Jennifer Aniston’s bikini bottom (From the perspective of a crazed ‘Peeping Tom’ seagull)

May 15th, 2008 // 109 Comments

Before you guys start hurling the typical comments of “OMGZ Old!”; “I saw these on blah blah blah last year.”; and, the always stinging “You’re a marshmallow!”, scope out the angle on these pics. Sure, I posted similar shots on Monday, but not with the God’s view of Jennifer Aniston’s badonker in this recent batch. So that said, just look at the pretty pictures before I come into your house and knock shit over. Starting with your precious Hummels. KERPLOW! Then your Star Wars action figures. HI-YAH! And, finally, your Hannah Montana posters. WICK-A-POW! Wait. This is my house. Goddammit.

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  1. Kiki

    #46

    It looks stupid when tags stick out. Cut the tag off so you don’t look stupid. I hate when a chick is wearing a thong in a porn flick and you can see the big white tag through the lace. While we are on the subject, when I watch porn, I hate to see dirty feet. Wash your damn feet!

  2. Sandy

    I would love to have hot sex with John in the pool and I don’t care who is watching. I want to like his nipples!

  3. Tabitha

    I would love to do kinky stuff to John because I’m sure he experienced it all. I would love to tie him up and blind fold him and tickle him with a feather. I would also love to slap his tight ass and lick his balls and lick and suck his hard cock.

  4. Becca

    51. ME TOOOOOO!

  5. wow..anal much???

    #51 I don’t know..I think bitching about tags makes YOU look stupid. I also think when it comes to porn you have no right to complain. LOL

  6. ShizFaceDude

    she needs s sex tape like real soon.

  7. Katrina

    God I’d do dirty things to that man..he is amazingly hot!

  8. snarky

    I have a feeling mcdouche is gonna seriously break Jennifer’s heart

  9. Mark

    lmao @ the Mayer trolls. Come on, try to be less obvious! And if you’re gonna use that cheesy 1970s porno language, at least type in “bow chicka bow bow” at the beginning and end of your comment.

  10. havoc

    Jennifer Aniston with her ass sticking up like that in a bikini?

    It wouldn’t take me long to get to her balloon knot….

    .

  11. Sexy Sadie

    I have a fantasy that John gets very turned on by my multiple orgasms. He brings me to orgasm over and over again with his fingers, tongue, and hard cock. We do it all night long while taking breaks to shower, drink champagne, smoke pot, and bath room breaks.

  12. Gina

    #59

    I tried using 1970 porn language but this site does not allow it. I would love to get on top of John Mayer’s hot tall body and ride him on top until he blows!

  13. TiZ69

    I’d tap that ass like glass at a pet store

  14. monty

    Is she trying to strangle herself in one of those photos?
    John Mayer must be boring her to suicide.

  15. Ted Mosby

    I would give Ross a run for his money.

    I especially love her always on headlights.

  16. John M.

    Actually, ladies, this is a little closer to what I like, if you can handle it…

    I couldn’t have cared less if Jen was even in the
    room as I moved toward Tony’s slouched body.

    As I sat down beside him I could smell his arousal. The
    testosterone was fragrant in the air around him. Not
    caring whether or not Jen was still there I leaned over
    on to Tony’s lap at sank my lips down over his still hard
    dick. As his hot cock-flesh slid past my lips I realized
    that this was something I had missed greatly. I began to
    rise and fall faster and faster on Tony’s huge boner. I
    took him in deeper with each downward movement and began
    some tongue action around the head as I almost released
    him coming off each time.

    I could hear Jen’s gasp as I started to really go to
    town on Tony’s vulnerable cock. There was nothing he
    could do about it. He was so wasted that even if he
    realized what I was doing to him he wouldn’t have been
    able to stop me. I had a momentary pang of guilt as I
    raped Tony’s dick with my mouth.

    I guess I did a good job of it because only a minute into
    my blowjob Tony grunted, thrusting his hips up at my face
    and groaned a long low guttural sound as he gushed his
    seed into my throat. I swallowed his come gladly. I was
    glad that I’d brought him off. It would make us a little
    more even for what was coming next…

  17. Sweet Pimp

    Has she won an Oscar for anything?

    If so, she has an Oscar, and she has Mayer’s wiener.

    An Oscar Mayers Wiener.

  18. LOL

    LOL at all the desperate chicks and gays slobbering over this fugly hand-job of a man!

  19. Teacher

    #66

    lol! You copied this but forgot to change Tony to John lol! I give you an A for effort.

  20. John M.

    ummm…just to clarify, it’s supposed to be a 2 guys-1 girl threesome, Tony is Tony Romo, and I’m much more into him than Jen.

    And with that, the fun is gone…

  21. BoboTed

    @#69- no the poster in #66 was correct, he is truthfully relaying John Mayer’s sexual fantasy to the readers of this blog.

    John M.= total homo

  22. Jill

    I want to fuck John’s brains out!

  23. 72...Uh Jill

    You’ve got that restraining order, remember?

    These photos are more proof that this is a FUCKING ORCHESTRATED PUBLICITY SHOOT people.

    Did you honestly think she’s dating ALL those guys? She ain’t Lohan.

  24. Oprah's Gorilla Butthole

    Cue OC Dee to announce her plans to see Mayer in concert in Irvine.

  25. Rut Roh

    I’m thankful.

  26. Scott

    How the fuck does that Uber Bag-O-Douche keep scoring these hot women?

  27. John Doe

    #72

    You want to fuck a guy named John? What a coincidence, I want to fuck a girl named Jill!!!!!

  28. #76

    Well first of all John was not popular in high school and spent many lonely nights in his room practicing guitar. He finally made it big with his pop music and then proved that he could also write, play, and sing soulful blues music from his Continuum CD. He is tall, handsome, intelligent, has full sexy kissable lips, thick wavy hair, and a hot body. He is also concerned about the environment, has witty and demented humor too. He is a fascinating man.

    #74
    You are funny. I am looking forward to seeing John play in concert at the beautiful outdoor Verizon in Irvine CA.

  29. Jenny

    #77

    Call me @ 8675309

  30. John Doe

    #80

    WTF???

    I called you at that number and it turned out to be a gay bar!

  31. Yar

    “ooooh the things I would eat out of her ass, you have no idea”

  32. Inquisitor

    #82:

    John Mayer’s spooge?

  33. my comment

    Jen’s body is beautiful, while after c-sections, stretchmarks, and tattoos, and now twins!, skangelina’s looks like highway pavement with roadwork and markings on it.

  34. Gwen

    Oh, man. I guess this isn’t photoshopped. It’s kinda gross that these pictures exist. Ew.

  35. General Tao

    There is absolutely nothing special about this girl. Average body, slightly goofy looking face.

  36. temp

    jennifer aniston is hot. :)
    seriously i dont know how she keeps her body so fit.

    as for john mayer, he’s hot too! :D

  37. Ted from LA

    67,
    You deserve an an Oscar for that post.

  38. wookielove

    “So that said, just look at the pretty pictures before I come into your house and knock shit over. Starting with your precious Hummels. KERPLOW! Then your Star Wars action figures. HI-YAH! And, finally, your Hannah Montana posters. WICK-A-POW! Wait. This is my house. Goddammit.”

    Was I the only one who thought that was hilarious? Yep, I’m immature ;P

    Oh, and John is a smart guy with a warped sense of humor, gotta love him , I don’t care how freakin gigantic his melon is.

  39. lalalalla

    John Mayer is fucking hot!

  40. T.J.

    No way that fuckin’ idiot is hitting that. He has no talent whatsoever! She is probably thinking “I’ll be glad when he leaves me alone!”

  41. The camera man must have made a huge fucking splash after he hit the water, because he apparently leaped over them to take this shot in a very Matrix-like fashion…

    CAAAAAAAAANNNNONBAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!!!

  42. why is he with her

    91- she will never be a mom.
    she is too busy being an ugly peppermint patti faced no talent star.
    nice body though.

    T.J – he can sing, write, and play the guitar damn well, and has millions of dollars, that ugly old, selfish, whiny voiced, jew face woman is dating out of her league as far as I’m concerned.

  43. jayyy

    omgz old

  44. therusskie

    Can I just say that I think John’s sleeve is gonna look SICK when its gonna be finished and colored in? That’s a LOT of ink, but boy is it gonna look killer. I love it when pretty, well groomed boys all of a sudden whip out a GORGEOUS, HUGE tat. Zhexy!

  45. Am I the only one who finds her completely and utterly average? I mean, she’s pretty, but in a real milquetoast way. Not a horrendously bad actress, but I can’t say I’ve ever found her performances especially compelling. Nothing *wrong* with her body, but nothing that makes me stare, either.

    I guess I just tend to go for the more exotic/unusual.

  46. Teddy

    84

    This is why Jen did not want to have kids; fear of ruining her body and losing her freedom. A person has to be really shallow to make your comments about females having babies. Jen would be great for you because you both have the same shallow concerns.

  47. I LOVE JOHN MAYER!

    I would love to give John Mayer a mind blowing BJ, have him come in my mouth, and then I would spit it out in a jar and save it!

  48. roop

    Wow, you could say, Her body is a wonderland!

    Get it? It’s like the song by John Mayer, see what I did there? I went for an obvious pun. Can I use TheSuperficial as a writing reference to get a gig at E!’s Daily 10?

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