Jennifer Aniston Not Pregnant

December 15th, 2005 // 20 Comments

*c is for cookies, that's good enough for meJennifer Aniston has laughed off reports she is pregnant with Vince Vaughn’s baby. She said the baby could be anyone’s (note: she didn’t actually say that). But she did say the following:

“You know what? If all these (pregnancy rumors were true), I should have had 10 babies by now, married five times. I swear when it happens, you’ll hear it.” In magazine In Style , Aniston admits it took nearly a year of “hard work and soul-searching” before she was ready to date again. She said “You just wake up one day and you start to feel like, yeah, I think I’m open to that now. I hope to be on the road to having a family in the next year. Ideally, I’d like to have a couple (of children), but who knows?”

You hear that sound? It’s Jennifer’s biological clock, and it’s ticking. She missed her chance of birthing an Ubermensch with Brad , and it’ll be interesting to see what happens if this thing with Vince Vaughn doesn’t work out. She could be on the first steps of a very long downward spiral, eventually ending in drunken, back-alley sex with a total stranger. A stranger named Carrot Top.

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  1. emazing

    I really don’t think it could get any worse than ending up in an Alley with Carrot Top. Unless it was ending up in an alley with Gary Coleman, Corey Haim, GALLAGHER, Charro, Janice Dickenson, KEVIN FEDERLINE……
    I could go on and on….oh, this just in……….K Fed is ALREADY in the alley.
    I like Jennifer! She’s just as cute as a speckled pup! And as soon as Vince Vaugn gets rid of those pesky protruding nose hairs, I will love him again, too. Cause he’s dreamy. I mean that. He is. Honest!
    ANGELINA JOLIE SHOULD BE SHOT IN THE FACE WITH A CROSSBOW, just for being the SERENE FACED, NO ASS, HYPOCRITE she is. And I say this..before Jennifer Anniston was EVEN IN THE PICTURE. Or Brad “Stinky” Pitt. He STINKS and he can’t act. So there.

  2. Pink216

    I love Jen, but the public will soon get tired of her whining pity party. Don’t get me wrong, I cried through the Vanity Fair article, but it’s time to discuss other things. Her ex has adopted a more physically beautiful woman’s children. They are in love. Time to move on, Jen. I hate Brangelina, but it’s just getting pathetic.

  3. nichole

    Yesh, I am getting tired of Jennifer Aniston, too. That one dude was saying how Jess Alba was overrated–Jennifer Aniston is another one. Her personal life is getting boring. And that’s bad considering I love celebrity gossip.

  4. scientifically, this theory works out. brad realized he could get someone hotter and jen realized that she can’t. maybe she should follow angelina’s lead and adopt, lest she have some nipply, carrot-topped children.

  5. julema

    iam happy that brad and Angelina didn’t respond to Jennifer by the media…they look to me more intelligent. Brad and Angelina do their things, they seems really in love they seems to have a lot in commons and Angelina is so much beautiful then Jenn!!! So good luck to them. And if jennifer wants a couple of children She should thinks about it before!! ( she’s 37!?)

  6. MortyFishbein

    Jenniefer Anniston oughta be glad Brad left her for Angelina. It put her career on the fast-track! People actually talk about her now. The last time this woman got any news was when she married Brad and the instance before that was that damn haircut, “The Rachel.” Bitch, you just got 15 more minutes. And if you are pregnant, you get 5 more.

  7. ~S.Starr~

    Looks Looks Looks Looks Looks…

    COme on now..”good I am glad he left jenn for angelina cause she is way hotter” Im sure angelina being “hotter” wasn’t the reason he divorced jenn. On the flip I am sure he didnt marry Jenn because she is hot. These people are normal…the do marry for more than looks ya know.

  8. ~S.Starr~

    By the way…Team Aniston WOOT

  9. HollyJ

    Has anyone else noticed that when a famous person spawns, the ex of that person suddenly wants to spaw?

    Ben dumps JLo and knocks up Garner. Now JLo wants a baby.

    Brad dumps Jen for a family with Angelina. Now Jen wants 2.

    Does rejection send the clock into hyper overdrive?

  10. cap077

    Has anyone seen Jennifer’s GQ cover? That beats any Mangelina (that is not a typo) picture I have ever seen.

  11. Linnea

    Please never bring up the name Carrot Top again. I’m going to go to bed now and pretend like this interlude never happened. Kthanx.

  12. sammygirl

    Initially I felt bad for Jen. It’s hard to have a painful and humiliating divorce showcased in front of the world. And it doesn’t help that the other woman is a hot mama. But enough with the pity party Jen. It all seems so contrived now. Like, “whoa is me, please be on my team. blah blah”.

    Get over it Jen.

  13. ~S.Starr~

    Except for the W interview and the appearance on oprah I don’t see her playing the “pity party” at all. All of the reports in the tabloids aren’t her “milking” this it is the media. The media is taking her pictures all over town (which aren’t posed as you can see) and the media keeps writing all this “whoah is me” crap. Don’t blame jenn b/c the media is fixating on this…it isn’t her fault…HELL she even sued some guy for taking pictures of her on her back porch!

  14. sammygirl

    Actually, I do blame Jen because celebrities often don’t do things by accident. If Jen is walking on the beach with a Vince Vaughn t-shirt, that isn’t by accident. If reports come out about her burning her wedding dress, it isn’t by accident. If a celebrity gets photographed leaving the Ivy, it’s not by accident. My point is that celebrities often use the media to send messages to both the public (e.g., “I’m the victim here, Brad is bad”) and to their exes (e.g., “Brad, I’m so over you, see how great I look and feel”). If Jen truly wanted peace and quiet, she’d do what other big celebrities like Julia Roberts or Jodi Foster do. Stay out of the limelight completely and avoid places where papparazzi show up. The topless pictures are a different issue entirely, and this is why she’s suing the guy. But I don’t see her suing anybody else for taking photos of her kissing Vince Vaughn or even older photos of her and Brad because after all, in those cases that was good publicity. Jen knows exactly what’s she’s doing. She’s very good at promoting herself and advancing her career.

  15. ~S.Starr~

    Once again…following me into a post and commenting on my posts. You should make a job of this…because it seems to be all you do with your time.

    Until you comment on my next post…SMOOCH!

  16. sammygirl

    Oh, I’m sorry Starr, I didn’t realize you were the gatekeeper of this website and any commentary regarding your posts is considered “following you”. I’m not the only one who thinks you talk out of your ass.

  17. ~S.Starr~

    You seem to be the only one who posts a response directed specifically to me on almost all of my posts…coincidence, I think not. Especially since there are a few others who share my opinions and you don’t seem to be taking up residence in their asses.

    AND YES…I AM THE GATEKEEPER…PROBLEM?

    Get a life…what are you 13.

  18. sammygirl

    No, actually, I’m 14.

  19. I love Jennifer! She is pretty, sweet and honest. I love the way she have been acting true all this. And I know she is much more than a ex-Brad girl. She is Jennifer Aniston, a good actress wich life is just beggning. Wait for her. We’ll heard a lot of her yet. Believe me. And, Jen, you’re lovely and you have a lot of fans that adore you, like me, and wish you all the best. She moved on, the people didn’t, bus she is in three new movies and she is prettier than ever. And, by the way, who told that a woman with 37 years old can’t be a mother? I’m sure Jen will be a great one and her baby will fell that worst to wait!

  20. eyekandi

    what are u ppl! there is no word bad enough to describe aznyone who hates anyone ever!..espcially jenn! is it her fault that shes famous! and that shes followed everywhere!…if she wants to burn her freakin wedin dress its up to her just like any other woman who wants to do that…so she shouldnt just cuz shes famous! isnt she human! GOD GROW UP! AND GET A LIFE!
    GO TEAM ANISTON!

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