Jennifer Aniston proposes to John Mayer

October 22nd, 2008 // 53 Comments

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer’s recent reunion apparently came with strings attached. Before entering her Shangri-La once again, John had to promise Jennifer they’d get married and start giving that bitch Angelina Jolie a run for her money. Star reports:

After a barrage of romantic e-mails from him, “she said that she’d only take him back if they got married, and he agreed,” says a source. “They both know this is it. She wants to settle down, and finally, so does he. They’ve even talked about having a family, and John said that he couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone but her.”

Actually, I believe this because here’s a short list of the insane things men will agree to just to have sex:

1. Marriage.
2. A baby. (Provided our passport is valid.)
3. A five-hour conversation about throw pillows.
4. Not inviting strippers over to play video games. (Sorry, Candy. I know you rock at Fable 2, but how hard is it to use a coaster?)
5. Torture. (Read: Pottery Barn.)

That said, if you think any of these things will transpire, A HA HA HA! Clearly, you underestimate man’s superhuman ability to utter “Sorry, baby, this never happened to me before” then fall dead asleep.

NOTE: This is also explains why I wear a cape.

Photos: Flynet

  1. anon

    I think they’re cute together, and wish them luck. But I have to think Brad’s comment ain’t too far from the truth. And I’m surprised no one is commenting on her abdomen looking a little bloated.

  2. John is such a dweeb. He had dinner with Anistons parents recently and acted like an idiot. He was texting under the table during the meal, according to one source.

  3. laila

    what about Jennifer Aniston? Forget that gorgeous hair. Forget that glowing tan skin and that perfect figure. Just look at the face. Long nose. A chin that could be used as a weapon,sunken cheeks,those super-close beady eyes,elephant size ears and horrible thin lips.her face actually looks like a pizza with cheese ripped off.its so amazing how Hollywood and media can brainwash people by calling somebody beautiful on TV and films who is actually is so ugly even after having so much surgery.

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