Jennifer Garner shot down Tom Cruise

January 15th, 2008 // 73 Comments

Before marrying Katie Holmes and turning her into a zombie, Tom Cruise tried having relationships with Penelope Cruz and Sofia Vergara. He also unsuccessfully tried to land Ben Affleck’s current bride Jennifer Garner, according to Tom Cruise: An Unauthorized Biography written by Princess Di biographer Andrew Morton. Us Weekly reports:

Morton writes that Cruise left messages on the Alias star’s voice mail in 2004 asking “if she knew what freedom was,” but his advances were rebuffed.

Tom Cruise’s pick-up line: Do you know what freedom is? I’m pretty sure it doesn’t involve standing on a step-stool that reads “Tommy’s Helper” to wash your hands. That’s just my educated guess. Of course, I can’t say I’ve ever felt the thrill of driving a car with alphabet blocks strapped to my feet, so maybe Tom Cruise knows something I don’t.

Photos: Getty Images

  1. Webster

    50 – I’ll go one better. Bosworth and Beckinsdale….Two admittedly anorexic chicks.

    TC needs to realize that not every girl had a crush on him growing up. Him and his tombstone teeth.

  2. Reggie Bush

    looks gorgeous and classy and not trashy. Thank God she rebuffed Midget Thetans advances or she’d have that vacant glazed look.

  3. He’s such an idiot. He finally bagged the chick who said she wanted to marry him when she was 16. Why would any intelligent woman want to marry someone they’ve only seen in a movie? Katie is a robot.

  4. boo

    Add Scarlett Johannson to the list of starlets that supposedly shot him down.

  5. RosiesVaginaSap

    Goose is gonna be pissed

  6. jennifer


    ok, I can just picture Katie looking through Tom’s stuff one day and coming across the list that had all the other names before her and they’re all crossed out and then her name is circled…classic.

  7. PrettyBaby

    Oh that Tom…. he is so glib isn’t he?

  8. carly

    wow, what a beautiful girl

  9. That is seriously creepy. SERIOUSLY.

  10. McKenna

    What do you mean he “tried” to date Penelope Cruise? They dated for three years exclusively.

  11. McKenna

    What do you mean he “tried” to date Penelope Cruise? They dated for three years exclusively.

  12. Chris

    He also tried hooking up with Scarlett Johanssen when he was making Missions Impossible 3. She was going to play his girlfriend in it, and she went to his house and he had all these Scientologist freaks over there and he was all like, “It’s fun! It costs a shitload of money and your dignity, but it’s fun!” And then she bowed out due to “scheduling conflicts.” That doesn’t neccessarily mean he was trying to do her, but come on, it’s Scarlett Johanssen, who wouldn’t? Then again, it is Tom Cruise we’re talking about, and Scarlett’s definitely more feminine than Katie, which I imagine would turn Tom off a little.

  13. amy3000

    Wow, she looks exactly like jennifer love hewitt…before she got fat.

  14. mafme

    Even Jester couldn’t do that.

  15. This has to be seen to be believed. Tom Cruise in a scientology recruit video.

  16. FRT



    How can Tom father a baby when he is “shooting blanks”…oh…yea…artificial insemination of Ron L. Hubbard’s 50 year old ball-goo with a turkey baster!

    Should have said you were a “communist” Katie…!!!

  17. i don’t think she is beautiful, but many friends from said she is good. for god sake i don’t know the reason, but i think they are reasonable for i know they are picky. you know it is a site where rich women can seek young cute men and men can find extramarital affairs….and they are beautiful and charming…

  18. sillypanda!

    this sounds so fictitous. i mean, come on! who would know about the supposed phone message anyways?? especially this morton guy? lame.

    she looks pretty there =] she usually looks…plain.

  19. KDR

    wow, she actually looks good in this pic!

  20. 10pound

    I shit into Tom Cruise’s mouth…true story…he is a scat muncher.

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  22. “Jennifer Garner stepped on Tom Cruise”

    Pretty funny write up. Of course, she married Ben Affleck, so…

    Funny comment’s, too. Where does the magic come from? Where does it go?

    @31 – Just not Olivia Burnettes, cuz he can almost look her in the eye:

  23. question

    Does anyone know how to find out who made this dress?

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