Apparently, there’s much speculation over the state of Jennifer Garner’s uterus. I, on the other hand, forgot she even existed. However, I can now report a Ben Affleck sperm has indeed collided with her egg. Jennifer’s Alias co-star Victor Garber confirmed the news to Us Magazine proving his ability to keep a secret is pretty fucking weak:
“Yes, she is,” Garber – who officiated the couple’s 2005 wedding – told Us when asked if recent speculation was true that the couple is expecting.
A source adds, “She is five months pregnant. They are very happy.”
Now Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner will have something to do while they’re not acting. Christ, when’s the last time one of them was in a movie? Hold on, I just remembered Daredevil. Searing pain…. Want to die…. And, phew! Made it. Yeah, in hindsight, this is AWESOME news. They should shoot for a third one right away. Actually, you know what? Fuck it. Adopt! Just scoop some kids up from a day care and go all Brad and Angelina. I hear it’s a blast. Ha ha! Please don’t act again.
sixpack | July 18, 2008 at 9:03 am
I wonder who is more insignificant; this one or Sandra Bullock.
Richard McBeef | July 18, 2008 at 9:03 am
Eww, Ben Affleck spooge!
yourface | July 18, 2008 at 9:10 am
Jennifer Garner was in Juno.
Barak Obama | July 18, 2008 at 9:15 am
It may be Ben Affleck spooge, but you know he paid someone to put it in there. There is no way he would touch a vagina.
Benny | July 18, 2008 at 9:16 am
Jennifer Garner is still hot – pregnant or not
Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | July 18, 2008 at 9:27 am
Being knocked up is no excuse for wearing Talbots jeans.
Miss Kitty | July 18, 2008 at 9:27 am
Wow, this has made my day….
NEXT!!!
Karen | July 18, 2008 at 9:39 am
Bullshit – a dude can’t get pregnant.
morga | July 18, 2008 at 9:57 am
you idiot
she was great in both Juno and The Kingdom
Omnibacon | July 18, 2008 at 9:58 am
fascinating. I’ve never seen a pregnant woman before. Keep up the good work fish.
cd | July 18, 2008 at 10:06 am
i like her…she’s hot and she’s a good actress.
James | July 18, 2008 at 10:25 am
Never thought I’d be stepping in to defend Affleck’s work, but honestly, Gone Baby Gone was actually a pretty good movie (he didn’t act in it – which may have had an impact – but he did direct it).
Chupacabra | July 18, 2008 at 10:43 am
Neither one of them can act their way out of a paper bag.
NEXT!
gerard Vandenberg | July 18, 2008 at 10:56 am
I’m absolute sure this is “A PIECE” of photoshopping!!
Jenny | July 18, 2008 at 10:57 am
Maybe this time they will have a cute child. *crosses fingers* that last one makes me cringe and shudder.
Jenny | July 18, 2008 at 10:57 am
Maybe this time they will have a cute child. *crosses fingers* that last one makes me cringe and shudder.
Jenny | July 18, 2008 at 10:59 am
Is it rude that I said that twice?
Oops
Astrid | July 18, 2008 at 11:00 am
She really looks very pretty in real…I met her at the Crocs store in NYC with her daughter…a natural beauty :)
missy | July 18, 2008 at 11:59 am
I don’t understand why people dog actors for actually sticking around their kids to parent them. Maybe instead of insulting them, you should think about praising them for actually wanting to be active in their children’s lives. If we had more active parents who were in the acting business, maybe there wouldn’t be so many DUI’s and Drug arrests of their offspring….but then you wouldn’t have a job then, would you!
HomeSchoolFamily | July 18, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Congratulations to them. I’m sure this one will be as adorable as Violet.
rough daddy | July 18, 2008 at 12:15 pm
who? who cares…
Jumpin_J | July 18, 2008 at 12:33 pm
# 3 & 9: She was GREAT in Juno? GREAT? Uh, I don’t remember the acadamy lauding any praises on her performance. Come to think of it, I don’t think anyone did. I’ll give you adequate, but GREAT? C’mon.
sameshitdifferentyear | July 18, 2008 at 1:43 pm
I definitely don’t give a shit.
Cash907 | July 18, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Damnit, someone send Affleck a box of condoms or something. Knocking her up is like pissing on the Sistine Chapel
NY Ted | July 18, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Actually…Matt Damon is the father…Or is it Marky Mark…Hmm…could even be A-Rod…???
Keira | July 18, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Not sure why such hateful comments….the haters have little to work with here…just a nice family.
Angie | July 18, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Well, Jennifer Garner just did JUNO. That wasn’t a hit though..now was it??
Sell Porn Make Money | July 18, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Wow, I don’t think I could be less interested unless you showed me a picture of spencer again.
Narcissist | July 19, 2008 at 6:10 am
Garner was in “Juno”. Fortunately for Juno’s investors, Affleck was not.
syn | July 20, 2008 at 1:36 am
Juno was an overrated, poorly scripted piece of crap.
jess | July 20, 2008 at 7:28 pm
#15 you are horrible. that was a very hateful thing to say about a child. you obviously have some psychological problems and need to grow up. to pick apart a young child is the lowest of lows. get some help.
stephanie | July 21, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Violet is adorable and will be a natural beauty.
lambman | July 21, 2008 at 10:37 pm
Jennifer was just in Juno, which you know one a few Oscars WTF
Anyways, I normally hate all celebrity children and long for the type when pregant actresses were considered vulgar and kept out of site….but Violet is a damn cute kid.
nikkiejanee | August 30, 2011 at 2:15 pm
i love reading comments….they’re always so funny…..