Jennifer Lopez wears a bikini, displays that which her Mama gave her

July 6th, 2008 // 119 Comments

After seeing these pics of Jennifer Lopez wearing a bikini in Italy, I think it goes without saying that she needs to challenge Kim Kardashian to an Ass Off. You know, settle things once and for all. To be honest, I don’t exactly know what they’d have to settle, but I’m sure it has something to do with offsetting the moon’s ability to affect the Earth’s tides. I mean, look at that J-Butt. Asses don’t have pecs!


  1. surlywench

    She bores me.

  2. IWONA


  3. IWONA


  4. IWONA


  5. mina


    and to think she just gave birth.

  6. Angry Beaver

    I’m feeling the urge to grab a harpoon and spear that!

  7. Completely and utterly disgusting. It’s bad enough she’s famous for having no talent, then she marries The Lizard King and now she’s flaunting her gigantic ass in public. Ugh!

  8. Feel_the_velvet

    Whoa, cowboy! Check out ‘em saddlebags.

  9. pointandlaugh

    I’d hit it. Oh lawd I’d love to ride that…

  10. Jackson

    She looks better than Kim Kardaskank and she just had twins!

  11. Wow, remind me to never get my GF knocked up!

  12. wet newspaper

    LOL @ 7 – The Lizard King!

    In all fairness, she probably looks a hell of a lot better than a lot of you wide loads. And she give birth to twins a couple of months back.

    She isn’t fat. Kim Kardashian is fat, and she doesn’t even have an excuse.

  13. Kate2

    Another example of what childbirth does to you.

  14. Santa

    Shame on her for procreating and letting her body turn into something that men don’t want to objectify. In fact, shame on her for being human.

  15. Ugh

    Look at the bossy bitch, pointing her finger and telling everyone what to do. I hear she’s a control freak and a terrible tipper.

  16. Zohan Israel

    I believe she has a Fupa.

  17. Emeril

    Italian sharks love Puerto Rican beef once in awhile if it is thumped, mashed and tenderized properly.

  18. #15 – she’s not “human”, she’s a stupid no-talent skank who has been forced upon the public by a media that was dying for a Hispanic “celeb”. By most all accounts she is a nasty and mean bitch to pretty much everyone. And, since you probably aren’t smart enough to realize this – this is a celeb site where people come to make fun of these idiots. You might want to turn your computer to something a little more your speed like or something.

  19. Lauren

    Better than Kim.

  20. Deacon Jones


    That’s the last thing I needed to see, I’m still hungover from Sat.

  21. Jackson'shole

    Sorry people but she does NOT look better than Kim.

  22. Maurice


    You are so right on dude. JLo is not as fat as Kim and I have a fetish for fat chicks with big asses like Kim. I don’t care if Kim has a big fat square ass because it looks sexy and I bet her loose ass jiggles when Kim walks and jello asses turn me on!

  23. She bores me too. And she should be wearing a 1-piece.

  24. wet newspaper

    @ 22 – She looks better than you, though!

    Tell me, what is it that you like about Kim? Is it the gigantic arse or the stale urine aroma?

  25. JLo please die

    This useless worthless pseudohuman thing needs to be shot, and not with a camera.

    Both JLo and the msm need to die asap. Rancid stinking cunts.

  26. Anon


    I’d hit it!

  27. veggi

    “Shame on her for procreating and letting her body turn into something that men don’t want to objectify.”

    So you decided to take Women’s Studies 101 as a summer course. Sounds like you’re at about week 3.

  28. Kathleen

    I would +10 beers.

  29. Alice

    She can’t sing and she can’t dance, so she better try to avoid these types of pictures. All she has for her “career” now is the memory of her ass. Btw, SHE was the one to objectify it, and she certainly made lots of money from that. JLo has a heart of stone and she’s not a victim in any way.

  30. random

    I like peanut butter

  31. Eric

    I hate even looking at busted old women. There should be some island where we put them, completely out of sight. Disgusting.

  32. lena

    couldn’t she at least have ditched the ho-bag ghetto hoop earrings?

  33. Stan

    As they say in her native tongue, “what a peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg!”

  34. miggs

    Too bad her husband sucks blood, not cellulite.

  35. joho777

    She does have sizable thighs and a normal sized butt. But this just means she stopped starving herself for a few minutes.

    As soon as she has a part, or is going to be on a magazine cover, she’ll be back to rice cakes and non-fat yogurt.

  36. random

    34 and 35

    Big win

  37. Laura

    The creepiest thing about these photos is her kissing her Crypt Keeper husband. Ewww.

  38. Kate

    I don’t get it. I don’t get why she “insured her ass” for like a million bucks. It isn’t that great. At all. It looks it’s age and slightly saggy. It isn’t worth insuring, there are a lot of better asses out there that deserve to be insured on this one. There should be an FBI investigation into this. I bet she’s smuggling uranium to North Korea in there. :(

  39. Cindy

    Wow…all I can say is, good luck to her satellite asses, the ones growing out of her thighs. I hope they also have successful careers in “entertainment.”

  40. sara

    while i agree she deserves a break since she recently had twins, i think maybe something less revealing would have been wiser..

  41. CornHole

    I don’t know who I hate more, her or Oprah. I would give everything I have to lock these cunts in the basement. You would never hear from them again.

  42. Seth

    Nice belly pouch. You just know that she wakes up in the middle of the night and her husband is awake, eyes glowing, staring at the pouch and drooling.

  43. Tit shots

    I was reading description by a male marine in Iraq of a female soldier’s wound from a rifle bullet. He said her tit fat splattered out in a whitish-yellow curdled form that looked a lot like cottage cheese.

    Gee it’d be nice is someone shot JLo’s tits off.

  44. Crazy Old Bitch

    Now is that the real J Lo, or the J Lo drawn on Eric Cartman’s hand? I can never tell the difference. They both give taco flavored kisses. That’s what throws me off.

  45. This woman lives in AMERICA?
    (btw: no one can compete my KIM)

  46. John McCain

    #44 – I read that too! But you left out the inspirational part – how the soldier gathered up the splattered tit-fat and made a small bar of soap out of it, then used it in the shower after he masturbated thinking about how her tits jiggled when she got shot. God bless America.

  47. Nicole

    I agree – this chick has no talent whatsoever, yet is considered a “A-list celebrity.” And, has anyone else noticed that her face started looking different last year? She’s obviously has some sort of plastic surgery. She sure can afford it, for having no talent at all. I feel bad for her kids. They are going to be bitchy, bossy, and bratty just like her.

  48. John McCain

    #47: Oh, you know, I was just thinking the other day how nice it would be if somebody cut off JLo’s head; you know, in that sawing way with a knife, the way the Arabs cut off the Jews’ heads off, like they did with Nick Berg and Daniel Pearl?

    I was thinking, you know, about how it feels when something gets stuck in your throat, how you gag and everything. I bet a lot of the noise that the decapatees (Is that a word? It is now.) make isn’t just pain but is also gagging.

    I’d love for the blood to be pouring out of JLo’s throat as she gagged and choked on the blade sawing back and forth on the inside of her throat; that’d be totally cool.

    John McCain

  49. #45 LOL, Eric Cartman’s hand has 100x the talent of J-Lo.

Leave A Comment