Jennifer Lopez is having twins

February 6th, 2008 // 82 Comments

If you’re like me, you spend every waking moment wondering just how many fetuses Jennifer Lopez is carrying in her J-uterus. Now we can all finally sleep, my friends, as her father confirms just how many babies will be popping out. People reports:

“Yes, twins,” her dad David Lopez said in an interview on the Spanish-language show Escándalo TV, PEOPLE en Español reports. “The thing is in my family, my sister also had twins, so it’s a hereditary thing.”

Double the Skeletor-babies. Double the fun. That’s what I always say.*

*Other phrases I always say: “Don’t worry I’m sterile.”; “Officer, this is prescription whiskey.”; “Jumanji!”

Photos: Bauer-Griffin
superficial

  1. Perry

    Could be some odd looking kids if they have skinny assed face and her not so skinny ass

  2. Heroiny

    2 for the price of 1 ejaculate.

  3. gotmilk?

    are lip injections really a good idea while pregnant? well i guess it doesn’t matter since the babies are going to be half zombie-half raging bitch diva. oh & don’t forget ugly.

    IVF, anyone?

  4. regis

    no, not twins…just a big ol butt…..

  5. God that guy is ugly. And who is that chick on the left?

  6. just wondering

    twins of evil!!!! Don’t know which would be more scary. 2 mini versions of daddy, or 2 mini versions of mommy.

    Then again, could be one of each…and mixed genes and what is inherited could be interesting. I’m sure they will be on the cover of some magazine paying them millions of $$$ for the first “family picture”

  7. Jennifer

    I am just a bit curious…Her profile was found on millionaire dating site ‘BillionaireCupid.com’ last week. I heard she just broke up with her boyfriend! I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site!

  8. ROFL hereditary? that doesn’t make any sense and if he was joking it’s not funny lolz

  9. just wondering

    Maybe she will birth them just like the movie “Alien”…that would be awesome…the little fellas would rip out of her gut and adhere to the face of their daddy. Definate image improvement for him I would say.

  10. billiam

    She is going to have a tank ass by the time those things are done growing in there. I was convinced, more like hoping, she had a hostile environment in her uterus.

  11. Ted from LA

    Don’t they usually embalm dead guys and close their eyes?

  12. SweetIntoxication

    Christ what rock did her husband crawl out from under? Well not looking forward to seeing the spawn of that.

  13. She is having twins? Like the baseball team? Looks like they’s fit, oh well, good for her anyway

  14. Hey, love him or hate him, Marc Anthony has had more pussy than Morris…

    Hopefully her pregnancy will grow her some tits.

  15. Warren Piece

    Ummmm…. twins are NOT hereditary. In both cases it’s a fluke – be it fraternal or identical.

  16. Aidan

    how many twins?

  17. The White Urkle

    She is not knocked up. SHe just needs to take a realy big dump. Just look at her ass!

    Ted, you freaking cracked me up! Now I need to clean up the coffee that just shot out my nose.

  18. hnb

    I just wanna pop out babies. Is that a crime?

    webelowwear . com

  19. Missystar

    Evidently, he’s trying to distract questions about the whole IVF thing by claiming twins “run in the family”. God forbid anyone should mention that she’s pushing forty, and therefore too old to get knocked up the old-fashioned way.

  20. rex cramer

    Twin what’s?

  21. RCA

    Twin succubussesseses.

  22. gotmilk?

    ok, so let’s pretend twins WERE hereditary – wouldn’t that pass on through a female? then it would have nothing to do with his family. this guy is a retard. Is mental retardation hereditary too because that would explain a lot about J-Lo.

  23. He must have a really GREAT personality..

  24. D. Richards (Saint.)

    What kind of In Vitro plastic-surgery-fertilization are all of these celebrities doing? The odds aren’t easy; one in two-hundred and fifty. Yet, every celebrity couple is having a set of twins. Lopez, Angelina Jolie — Something smells fishy here and it’s not Jennifer Lopez’s cunt. Not this time.

    Note: I’m praying for Jennifer’s twins to be born siamese. I want them back-to back, connected at the ass, sharing the same asshole.

  25. Auntie Kryst

    So when is the expected arrival date of Chuy and Rosa?

  26. sidv

    She always looks like she’s thinking “Back off bitches, he’s all mine.”

  27. D. Richards

    Frist, you know you’d blow Marc Anthony.

  28. grrr

    who cares

  29. obviously

    If theres twins in the family it is possible for someone else to have twins also

  30. Sapphire Eyes

    Twins … I almost feel sorry for the girl. I have four-year old twins who can be absolute monsters when they feel like it. Of course, since we’re just an average family, we don’t have nannies, maids, or anyone to wipe our butts. We have to do all the dirty work ourselves!

    Twins, Dios mio. Jennie from the Block is in for some rough times!

  31. #25 – It’s Jose and Carmen… or Hector and Maria… or Jesus and Lisette… or puta y puñeta…

  32. BunnyButt

    Frist, or a really big …

    bank account.

  33. To Shit Richards

    Morning again bro. I mean like in brothers. Seperated at birth. We are like a fissile atom. Me – the rock solid nuleus holding us and the world for that matter together. You – the electron. Repelling and repugnant flying all over the place.
    And we too were siamese and like your prayer (please godless semi-void make it so) we were joined tool. Your mouth to my anus. This explains why you still to this day talk so much shit. Hence the moniker Shit Richards.
    Later bro.

  34. stool

    29, It is a possibility. It’s also possible for people who don’t have twins in the family to have twins. In this case, we all know it’s from IVF. The gene for fraternal twins would be passed through the mother’s line, so this douchstick father of hers needs to do some research before he starting spouting off shit to cover up the fact that his bitch of a daughter couldn’t make babies naturally…not that there’s anything wrong with that. I mean, maybe she could have had kids naturally had any of her other 298234 marriages worked out while she was younger.

  35. LOL @ 33 for #27

  36. Just so ya know, not as though anybody gives a damn, fraternal twins can be heriditary… due to ‘hyperovualtion’, meaning the female often releases more than one egg at a time. Identical twins are always a fluke tho. So yes, if her father’s sister (J-Lo’s aunt) had fraternal twins, the gene coulda been passed down through her father from her grandparents( just as the gene for male pattern baldness is passed from mothers to sons)… This concludes today’s science lesson, and yes, this will be on the exam.

  37. Get your save Britney t-shirt

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    SAVE BRITNEY

  38. D. Richards (Chef.)

    ‘Shit’ Richards! Classic. Yawn.

    You’re all wrong, Lopez will name her children Pablo and Marc Tony. If they’re girls, Selena and Guadeloupe.

  39. Junie Spears?

    Twins in the family – in your ass more like Papi Lopez. One word (or acronym) – IVF.
    For the record she looks like a waxwork doll at Madame Tussauds here.

  40. mimo

    aww look at her “BLUE STEEL.”

  41. Anal Fistula

    I guess this explains why Mark Anthony has been shrinking…JLo, the buffet queen, has been eating all of his food…

  42. meh

    #38-It’s GUADALUPE. I bet you pronounce it wrong too. “gwad-a-loop”…WRONG. joto

  43. D. Richards (Right.)

    #42? Do spell check, honey. That’s what I did.

  44. D. Richards (Biologist.)

    Since you mentioned it, I pronounce ‘Guadeloupe’ with an ‘R’ in it: Rat. Because that’s how latinos reproduce, like rats.

  45. Wrench

    22: Twins are hereditary; it only goes through the mother, and it skips a generation, and it ONLY applies to fraternal twins. My family has at least one set of fraternal twins every other generation, going back nearly 12 generations on my mom’s side. And, whoo-hoo, it’s my generation to have them and I’m the only chick. So let’s hope that little “family tradition” comes to a fitting and natural death with my uterus. Any more than one is a litter.

  46. matt

    So big-ass and Gomez are having twins. whoop-e-shit.

  47. Anonymous

    FUCK J-Ho. She’s such a piece of shit. I hope her twins are healthy, but they will be born with tails.

  48. to the inimitable (save for it's clones ) ...Shit Richards

    Sorry I bored you. Hypoxemia making you yawn? High threshold of stimulus? Perhaps intellectual paucity of ideation rendering your retorts barren, without substance save for their shocking disregard for humanity, other than your own semi-sexual (erectile dysfunction makes one semi-sexual) craven orientations (induced by said malady).
    Might I suggest to my brother a larger butt-plug. They make them now, bro, with a porous mesh allowing all that methane to escape and a drip absorptive base to catch all that leaking mud (we know a “girl your age has been anally ravaged by time and exotic excercise, shall we call it)!

  49. Anonymous

    Jennifer, yes it’s true! She DID break up with her boyfriend! And she married this guy! By the way, your website has changed my life! I went to the site and found a 78-year old widow worth millions! We’ll be married this fall. Can I have your mailing address? I’d like to send you an invitation. Thank you so much.

  50. Anonymous

    “I was convinced, more like hoping, she had a hostile environment in her uterus. ”

    J-Ho IS a hostile environment.

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