Jennifer Garner makes dolphins ejaculate

February 10th, 2010 // 54 Comments

Jennifer Garner stopped by Letterman last night where she told Dave a story about the time she made a dolphin come. I guess to prove she really can have that effect on something. Who knows? Via Huffington Post:

“I had my feet dangling in the water,” she told David Letterman Tuesday night. “And the dolphin came and swam right over my foot. I thought, ‘That was so cool!’”
The dolphin started swimming around her leg faster and faster until something happened.
“I said to the trainer, ‘I think the dolphin just peed,’” she said. “He said, ‘No, ma’am, no.’”

In the dolphin’s defense, it didn’t have to see Jennifer Garner’s face, so I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing. On that note, I’ll be crawling around my co-worker’s legs with a blindfold on if anyone needs me. “Hey, new socks, Bill? I mean, I have no idea who this could be…

Photos: Splash News

  1. DL8

    Whats wrong with her face? She’s cute

  2. bertotheginny


  3. Hagwatch

    God what an ugly face! That aint cute unless…oh I see now…

  4. I’ve always thought her mouth looked like it should have a hook in it.

    Now I know why.

  5. Richard McBeef

    She’s a little odd looking but I don’t think she’s a total dog.

  6. Of course she does for fucks sake little bugger was just trying to mate with it’s own, it’s only nature for crying out loud. I mean look at her THAT is a fucking DOLPHIN, look at that gaping mammoth mouth I can practically smell the dead fish stank of Sea World just looking at her, I can hear the nauseating splashing, the shitty trainers calling out for her to jump and all the fat retarded kids in the audience laughing and cheering as they drop ice cream number four on the fucking ground, stupid kids can`t even eat a fucking $2 cone without making a fucking mess. But I digress into my personal nanny nightmares.

    Just look at the first pic and tell me you don’t at least half excpect a dolphin cackle to come out of it and scare you right off your chair.
    Jeesus imagine how sad all the Japanese tourists are when they go to Hawaii and sign up to swim with Dolpins and they get there and it’s just Jen in a fucking clorinated pool laughing and trying to jump around “gracefully” (like a fucking water buffalo) with her oaf husband throwing fish at her and clapping even when she doesn’t catch it, which in her defence is rare considering the Olympic sized clearance that mouth has.

  7. DogBoy

    I got no problem with her–I think she’s cute. The dolphin gets a high five when I see him!

  8. Ted

    Must have been a gay dolphin, because she look-a like-a man.

  9. Doc Schweinstrudel

    Wow the spite from some of you tonight. Snowy day, hah?
    I like her because she looks like a nice person, natural and she acts decent, no camel toes, nothing.

  10. John

    Dolphins are known to commit gang rape. Totally true.

  11. Japanese Guy


  12. peanut

    a few years ago, i thought her face and lips were pretty hot…but i think her ‘facial work’ is starting to show. i’d still do her with a bag on her head though

  13. pimp

    her mouth looks like a beat up asshole…

  14. Pat

    Maybe the dolphin was showing his support for Batman’s archenemy.

  15. HackSaw

    I’d hit it.

  16. ellie

    that’s such a prefabricated story. its so obvious that her publicist told her to say it to make people laugh. blergh

  17. me

    um, why would somebody tell that story on national television. TMI

  18. foot fetish

    I have no idea why a dolphin would want to jerk off to her feet, they are pretty nasty looking

  19. foot fetish

    I have no idea why a dolphin would want to jerk off to her feet, they are pretty nasty looking


  20. Flipper

    I hope the people at GREEN PEACE kill her. What a discussing comment. This woman is a fish f***er. Spit..Spit..Spit…Gag me with a spoon!!!

  21. Crusty

    Listen to the entire video and you’ll find it amusing, not because because of what the dolphin did but rather for what the trainer said seconds prior to the video ending.

    It’s not hilarious but just cute – as is she..

  22. dontneedone

    go fuck yourself fish. jen garner is pretty. you have posted some really ugly women and tried to pass them off as hot, so you have no room to talk about her.

  23. Firefly

    I think the Dolphin threw up when he looked at her! She’s a PIG to say something like that. She’s and Evil, Evil PIG!

  24. Dr. Phil

    “She” has a broad muscular body and a dude-face, and she’s getting more manlier as she gets older. If you think she’s “cute” or even “hot” then you need to summon the courage to cross over to all-out fudgepacking.

  25. chris

    Is everyone in 90210ville an idiot?

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  27. baaaa

    that is a horrible looking man, but i am glad the gay dolphin got some use out of it.

    …that aside, this shemale has the most annoying “soccer mom, i think i am such a cute ‘guy’s girl,’ perfect homemaker, send everyone birthday cards’ type personality.

  28. mfbinc

    TRUE STORY….my ex girlfriend was a dolphin trainer at the local zoo. one day she told me the dolphin would masturbate with a ball on the side of the tank every time she got in it. i laughed but thought she was nuts.

    a few weeks later i went down to watch her train the dolphin and lo and behold i saw the dolphin do exactly what she described.

    a few weeks after that, i get a call from one of her friends that the dolphin became extremely excited when she approached the tank, reached up and bit her hand. with a flick of his head he took a few of her fingers off much to the horror of the people watching….it was covered nationally…….

    seeing her hand when she would rewrap it was very disturbing…..

  29. wosh

    what are you on? she’s beautiful and healthy.

  30. ppl

    she used to be so pretty… beauty is a short career ppl

  31. lovelyriot

    @6 get a life. seriously.

  32. She looks great in that jeans and leather boots. last night saw the “Valentine’s Day” poster in the cinema, very looking forward…

  33. Brooke

    I don’t hate her, because I think she’s got a cute personality and all, but she needs a better stylist. Bright red looks pretty bad on her lips. and she neeeds bangs. I remember thinking she was pretty ugly in Daredevil, but in the making of stuff she had better hair and toned down makeup and looked a lot cuter.

    Though… don’t dolphins have like 14 inch cocks?? How could she miss that?

  34. Hey guys don’t you think she looks like Angelina Jolie!!!

  35. i love it


  36. loo

    she looks absolutely hideous :(

  37. She was mistaken for a bottle chinned dolphin.

    I don’t hate Jennifer Garner. Yet.

  38. A face only dolphins could love.

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  40. Is everyone in 90210ville an idiot?

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  42. woowwww thats amazing

  43. great post,i like it very much

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  45. A face only dolphins could love.

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