Lo initially dismissed the notes, which have been arriving for a month, as lunatic junk mail. But husband Marc Anthony isn’t taking the matter lightly. “He has hired two off-duty police officers, in addition to her usual security team, to watch over Lopez whenever she makes public appearances,” says the pal.

What if this guy showed up one day wearing a J.Lo outfit? And I don’t mean some outfit designed by her, I mean an actual dead Jennifer Lopez turned into an outfit. I think that’d be pretty ironic. Like the time I saved the President’s life by having sex with a gang of hot cheerleader assassins until they died from exhaustion. I’m not actually sure what ‘ironic’ means, I just wanted to tell that story. That true story, I might add.