Jennifer Lopez joins the nutsos

December 7th, 2006 // 110 Comments
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Jennifer Lopez is so desperate to have a child she’s turning to Scientology. She’s reportedly using their “cleansing process” as recommended to her by her friend Leah Remini, also a devoted Scientologist.

“When a Scientologist says ‘purified’ or ‘cleansed,’ what they’re talking about is the purification rundown,” says Rick Ross of Cultnews.com, “which usually involves large doses of niacin, ingesting cooking oil and a regimen of saunas which some say could cause liver damage. So not only is it unlikely to produce the results that J. Lo is hoping for, but it may hurt her.”

Wow really? A baby? With this guy? If they’re really that desperate they should just dig up some graveyards. Because whatever comes out of that womb is gonna end up half-zombie anyway.

superficial

  1. I hope the freak gets his nose…

    Anyway, you know why I think Tom and Katie’s baby has never been seen in public except for the “photoshoot” in the mag…

    I think its bc TomKat’s REAL baby is highly radiated from the ultrasound machine that they werent supposed to use in-home…

    Look at their kid, I morphed my face with a friends face at COSI in 5th grade… What makes you think they didnt have it done for the “photoshoot”…

    Scientologists are fuckin wiley…

    anyway, hope I failed to make sense…

    -Jess

  2. j

    i am sick to death of this has bin washed up hoe. the only reason she is with mark anthony is because her career is washed up and he makes a great meal ticket because he unlike her has talent! now she wants to go into scientology? she is the most pathetic thing in the world and marc anthony took a step down when he chose to be with her.

  3. beifiori

    Jess, I still believe Scientology sprouted a tom look-alike, extracted his sperm and knocked ol’ katie up. I will never believe that he fathered that child, nooo way. uh uh. hell I don’t even believe he and katie get it on ha ha! that’s a laugh!

  4. Shelley Bonnechance

    Drinking cooking oil? That’s supposed to cleanse the body? Seems like all she’s going to get out of that is high cholesterol and really runny poo.

    She’s looking really beautiful, though. Gorgeous dress. Pretty hair. Very ladylike and MUCH DIFFERENT than the pictures we’ve been seeing of other coked up, stumbling drunk, coochie-showing celebrities in the past couple of weeks. It disturbs me that she could look so normal, yet still be considering Scientology to be the answer to her problems.

    That Mark Anthony, though. Whewwwww. Maybe their fertility problem lies with him. Can a man produce healthy swimmers when he’s that gaunt and malnourished? That poor dude looks like he lives on a diet of heroin, black coffee and cigarettes. Or maybe the blood of unsuspecting pedestrians as they stroll through the cemetery at night.

  5. Pointandlaugh

    I still cannot comprehend WHAT she sees in Skeletor-face.

  6. KelKel

    Those creepy scientologists FREAK me out…stay away Jennifer! Just get rid of your troll and find a good looking guy to procreate with.

  7. LOL #104

    Agreed. :-P

  8. menda67

    She looks adorable,all bad comments about her look are just ENVY!

  9. wow, why doesn’t she just douche?

  10. WakeUpWorld

    I’m a Scientologist and I’ll tell you that this crazy story about Xenu is total crap. Some people in the press keep saying that this Xenu story is what Scientologists believe. This is such garbage and it’s a story repeated over and over and is intended to keep people from looking into what Scientology actually is. So why would some in the media intentionally try and keep people away from Scientology you ask? Because most media is well paid by the pharmaceutical industry. They see Scientology as a threat to their profits because it is. Scientology has many, many answers that work and are practical. Let’s look at 1 example of how the psychiatric drugging industry is hurt by Scientology technology… Let’s assume you know someone who has been depressed for several months or even years. Did you know that with Scientology you can literally snap him out of his dark days and make him feel happy again, sometimes in less than five minutes. How could this be? Because Scientology helps and works like nothing else before it. There is no need to be on a psychiatric drug everyday for the rest of your life. This is just one of thousands of solutions Scientology has and it would take literally books to tell you all it has to offer and can do. Give a Scientologist just a few minutes of your time and you’ll quickly realize what a sham psychiatry and the psychiatric drugging business is. It’s OK to be skeptical about Scientology, but don’t assume that what you’ve been told about it is actually true. Just ask yourself would all these celebrities be involved in it if didn’t help them and others tremendously?

    HTTP://WWW.WHATISSCIENTOLOGY.ORG

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