Jennifer Lopez in a bikini

August 4th, 2009 // 197 Comments

Here’s Jennifer Lopez vacationing in Italy this week and Jesus Christ! I feel like I’m staring directly into the Death Star. I’m not saying that thing can destroy whole planets, but I am saying a small rebel fleet could fly through that crack. No, really, George Lucas just stopped raping my childhood to approve this message:

[Insert CGI Indiana Jones revealing he's Jar Jar Binks here.] – G.L.

Ha! Good one, George. (I’m going to murder your face.)

Photos: Splash News

  1. Kelley

    And they make fun of Kim Kardashian … you gotta be cool with what you got, and she is.

  2. what a hefer

    HAHA!!! She so deserves that ass, she’s the biggest bitch ever.

    They say there is always room for J-E-L-L-O, but as my monitor and apetite will tell you there is never room for J-LO. Go beat up your husandand and buy some more baby seal coats you giant cow, no one wants to see your fatass and bitch face anymore.

    She looks exactly like a horse from behind, but cleary she doesn’t eat carrots and apples all day.

  3. Her Hubby

    Her husband is only the size of one buttcheek. How do they do the doggie?

  4. diddleysquat

    i bet she fires off truckdriver farts

  5. Pico Mornay

    That’s What I Call A Fat Ass Meal!!!! And You Know I’m Not Talking About Food….

  6. sabz

    kim kardashian thats whats gonna happen to your ass after u pop one out! now keep on expanding!

  7. Randall

    I’m disgusted by what I see, yet I can’t stop jerking.

    so to recap, Randall is into trannies, racism, pedophilia, and is a chronic masturbater.


  8. Albin Bainbridge

    @ 15

    “hahaha Jlo looks great after she pushed out those twins, and no honey thats not ass implants thats that undercover negro blood hiding under the name puerto rican.”

    Why do you write like that?

    @ 21

    Just because people don’t like gargantuan butts and breasts doesn’t mean they want an emaciated skeleton. Moderation in everything.

    That said, I actually like J. Lo’s butt. It’s big and protuberant, and she has the curves and frame to carry it.

  9. Dread not

    OMG! That ass is BOOMIN’! Just phenomenal.

  10. J D

    The whitest latino I have ever seen . But that booty is banging you gotta like that!!!

  11. I am a bid JLo fan, but I have had 5 kids and weigh over 200, and my ass isn’t that big…

  12. Alinka

    All that working out and bragging she got back to her pre-pregnancy weight for THAT??? She looks overweight plus I detest her body shape. She could even out her ass and make it more proportional to the rest of her body. She has almost no waist… Shaped like a baboom…

  13. Big Butts United

    I have an ass just like, and men love it. Really, her ass only looks big because she has such a small waist. Men love bodies like ours. Who wants to be with a woman that has no waist and/or hips, might as well be with a 12 year old boy. All you guys that don’t love her body are just latent homos!

  14. Valinda


    Whatever fatty.

  15. Big Butts United


    I’m not fat like you. I’m 5′ 6” and weight 125lbs. Jealous!!!! I just have a small waist, in fact my waist is 22″.

  16. Tom K

    Her pussy probably stinks. She looks like the type.

  17. I think she looks GREAT.

  18. Sure

    Not attractive. No wonder it takes so much money when they glam her up. She looks like a maid at motel 6. This hoodrat slept her way to where she is at. jlo your valtrex is ready, please pay the cashier.

    #63- her ass only looks big, BECAUSE IT IS. Just like yours. I bet guys never come back for seconds of your pie. You should be rolled in flour.

  19. Rasputins Liver


    ….dat broad’s gotta lotta fat on dat ass.

    Lookin’ like a sloppy ol’ bucket full of warmed up cottage cheese and lard.

    Well, she was always a bitch anyways. A nasty, snot-nosed, diva cunt.

    So who the hell cares she’s hagged?

    Not me man.


  20. hacksaw

    I’d hit it.

  21. Rasputins Liver


    ….dat broad’s gotta lotta fat on dat ass.

    Lookin’ like a sloppy ol’ bucket full of warmed up cottage cheese and lard.

    Well, she was always a bitch anyways. A nasty, snot-nosed, diva cunt.

    So who the hell cares she’s hagged?

    Not me man.


  22. TheJoker07


  23. ihatePETA


  24. ehh.

    looks like a middle aged mom ass from behind. not too bad from the side. overall, body is in shape. needs to lose a few to minimize the ass. beautiful woman in the face, though.

  25. Duke Steele

    Holy Shit!! Is that what caused that recent eclipse???? And #5 bete noir: Just when was it she had a well toned bod? I missed that. I must have been out of town.

  26. What happend to Britney? I want my MILF boobs!

    You better believe that bikini bottom is screaming in pain. And the bra’s probably saying, “If there’s no tits here, what the fuck am I doing here?”

  27. vito

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Some of the dumbest fuckers on Earth inhabit this blog.

    “My wife’s ass doesn’t look like THAT!”
    “I have 230 kids and MY butt isn’t that big!”
    “My sister weighs 52 lbs. even she DOESN’T have a big butt.”

    Have you fucking morons never heard of GENETICS??? The size of JLo’s ass is determined by her GENES. Ever heard of DNA? That’s a part of our genes and helps to define what traits we will inherit from our parents, and their parents, and their parents, etc..

    You, or your wife, or your great Aunt Tilly don’t have fat asses? That’s about as relevant as the color of socks you’re wearing or whether you spit or swallow. And really, who gives a flying fuck?

    I think JLo is hotter than a jalepeno burrito, regardless of the size of her keister. The same goes for Kim Kardashian. I would bet if you were to ask them if they’d like their butts to be a little bit smaller they would say “yes.” Hopefully, though, they both appreciate just how fucking sexy they are!

    Of course, that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong.

  28. ha

    The thing about J-Lo and Kim Kardashian is that they both have really beautiful faces, so it doesn’t even matter if you’re not a butt guy. You can’t pretend that either is ugly.

  29. I wouldn’t kick that out of my face.

  30. The Observer

    This is why I don’t understand black people. Put me in one of those racial conferences and the first thing i’ll ask is “Why the hell do you idiots love those fat, disgusting, misshapen asses?”

  31. yowillie

    Still works….

  32. I’d drill it like ANWR.

  33. Beetlejuice

    Can you imagine how much stinky dung comes out of that turd cutter daily?

  34. datroof

    Welp… that is quite the posterior.

    Judgement: FUCKABLE

  35. james

    I don’t care that she has had a couple of kids. I like big back yards.

  36. lanegra

    i like more her body and buttocks way better than that fat ass kim kardashian…i haven’t seen a picture of her without being airbrushed before and never seen her “colita” in front view… anyone agrees?

  37. mike hawk


  38. mike hawk


  39. Jugh Hackman

    heinous anus

  40. Ljutefisk

    Finally! Something to fap to.

  41. eautus milf

    que culo gordo xd

  42. Nameless

    Quick someone call Jennifer Love Hewitt and show her JLo’s pics. That’s how you get older, have and ass and ZERO cottage cheese legs. And these pics are taken under the direct freakin’ sun.

  43. Voltaire could feed A BILLION STARVING SAILORS on half that ass. Seriously. Holy shit. Rewrite Candide, bitch.

  44. Superbiggerevil

    Hey it’s Jenny with a cock!

  45. weezie

    who cares about her ass… did you get a look at that rock!!!???

  46. TopCat

    I thought it was a white horse’s ass

  47. Buttboy

    That butt deserves a 24/7 pumping.

  48. Martina

    Somebody needs to tell Jennifer that … it’s OVER.

  49. Womb Raider

    Good Lord, her butt cheeks are so wide apart. Like gaping. I bet her asshole looks like a brown beer coaster after a pint of Guinness fell through it.

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