Jennifer Lopez in a bikini

August 4th, 2009 // 197 Comments

Here’s Jennifer Lopez vacationing in Italy this week and Jesus Christ! I feel like I’m staring directly into the Death Star. I’m not saying that thing can destroy whole planets, but I am saying a small rebel fleet could fly through that crack. No, really, George Lucas just stopped raping my childhood to approve this message:

[Insert CGI Indiana Jones revealing he's Jar Jar Binks here.] – G.L.

Ha! Good one, George. (I’m going to murder your face.)

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. naju

    first clemi!

  2. Hugh Asse

    Glad I have a 30″ monitor

  3. WOW

    I had to use both my screens to see the whole ass!

  4. naju

    clemu i lov u

  5. bete noir

    Why are they shooting ass shots of JLo now that her bod is looking very middleaged after her pregnancy. They never did that when she was smokin that well-toned bod. I think that’s mean. But baby definitely’s got back!

  6. Newcastle

    She got a big ass….

  7. scott

    You lookin good in them shorts but they look better on the floo’ casue you’s a tip drill cause you’s a tip drill
    See now i wanna let you ride but the rubber might slide you’s a tip drill girl you a tip drill
    I said i wanna let you ride but the rubber might slide you’s a tip drill girl you a tip drill
    Toot that ass up mama put that dip in ya back and let me tip drill just let me tip drill
    Toot that ass up mama put that dip in ya back and let me tip drill just let me tip drill

  8. Blubble

    God damn it that was fucking disgusting. If I didn’t have Adblock to block those hideous pictures, I’d have to avoid the superficial for a week.

    I realize that she shit out some kids, but that was a while back. My wife never looked that bad after she had our kids.

  9. Meg

    Sweet Jesus that’s a big ass! Kim who?

  10. stupidass

    ewww.

    guys, look at pics 5 and 8. the bottom of her butt is, well, unnatural looking. butt implants?

  11. Girlfriend seriously needs to find some new swimwear.

  12. It is amazing

    Is this what black guys find attractive? It is not as ugly as I thought…….

  13. oh yeah

    I didn’t know she was Kim Lardassian’s long-lost sister

  14. hahaha Jlo looks great after she pushed out those twins, and no honey thats not ass implants thats that undercover negro blood hiding under the name puerto rican. Shes not damn near perfect like she used to be but her ass looks beautiful. I want to know why every one thinks paris hilton and keira knightley look so good.

  15. Anonymous

    Excuse me while I toss my lunch.

    That is utterly disgusting.

  16. asa1

    i miss her and ben…

    they were great

  17. Racer X

    I’d hit it like a single up the middle.

    /fo reals!

  18. Feckless

    Size 2

  19. Danklin24

    How is it that people see JLH’s ass and think ewww but see this and go mmmmm i want some of that???? Jennifer Lopez is all kinds of nasty. That isnt even a sexy big ass. KIm K has a big sexy ass.

  20. beautiful

    she has BEAUTIFUL body and booty..i dont understand why MOST white people (correct me I’m wrong)…find small flat bottoms sexy
    must really like making love to bones

  21. Was it?

    Was it really necessary to zoom in on her ass? i mean, you could see that thing from outer space!

  22. bert

    I’d so hammer on that booty. And I mean HAMMER!!

  23. Sir-Mix-Alot

    Baby got back!!!!

  24. Thats a whole-latta ass! You can spot that thing from the hubble telescope….make no mistake id tap that ass till it spout oil, -there will be blood-

  25. Bubba Rednex

    I puked and was blinded at the same time . Thats friggin disgusting ! She can look like that if she wants but PLEASE wear a MUMU . COVER UP !!!

  26. Richard McBeef

    how can your ass be that big and your titties be that small? something doesn’t compute.

  27. pasteve

    LOL at pic 4, could they have framed that any tighter and still had it be recognizable as a human ass?

  28. ZippytheWonderSlug

    *** SPECIAL REPORT ***

    We interrupt your bikini posts for this special report:

    *** BREAKING NEWS ***

    NASA has just discovered a second moon orbiting Earth. There is a severe crack in this new moon, and scientists believe that if this is what is keeping the new moon from coming together and destroying the Earth. NASA reports that there has been a slight shift in the Earth’s rotation. They report that there should be no cause for panic at this time. Scientists have named the new moon “JLo-1″ and are preparing a shuttle mission to investigate the new moon and to see if anything else may be caught, either in, or near this huge crack. We will of course keep you informed of any new developments in this breaking story. Stay tuned for further updates.

    We now return you to your regular scheduled posts.

  29. uh

    That’s not gross… It’s very toned and round. It doesn’t look that big when she’s clothed though….Weird… Maybe this pic is distorted?

  30. uh

    That’s not gross… It’s very toned and round. It doesn’t look that big when she’s clothed though….Weird… Maybe this pic is distorted?

  31. Jaxon

    Wow! That thing needs its own zipcode. It’s pretty amazing though. Considering the weight of it and her age I’m surprised it hasn’t slid down to her knees.

  32. Zeke

    This reminds me… did they ever find out where Jimmy Hoffa is buried?

  33. HA

    Zippy, I do believe that is the funniest post of the day. I wish I could come up with something as funny, but I feel like I am in shock after seeing the photo above. Thanks Man! Or Woman!

  34. Wut

    As with the other Death Star, you want to navigate along the trench. Remember the briefing: “It’s a small thermal exhaust port, right below (above?) the main port.”

  35. cracker mofo

    With an ass that big, I bet she can’t wipe her crack after taking a shit. You negroes can hit that mudpie all day and night.

  36. Iambananas

    Oh, calm down people… it’s not that bad.

  37. bop

    Her butt is really big, but it doesn’t have cellulite, so shes lucky. thats alot of fat

  38. Admit it suckers

    You must admit that her azz is better than Jennifer Love Hewitts.

  39. Wow, after all this time I’ve actually forgotten how big it was. The stuff that makes legends.

  40. bop

    she could look cuter in a different bikini bottom tho

  41. Topical

    Her butt is bigger than Lindsay Lohan’s fake pregnant belly on to the sides of this commentary. She wins.

  42. Sher

    Now thats an Ass! YAY for J-LO and her big booty!!

  43. Sher

    Now thats an Ass! YAY for J-LO and her big booty!!

  44. Mama Pinkus

    she looks like a triangle

  45. kingofbeer

    I like a big ass! She looks great!

  46. been afflicted

    Cartman’s hand, probably whole arm, could fit all up in there.

  47. Bubba Rednex

    Only a Sham Wow ! would be able to wipe something that big .

  48. Venom

    Finally something I can sink my teeth into. Fuck the haters, that ass is still amazing.

  49. Jamie's Uterus

    The original no talent fat ass slut is back. Her and Kim should do a reality show together, and see who can degrade themselves even more. I think Kim would win.

    At least when j-whore was sucking dicks and lying about it , she sucked powerful men off, not the losers Kim hangs with. Kim should make better choices when servicing men.

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