Jennifer Aniston to John Mayer: ‘Thanks for all that publicity. Later!’

December 31st, 2008 // 49 Comments

After dominating the Christmas box office, Jennifer Aniston is spending New Year’s Eve with the most important person in her life right now: Courteney Cox Arquette. Yup, Jen is staying in Los Cabos with the family of her old Friends co-star (OMG! They really were best friends!) while John Mayer is quarantined to a separate beach house with his brother. Whee! People reports:

While the couple appear to be staying in separate residences, their places are just a short drive away – and are connected by a private beach perfect for long walks at sunset.
Aniston is making a tradition of spending the holidays with the Arquettes, having spent a festive night out with them at Mastro’s Steakhouse in Beverly Hills on Christmas Eve.

JEN: I mean, I did have the #1 movie in America over the holiday. Do you think I should sleep with him?
COURTENEY: Eww! Eww! No. God, no.
JOHN: I’m sitting right here.
JEN: No one knows for certain if all the publicity from our “relationship” helped, right? And it’s not like we had a contract.
COURTENEY: Exactly.
JOHN: Hello?
JEN: Plus, he was hanging around that Pete Wentz kid.
JOHN: I’m a studio exec with lots of money and scripts catered to a strong female lead.
JEN: *flashes her breasts* Dammit! It’s just John.
COURTENEY: Seriously, not cool. Now help me get my pants off the ceiling fan.

Photos: Splash News
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  1. CEDric

    First :)) Jenn’s hot

  2. boogermeister

    sub-Penis

  3. Stacy

    Jen will hang out with Courtney and have glasses of wine and get horny and go to John’s place for some hot sex.

  4. Jenn

    dude. look at poor john mayer. grandma aniston has been toting him around. he needs to start banging a model or something.

    he looks so sad. maybe THAT’S what fuels his angst-ridden guitar solos.

  5. Moniker

    He looks like a puppy dog being drug around by a leash. Controlling? Not Jen…

  6. Cuntfusion

    Why so glum looking?

  7. Randal

    Dearest Jen and John,

    The clouds will pass and the sunshine will warm the spirit of this season in that sexy Mexican climate you are retreating to. Don’t let the stress of New York get you down, as it is only a temporary, fleeting emotion that is fleeting (as long as you stay on your meds).

    You two have such a bright and wonderous future together. Run on the beach. Get drunk under the stars. Skinny dip in the cool ocean waters. Then you will be able to lay naked under the moonlight, fuck each other’s brains out and forget all about the past year. Just think, you will have all of 2009 to plan, with your whiley publicists, for new and memorable media opportunities.

    Thank you for the wonderful clips you provided in 2008. And, I look forward to chatting again in 2009.

    Happy New Year from all.

    Randal

  8. Well whacha gonna do? she does wear the pants,,,unless you put your foot down,,,,

  9. Shar

    There is something very strange going on here. She stayed at his place in nyc 2 weeks ago. Now they aren’t even sharing a hotel suite?

  10. Shar

    There is something very strange going on here. She stayed at his place in nyc 2 weeks ago. Now they aren’t even sharing a hotel suite?

  11. KimberWolf

    I blame the haircut.

  12. Is Randal Insane?

    I personally don’t see what John sees in that old bitch.
    Randal take your meds man.

  13. Linda

    John Mayer is use to being single and Jen is still getting use to it so it is a great arrangement to be able to leave anytiime you want and get some space to hang out with friends or be alone.

  14. lola richie

    I think they are both happy. I don’t know how I would look with camera bulbs flashing every which way. Maybe she is just trying to make herself happy and ignoring the tabloids.. perhaps you shoud do the same

  15. Earl of Clothes

    I’d like to glaze her donut.

  16. Damn! Her hair looks GOOD!

  17. uker

    they look happy , they’ll be spending NYE together.
    why can’t people just be happy for her? what is wrong with everyone? seriously??

  18. mmm

    I CAN NOT WAIT FOR THIS BREAKUP

    HE LOOKS GAY

  19. Harry

    “Mayer and Me”

  20. Julie Ann

    Just don’t see the appeal of her. At all. Never have..and probably never will. The whole John Mayer thing is just bizarre..if I were him I would RUN.

  21. uker

    more comments from jealous assholes who have no love in their lives.
    sad

  22. dude

    Sweet comments fish…ceiling fan…DAMN good stuff. Happy New Year to You.

  23. 18, 22=courteney cock…

  24. Name

    If their relationship is a publicity stunt, john’s getting tons of free coverage too.

    If it isn’t a publicity stunt, it should be.

  25. Jack

    The reason why John looks sad is because he is getting sued for copyright infringement by 3 separate people.

    John stole Curtis Mayfield’s “We’re A Winner” for his “Waiting on the World
    To Change” , Curtis’s son Kirk is suing the crap out of him. (google it)

    John is also getting sued by some guy who writes jingles (yes radio
    and TV jingles) and also writes music for the ‘WEATHER CHANNEL”
    yes the Weather channel. John actually stole a weather channel song
    and put words to it.. no joke! (YOUTUBE IT)

    The company that represents Radio Head is seeking litigation against John
    for lifting Radiohead’s “Karma Police” for his song “Victoria”. John even
    made his defense worse, as there are numerous live videos on Youtube
    of John Performing his “Victoria” and then playing for a few lines and
    doing “Karma Police”, Just proves where he took the song from.

    Janie Hendrix (Jimi Hendrix’s step sister) who is head of the Hendrix
    estate is also not too happy with Mayer and his label for royalties never
    paid from John’s remake of “Axis:Bold as Love”. Janie was also tipped
    off by Hendrix fans that John lifts a lot of parts of Jimi’s songs note for note.
    Janie mentioned in an interview how John basically stole Jimi’s “May this Be Love ( Waterfall)” and wrote his song “Gravity” to it and even left a lot
    of the guitar parts exactly the same. Even on sheet music it is identical.

    So in other words, the jig is up and John is screwed! Does not look
    good for him.

  26. This Poster

    Anyone posting after This Poster sucks on John Mayer’s penis and swallows

  27. Millicent Jones

    Mmm. It was good.

  28. BJ

    So John’s getting sued. No wonder he is sticking under Jennifer Aniston’s ass. He is going to be short of money. Well I see Jennifer got him owned and paid for.
    Douche bag got to work as CAA Escort Boy. He seriously need big money. He sure took those song. I heard him playing them.

  29. NY Ted

    I hear the dog Marley is up for an Academy Award…??? After all…it was the fucking dogs that did the only “good” acting in the movie…!!!

  30. Jake

    Thanks Jack, I didn’t know Mayer was getting sued. I went to Youtube and checked. I see why he is getting sued. It did sound like he rip their music.
    I see why he is trying to break into TV. He is so busted. That’s why he is all over Aniston and she keep leaking out how much money she has. Asshole needs money.

  31. Erica

    To bad she had to front with a man, pull someone else name in and stripe her clothes off. Still the dog was the biggest draw.

  32. Let this kid find his own friends!!
    (in the faggot-society, for instance?)

  33. Pat

    Mayer is a hack.

  34. Dee

    I didn’t know Mayer was getting sued. They sure are keeping that quiet. I knew his song sounded like that Curtis Mayfield song and he was into Jimi Hendrixs but I thought he might have already paid them. Imagine that.
    I see why Jen is putting him in a house down the road with his brothers. She can dog him any kind of way. He is just a broke something looking for publicity so he can stay in Hollywood and Jen needed publicity for her Beethoven’s rip off movie.

  35. Alan

    It’s time for Jen to drop John.

  36. will

    Happy New Year! I’m an open minded girl from US, I’m interested in exotic things, photography, dating and sports…
    I have my photos on — Tallhub. com —, I love tall guys!
    Do you love traveling and have some experience? Just find me out~~

  37. Barry O

    Oh My GoD ThEy’Re LiKe RoYaLtY!!!!!!! ShE’s LiKe AmErIcA’s SwEeThEaRt!!!!LOLOL ***giggle giggle giggle***

    Seriously, enough on the Janiston shit. Who the fuck cares. Ad revenue and all, their PR money isn’t worth it, Fish.

  38. Aniston has still got the right stuff

  39. Colin

    All Aniston got is pr agents working their ass off to keep her name in the media. All of the phony media leaks are pathetic. To bad Jen needed a huge pr team, buy a man and strip naked. All that sure is not talent.
    To bad John stop depending on his talent. I use to think he had talent but I was wrong. He turned out to be shit. No wonder he needs Jen’s money and her pr team.

  40. snackmix

    She can do better.

  41. sweets

    its so over isnt it

  42. Robyn

    That was soooooo freaking funny! Grammy to the person that wrote it!

  43. Cedric

    Mayer is an f**king loser. I see why he is trying to hitch to Jennifer Aniston. Shit head can’t even write his own music. It’s was so funny when Jennifer couldn’t even remember the name of his lame ass song.

  44. zagge

    i don´t beleive they have break-up i love to se jen and john together love them

  45. zagge

    i don´t beleive they have break-up i love to se jen and john together love them

  46. To bad she had to front with a man, pull someone else name in and stripe her clothes off. Still the dog was the biggest draw

  47. she is very beautyfull. ? love you jenifer

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