Jennifer Garner is afraid of the sun

July 6th, 2007 // 93 Comments
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Jennifer Garner spent her Fourth of July surfing with Ben Affleck in Hawaii. Maybe surfing isn’t the right word here. It looks more like a ‘being pale’ contest, and Jennifer is totally beating everybody in the entire world. When I first saw these I thought she was being played by a ghost. Then I got scared and hid in my closet for two hours. I mean, uh, I didn’t get scared. What I meant to say was I flexed and then my shirt ripped off because my muscles are so big. True story.

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  1. CountDrunkulaXxX

    13, are you sure that youre looking at the same pictures as the rest of us??

    There isnt an ounce of fat on this bitch. Well, unless Ben Affleck is on top of her… Then there are several. Millions that is.

    Man he got chubby.

  2. combustion8

    They both need trainers.

  3. Brenna

    What’s the big deal? Not fake baking or laying out in the sun like Britney and Paris is one of the best things you can do for your skin.

    Good for her!

    And yeah, white people are really white. I’m so pale I’m practically translucent.

  4. wiinja

    speaking of white people, i’m so pale i glow in the dark… true story

  5. Whitey

    Damn this site is fucking racist, saying a white person should be dark. I smell a lawsuit.

  6. how can U B in the zun
    for a month and look zo
    white? zhez probably one
    of thoze people who don’t
    get a tan. zuckz for her.
    I like her, but not her
    ztupid huzband, coz he
    fucked Jennifer Lopez..
    and thatz zome hard up
    zhit to zcrew her??
    LopezfuckinFurBitch?????

  7. michelle

    She has the same face as her troll daughter… the exact same! Ick!

  8. nothing exciting….just another white girl with no boobs and a flat ass!!

    LAME

  9. wedgeone

    Hmm … thought that having a kid would have done her bod better. Chest like a pancake! Where’s Natalie Portman and Keira Knightly when you need them?

  10. Hi James, I agree

  11. Jimbo

    Hi Frist! What about that bikini picture?

  12. wedgeone

    Hey Bern – I left you a note to answer in the Paris Hilton song post. Check it out.

  13. diddleysquat

    All of these hollywood chicks have mannish bodies…what’s up with that?

  14. Chauncey Gardner

    Man, is that chick ugly. I’ve never found her attractive, even when she played a mental child in that switcheroo movie. Add that to her quarterback shoulders and lousy acting, and you pretty much have my least favorite actress in the world.

    Actually, I’ve always thought Garner looked just like that blue singing thing from THE FIFTH ELEMENT that does the operatic funky chicken, and then takes a bunch of space bullets and dies. I think it’s those wicked cheekbones that are trying to conquer the center of her face.

  15. Gas With Oily Discharge

    I never found her attractive.

    She has a fugg-a-lugg mug.

  16. john's girl

    Come on, nobody’s said anything about the fact that Ben’s carrying a pair of navy blue Crocs?

    I’m ashamed.

  17. whitegold

    Seriously? I don’t think she looks that pale?! I mean, sure, she isn’t tanned or anything, but she isn’t like abnormally pale or anything? Or am I the only one that thinks that?!

  18. Beef Curtians

    I didn’t realize she was British.

  19. LadyChroe

    I think she looks great. Really, tanning is on its way out… *ahem* parisbritneyjessica *ahem*

  20. justifiable

    #30 God, you’re still a fucking moron. What the fuck is wrong with the sharks in Florida that you haven’t been eaten by now?

  21. Jimbo

    She’s got a great mouth for blowjobs – could easily fit both the frank and the beans. But then you’d be staring right at her eyes and eyebrows, and it’d definitely flash through your mind that you’re being sucked by a man. Whether or not that makes you harder or softer is between you and Jesus

  22. cosmetologiest

    How weird. She had a baby, and she still looks like a man. Is everyone in Hollywood an Alien?

  23. Wildrose

    She’s adorable and I can think of a lot of other actresses who could follow her example and be a great mom and not paparazzi fodder day in/out!

  24. HornDog

    To each his/her own, but I can’t see how anyone could have any issues with that body! One of the sexiest bodies on the planet!

  25. asteadyrain

    she looks great! most women would kill to look like her after having a kid…

    who’s the anorexic chick with her? you can see her spine! gross…

  26. BaiLingDaBlingBling

    Super white woman looks good for just having a kid not too long ago… Needs a wee bit of tan though…

  27. Hulla

    When she’S 60 she’s still look good while Jessica Simpson’s skin will look like leather or has skin-cancer.

    Good on ya Jennifer!!

  28. Hey Jennifer! I misplace my nut cracker can I borrow your ass cheeks?

  29. niecy

    #14…you said exactly what i wanted to say. i like them too and i find her appealing but yet..fug.

  30. Petite

    Posted by diddleysquat on July 6, 2007 1:12 PM

    All of these hollywood chicks have mannish bodies…what’s up with that?

    ******************************************

    They’re all too skinny to have curves. Remember the era of Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell, Liz Taylor?

    My hubby preferrs me 5 lbs heavier than I like to be, because he says I have more sexy curves. It’s all about the scale!!!

  31. joe blo

    Get some tits you ugly ghost!!!!
    Women without boobs are just men with pussies

  32. Catherine

    I’m glad to see a Hollywood personality practicing safe sun. I wish more people would take her lead and do the same.

  33. Jo

    Hey #30, there’s this letter in the alphabet that comes between R and T… You should know it. It’s the first letter of the phrase “stupid ass ho”

    I think you might actually be able to find it on your keyboard. It’s 2 keys over from the caps lock.
    GOOD LUCK!

  34. Depraved22

    I never thought she was attractive really, but if she wants to protect her skin & not get skin cancer, it’s her business. To all you idiots who said she had thunder thighs, etc., I bet she looks a helluva lot better than you.

  35. #44=zharkz love me?
    zo do manateez?
    all of Godz creaturez?
    adore me?
    your juzt jealouz?
    coz I waz zurfing today?
    and everyday?old fuckface?

  36. BenAffleckSucks

    First Bitches!!!!!!!!

    (Aren’t I clever since I’m obviously not first but am making fun of the stupid mother fuckers who seem to take such joy at being first although that may or may not be the case?)

  37. dickhole

    61st bitches!!!!!

  38. no more bimbos please

    sorry, not everyone fake bakes and aspires to look like an oompa loompa crossed with a hooker, aka the christina aguilera special

  39. What happened to the pics? I can’t complete my investigation without them.

  40. LMAO me too #63.

  41. justifiable

    #59 If that’s how you want to explain your chronic infestations of crabs and panty crickets, go right ahead. And when you’re twelve, everyone IS older than you. I swear to fuck, if you could find a way to dot your “i”s with something retarded like a hearts, you would.

  42. woodhorse

    imo (from someone who has a low melanin level) -she would look terrific with cafe au lait skin. But she won’t have it. The only options we have are skin cancer/old leather or orange-from-a-bottle. If the same amount of money that is spent on research for male pattern baldness was spent on a cure for epidermis fishbellius, the world would be a much better place.

  43. woodhorse

    Jesus! She’s so mad everyone saw her white skin that she made you remove the photo? It’s not like anyone didn’t know already…

  44. Dan

    How much does this couple pay to have media write about them. BA is a no talent, conceited schmuck and Jennifer whoever is as interesting as yesterdays newspaper. They are so part of the decline of show biz in that they have zero talent. They just desire to be famous for the sake of getting attention. They are not the only ones though.

  45. frenchie

    I like Jennifer. She seems like a good mom that is down to earth. She put her carrier on the back burner to raise a family. That is a concept most American women do not undertand these days. She is not out there blinging it like Angelina Jolie or Madonna. Amongs the Hollywood sharks and sheep she seems to have a level head with some character. She is extremely beautifull and sucessful that is living a charmed life most people envy.

  46. Judy Greer

    HA HA HA! YOU ARE LAME!

  47. crazy otto

    she needs sunglasses like Paris’

  48. #65=juztifiablebitch
    eatzhitanddiebitch?

    fucker really hatez itz
    life, don’t cha???????

    get your fattazz outta
    that houze and get zome
    zun alfuckinready????

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