Jennifer Lopez has disgusting problems

March 29th, 2005 // 8 Comments

Once Schwimmer was gone our gentle Utah Local Audio guy, turned to us sheepishly and said, “Man, Schwimmer’s story is nothing, I’ve heard way worse in my headphones on set.”

The room went Silent. Our Sound Guy is one of those soft sincere dads who works in TV in a small town and is more impressed with his daughter’s report card than a Hollywood star, so we were SHOCKED to hear what came out of his mouth next…

“Remember a few years ago when Ben Affleck and Matt Damon were here shooting Project Greenlight?” (They had gone to Sundance to interview directors and writers and try and create a publicity stunt and an episode out of it.) “I was doing sound in the condo where they were both lodging and filming. At one point Ben took a break from shooting and disappeared upstairs to his bedroom. By mistake he left his wireless mic on.”

“Jennifer Lopez was there with Ben, but was hiding out in his room the whole time. At first when I heard Ben kissing her hello, I immediately went to turn the volume down on my headphones. But then they started kissing loudly and making noises, and I felt so guilty, but I left the sound up, and heard Jennifer saying ‘I love you baby, I love you… You wanna get busy, baby. You wanna get busy?’”

“Then I heard Ben reply, .’Are you sure you’re feelin’ better? I don’t want you to shit on me again.’”

Silence. Then screams from everyone on our crew. Our dear sound guy seemed like he had finally told a story he’d been holding onto for years, and was relieved to tell people who found it more funny than disgusting. I think it is perfectly both.”

Mmmmmm, is there anything hotter than a condescending flat chested fat girl with bowel control problems. Rowwrrr, gotta get me some of that!

*Contestant, Boy Scout Box Car Derby, 1988


  1. Charlaurz McHall

    holy crap, thats gross!! ugh, i am gonna be having nightmares for weeks.

  2. cinnarose

    I think it was a case of some vigorous anal sex. Santorum strikes again!

  3. EWWWW hahaha

    She makes me sick.

  4. HanSolo

    why wouldnt he like that?!
    Seriously though, thats mean! why would he bring it up again???

  5. Steve

    That was going to come out in her first husbands book. She has to get it up the ass. Howard Stern managed to trick it out of P Diddy.

  6. Then the cries of everyone on our team. Our dear sound Guy seemed finally to have told a story he had been held in recent years, and was relieved to tell people who found the funniest thing disgusting. I think he's perfectly at once.

  7. colourfulboy

    i want to fuck jennifer lopez ass

  8. Vinny

    Why is that gross?

    I’d give it to her up that nice ass too.

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