Jennifer Aniston’s new movie must blow

December 20th, 2008 // 40 Comments

Well, it’s official: Marley & Me is a steaming pile of FAIL sauce ala suck. For the second night in a row, Jennifer Aniston has allowed herself to be photographed in public with John Mayer. Clearly, she’s basking in the final minutes of her fame because after this movie hits, these two could have an orgy in Central Park with The Rockettes, and nobody would bat an eye. Unless you count me on the sidelines yelling “Let’s see some more kicking, ladies!” while trying to pretend John Mayer is an ill-placed fleshy park bench. I’m particular about my holiday cheer.

Photos: Splash News

  1. dan

    Looking at the competition her movie will top the Box Office without a doubt. I saw it, went to a screening in Chicago and let me tell you everyone will love it.. It’s not about the dog, it’s about a famlily. Even the coldest persons were crying. Great, great movie.

  2. fax

    Are you working on saturday Fish? nice!

  3. mimi

    It blows…like John Mayer. Does she have an obsession with gay fagbois or what? No wonder she has a history of man problems; she only dates sissy boys.

    Pray for Amy!

  4. timmhy

    Jennifer Aniston has FAIL written all over her.

  5. Jamie's Uterus

    She’s in it, so, of course it sucks. She’s not a movie star, she’s a hack TV actress and tabloid queen. Her talent is minimal.

  6. What the hell is John going to do when he goes on tour, and theres young hot whores parading backstage?

  7. Speaking of steaming piles of FAIL. Douchie, don’t you have an appointment with a loofah and Bill O’s backside?

  8. This Poster

    Anyone posting after This Poster sucks on John Meyer’s guitar string penis and swallows his manjuice

  9. Sonya

    How does she not not notice the miserable look on his face…. It’s so bad its good.

  10. mimi

    Oh, and let’s try to keep this “Christmas shit ” down to a minimum. We ended that a few years ago. It annoys some of us. I was verklempt when Bush eradicated it then.

  11. Dozer

    Is it just me or does Mayer look like a man being led to his own execution in these pictures?

  12. Cash

    Well what do you expect? They took a sentimental and poignant retrospective about a guy’s youth, life, marriage and family, and how it all tied in with one quirky yet lovable pooch, and turned it into a family comedy star (and I use the word loosely) vehicle for the suicidal Wilson brother and the annoying chick from friends. Of course it’s going to be one big pile of suck.

    It actually reminds me of the running gag from the first season of Californication, in which the main character’s supposedly deep and moody book was turned into a light hearted romantic comedy staring Tom Cruise and that bitch he brainwashed and knocked up… what’s her name.

  13. 1moreidiotintheworld

    Every one of her movies made me yawn so much I got lockjaw….. I predict the same for this heap of tripe.

  14. All she had to do is spread her legs and give Brad a baby. She had 5 long years. Instead she actually thought she had an acting career.

    Oh the regrets! Now she is going to give birth to this things baby. The kid will have a giant nose and giant chin.

  15. This Poster

    Nevermind my previous post (#8), I suck on John Meyers guitar string penis and swallow his manjuice myself. No help needed. Thank you.

  16. Wow Jennifer is all over the place hugging headlines. GQ, John Mayer, Marley & Me, what’s up for next week with her?

  17. #7 youre a Crackpot answering you would somewhat legitimizes you….

  18. ummm...yeah

    I am totally sick of that fuckin white trash whore and her self indulgence, Fish,
    there ARE other sluts in the world.
    She is makin me sick…literally, I don’t give a flyin fuck what she does…GOT THAT!
    As for John…WTF…WHO CARES??!!!!!!!

  19. Mike

    I’m totally sick of this desperate whore too. How the hell walking out in front of the paps they called themself going to make her movie a success. Jen is the dumbest ho in HW. Now I have more respect for Paris Hilton then this dumped dumbass.

  20. idiots

    never mind that she’s human and dating this dude
    how dare she hold his hand! lol okayy

  21. will

    That movie must stink really bad to pull these pr stunts in the snow. I know John is glad Vince gave him some tips for the publicity stunt.

  22. win

    LOL #11. TRUE TRUE.

  23. Directly in the face of johny boy, please?

  24. TO

    She is a desperate ho alright, If you take that TV deal that was giving to him Mayer he would burn rubber on this ho so fast. He wouldn’t be able to text the dump fast enough. Mayer is into this for what he can get. Jen just don’t have an ounce of dignity left.

  25. Penny

    She looks like she lacks self confidence. You can see it on her face…

  26. emily

    I love to see the movie, Marley and Me. Who care who she dates? That’s her right. It doesn’t matter what we think of John Mayer. It matters whether she’s happy…

  27. Sport

    I’d fuck her nose job all night long.

  28. linda

    I’m an open minded girl from US, I’m interested in exotic things, photography, outdoors and sports…I have my photos on — Seekingtall. com —, I love tall guys!
    Do you love travelling and have some experience? Just find me out.

  29. uh huh yea

    ummm yea, I totally agree – i too am so sick of that ho, Angie Jo, and her legion of babes for publicity . Changeling?….uh huh, that’s what she’s been trying to do, pretend she’s changed, …. for the better. But as Dr Drew said of her, “No one ever quits heroin, it’s like being a reformed alcholic” Oh! i just reread your post, it appears now that you weren’t posting about Angelina the Bi queen

  30. Jackson'shole

    #1 and #26 are the same marginally literate foreigner who provided financial backing for this movie. Or just the same moron.
    I won’t see it, but I’m pretty sure it actually will be a hit.

  31. Neal

    29. uh huh yea and the rest of Jen fans, it’s funny how you guys keep bringing up Brad and Angie in every one of Jen’s post. Jen still can’t stand on her own?
    Why do you keep assuming every person that hate Jen is a B&A fan. I don’t like Jen and I’m sure not a fan of B&A. Get on with your lives Jen people.
    Jen just act too desperate to me. I don’t like women who sweat you. Jen come off as a freak that would call you day and night and wouldn’t let you breath. I get that from what John said when he broke up with her the first time.

  32. Star

    Why would her movie suck? Its a family movie and most people are looking for a family movie. Not everyone is young and single like us. They cant take their kids to see a movie where people are getting it one. People will probably go see her movie as a family.

  33. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  34. Carol

    I Love Jennifer,
    She is the girl next door, a nice girl, a likeable person, that is what comes across the screen when you watch her movies.
    Brad Pitt will be sorry later in life, if he is not already, leaving her for that freak!! Angelina has to try to hard to be liked, with Jennifer is comes natural.
    You go girl, Love the Tie!!!

  35. Styxchix

    John Mayer looks like some intellectually challenged big brother or something in these pics. Something about the jeans and the sensible shoes. A bit Lenny from Of Mice and Men if you know what I mean…………….

  36. I still hate John Mayer.

    The previews for her new movie don’t even look funny, so I can tell already it’s going to be a bust.

  37. John

    I don’t care for John M. a bit;young turk/jerk….bad vibe all ’round with him.
    Jeniffer’s an average actress;though I like her,and not Angelina.
    (Jen has a beautiful soul,I think….Priceless!!)
    Jen,please,stop looking to a man,for now,and focus on youself.
    A guy will abandon you…you always have yourself…so be happy with you!
    MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! God Bless!

  38. Vicky

    This movie ” Marley & Me” is the Christmas box office and is still is today. I watched it the second day, and I have to admit I planned not to shed a tear.. but my eyes just got blurry and my tears just fall. Very moving at the end, and it’s definitely different from other movies that Jen played before. I recommend it to every family and dog owners & those without a dog yet. :)

  39. I love it when you hacks are proven wrong. Jen’s movie open to the biggest opening on Christmas day ever. Thanks for all the publicity jerks!!!!. Keep being haters you jealous minded wankers.

  40. theodoros sitziris

    dear. jennifer aniston.
    this theodoros sitziris. greek. from greece athrns.
    i love to go on a date with you.
    i love your movies love happens. and others. two
    63 feathertop lane.. brampton. ontario
    toronto. canada. l6r1x1. 905. 799-8229. leave a message on my ansering machine. we have. to meet your my people we are both greeks. ts. love and kisses. yiasou koukla mou.

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