Jennifer Aniston loves wearing bikinis

May 5th, 2008 // 125 Comments

Whoever cast Jennifer Aniston in Marley & Me is my new Jesus. The film is shooting in Miami where Jennifer is guaranteed to be sporting a bikini at least once a week. This time around she’s got a friend with her (red bikini) who I’m 90% positive is John Mayer. In the meantime, some of these pics aren’t focused very well, but with boobs, quantity is always better than quality. I mean, who cares if they’re in-focus, out-of-focus, sepiatoned, or attached to a trucker named Ralph you met last night at Arby’s hundreds of women you meet every day while racing Lamborghinis in a ninja suit.

Thanks to Karl who could find breasts in the lost city of Atlantis.

superficial

  1. Mandy

    Jen tie up your bikini top straps and show some cleavage! Your breasts look awful when you don’t tie your straps.

  2. Jackson

    Is that Kim Kardaskank with Jen? Did Kim get a hair cut?

  3. ipa

    yipes, THE Karl, Fish??

    i guess his *Wang* is his detectometer to boobs …

  4. AJ

    #3

    It can’t be Kim Kardaskank because she is not covering her huge loose butt. Kim always covers her fat butt when she wears a swim suit.

  5. Ted Mosby

    Would do a Phoebe Boufette on her.

  6. Sam

    First/top picture, as well as the next 3 — the…thing…on the left. Wearing a bikini. Inexcusable.

    I know, all the female commenters will say that’s what a “real” woman looks like, blah blah blah, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….

    But, seriously, Fish: cut it out. Posting all those old hags was one thing, but this is unforgivable. I know it’s what the female commenters look like on their best days (god help us, we’ve become such a fat ugly country). But I don’t need to look at it.

  7. Randal

    Well, I do hope we start to see dear Jennifer in more important roles instead of just these bikini shots. Would be a real shame if that’s all she becomes known for as she ages and aging well if I may add.

    Her popularity from Friends vaulted her to a spotlight I do not think she’s ever been able to handle, a small town girl in small town roles. That’s not to say she wasn’t good in Office Space but lately she’s been in very little.

    Here’s a cheer from me to you Jennifer. Hope things turn around for you!

    Randal

  8. DB

    7, you’re obviously gay for looking there.

  9. BarelyStearn

    Bacon! Uhh…I mean first…? Oh screw it! Hey! By the way: John Mayer looks freakin’ hot in that bikini! That is one hot piece of ass! John – when you’re done with Jen – call me. Seriously, you have my number…right…?

  10. My Throbbing Cock

    Here’s a cheer from me to you Jennifer. Now turn around and bend over.

  11. Cynthia

    Jennifer really puts a lot of work into all this. First she uses all her extra time – you know, all the free time she has because she’s too self-centered, neurotic, and bitchy to be able to maintain a relationship – into working out, so she can be one of those older woman hardbodies. I’m sure nothing jiggles, but also nothing bounces either. Then, just in case she won’t look hot enough by herself, she convinces a seahag friend to put on a bikini and be photographed in the same shot, to provide extreme contrast. What a cold-blooded bitch.

  12. American Women are Ugly

    No shit. I have been all over Europe and this country is filled with the ugliest ladies I have ever seen. And they are cunts. And over weight with terrible attitudes. They do not seem to understand their natural place and that is serving men.

  13. peeps

    Very true #2. I think that every time i see her bikini pics. I mean get a FLATTERING strapless if you are so afraid of tan lines, she has decent boobs but squashing them like that is horrible looking.

    I gotta say I’m not a fan, but her body is tight, she looks great! I bet Skange doesn’t look half that good in a bathing suit, what with her boniness, giant veins, sickly paler, stick arms and legs and stretched out pregnancy belly. Seriously guys and girl whop would you rather be right now, miss than lying on the beach in Hawaii looking tanned and toned or a pregnancy water retaining pretentious mother of four with one on the way.

    And don’t you go saying Angie’s a great humanitarian and all that shit, humanitarian don’t have limo drivers and $10,000 purses. NO ONE in Hollywood is a good person but at least this bitch is having fun and being honest about her champagne and caviar lifestyle.

  14. havoc

    Oh hell yeah….she’s fine as hell. Anyone who doesn’t think so is gay.

    The only thing better would be Kim in a a bikini with Jennifer.

    Any gay postings after this is unecessary…..Fish can’t show Doogie Howser all day.

    .

  15. dude

    Y’know, this bitch just doesn’t do it for me

  16. Harry

    This woman is living proof that you don’t need to be particularly beautiful or talented in order to be successful. She is mediocre in every way, but yet she’s considered glamorous and famous, just because she got lucky and wound up with a plum role on a popular tv series. That’s either inspiring, or depressing, to all the struggling actors out there.

  17. VelociT

    ARE WE LOOKING AT THE SAME PICS? Leathery skin, saggy deflated boobs, wrinkled, boyish ass, and still fugly as can be. Aniston is like Spears, quite possibly the most overrated looking celebs around.

  18. Truth

    She’s boring.

  19. Zaxby08

    #15 is soooooo desperate. Virgin fatty for sure.

  20. Mia

    #14

    The first time I saw Angelina in the award winning movie Gia; I thought she had the best natural body I’ve ever seen, and I’m 100 percent straight. I knew she would be a star. Yes Angelina has millions but she takes the time to do humanitarian work. Imagine how better the US and the world would be if all rich people did humanitarian work.

  21. stinky

    #17. Her face is mediocre, her body, considering the fat, unhealthy, lardos that populate this planet is not mediocre in the least, her body is fantastic. Also it’s not bony and sickly like some bitches that come to mind. This turds is what a hot body looks like, when you say “Kim kardashian isn’t fat what you want her to look like Nicole Richie?” No fools kim kardashian should be as tight as anniston, she’s have more boobage and certainly more ass but it should all be tight tight tight. this bitche’s body is the top 5-10% of women. FACT.

  22. Jackson

    #15

    It would be cruel to put fat Kim Kardaskank with fit and tight Jen. Kim would look obese if Jen and Kim were seen together.

  23. Wendy

    Somebody should have photoshopped the other woman out of these pictures. And, while they were at it, photoshopped a little talent and personality into Ms. Aniston. Nice life she’s got – what’s this, about the 10th set of photos here where she’s spending some quality time by herself? Once she finishes her new house – the one with mirrors for walls – she should finally be happy.

  24. pistola

    for however old she is (i’m guessing around 35), her body looks amazing. go to your nearest beach, gather all the 35 year old women and then compare them to jennifer aniston… get a grip on reality.

  25. aiisrigged

    how come jen is never around any hotties in any of these bikini pictures?
    always around middle aged women that have birthed 3 kids or more.
    suposed to make her look better i guess.
    what a pampered life she leads too. jolie was serving food to starving kids, jen was laying in the sun with servants waiting on her every want.

  26. Eric

    #25 – “go to your nearest beach, gather all the 35 year old women” in the U.S. – let’s not over-generalize. Women in other countries haven’t let themselves go, become fat pigs by age 20, and then spend all day eating and braying that an unattractive fat body built by self-indulgence is “normal.”

  27. Linda

    -> 25 – Other 35 year olds have had children, actually work for a living, and don’t have personal chefs, nutritionists, maids, and on and on.

  28. Doc

    @25

    You raise a great point. 70 percent of Americans are 30 or more pounds overweight. US feeds most of the world and the Americans just eat too much and make excuses for being fat like I’m not fat, I’m curvy or it’s better than looking like a boyish figure model. US has the highest overweight related diseases like high cholesterol, diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease. It makes me sad to see fat children with their fat/obese parents because the children have been taught an unhealthy life style. It has got to the point where Americans are praising Kim Kardashian for being fat and lazy and depending on girdles and body shapers to look decent. Jen looks fabulous for her body type and she requires no girdles, body shapers, or a sarong.

  29. spooner87

    Having kids is the NO.1 reason that women lose their figure. My sis-in-law was a goddess next to Aniston, then had 4 kids and now she is like most everyone else on the beach.

    Remember Aniston was a chubbo b4 she lost 30-40 pounds to try and get famous. If she had even just one baby I bet she would looke like the rest of the mothers too.

  30. ph7

    Ugh. Another old flabby, saggy woman.

    DO NOT WANT.

  31. Rick

    Her career is a flop except for lucking out on a TV show, and she’s done nothing at all in her personal life – no marriage, no kids, nothing. If she wasn’t going to do anything worthwhile after “Friends” or start a family, she could have done something with all her time and money – an actor’s studio, a production company, or – much better – a charity. Instead, she collects fine whines. Yeah, what a beauty…

  32. deacon jones

    blah blah blah

    Ive got some GTA IV to attend to baby! PEACE

  33. Roger

    Somebody should show some compassion and throw that thing next to her back into the water.

  34. kid

    lol john mayer!

  35. kixlmate

    is that a tumor on her left thigh? lotsa sun will help :p

  36. secybirch

    I love you #12 #18 and #32 (although she does co-own a production company I think) Why does American media sell this woman as a perfect gorgeous beautiful woman and the best we have??? And you know what ladies, ANYONE can have a flat toned stomach with self-discipline and exercise. It’s not that hard. Mine is flat and I have two kids!

  37. Bahamamama

    Vanity: thy name is Maniston. Bet she”d need therapy if she got a tan line on her shoulder.

  38. 1998

    I prefer Angelina’s body. Jen looks ‘healthy’ but she still has some fat on her….. like her legs.

  39. Sara

    +BOBFOC+

    B ody
    O f
    B aywatch
    F ace
    O f
    C rimewatch

  40. Doc

    #30

    Females lose their shape after having a baby because:

    They were overweight before they got pregnant and gained too much weight during pregnancy.

    They were at an ideal weight before pregnancy and gained too much weight during pregnancy.

    They did not exercise regularly before getting pregnant.

    They did not exercise regularly after having the baby.

    Your sister had 4 kids and this definitely can cause the breasts to sag and a protruding stomach, but if she was at her ideal weight before pregancy for all her pregnacies and did not gain excessive weight during her pregnancies then she would look better than 70 percent of Americans. She might need a girdle for her stomach or butt but that is to be expected for some.

  41. Fred

    Her aging muscle-body seems to be appealing to the closeted types. I’m sure if you checked in their cars you’d find every Madonna album.

  42. yougottabeshittingme

    Randal,
    All day you’ve had the fruitcake meter at about 11 and we’re going to need you to dial it down to about 2 or 3. Come on now. Thanks. And no need to type your name at the end of your comment if it’s written right above it.

  43. Paris Hilton's Penis

    @21. The first time I saw Gia I thought Angelina had one of the loveliest faces I had ever seen but I found her breasts saggy her waist wide and a little plump (especially when she was wearing her boyfriends underwear and), her ass flat, body wise she didn’t really impress me. When I watched friends (which I found mediocre I thought Jennifer Aniston especially as the seasons progressed had one of the best bodies I’d ever seen, but I thought her face was awful and weird. if only they could switch.

    it would be nice if all wealthy people contributed as much as Angelina does (I don’t deny she’s done some good but so has Oprah and Oprah has seven multi million dollar mansions).I would love to see Angelina really come full circle with her generosity and adopt a more reasonable lifestyle, you can still have a great life without having private planes and many purses in the $100 range look stylish (just giving examples). The wealth that she and Oprah (and other “humanitarian”) keep for themselves is sickening and they did NOT earn it. Life is not fair or balanced and the hardest working people in the world often struggle to put food on the table so you don’t earn millions and you aren’t entitled to them, you just luck into them. It’s easy to give it’s MUCH harder to take less.

    Angelina Gia pics

    http://www.thenewsvault.com/cgi/img.pl?h=10&t=1068&f=angelina_jolie_nude5

    http://www.thenewsvault.com/cgi/img.pl?h=10&t=1068&f=angelina_jolie_nude1

  44. pistola

    @ 39

    angelina is thinner than jennifer… but i guarantee than if u had both of them naked in front of u, you’d be able to see that jennifer looks far better. angelina is basically a skeleton with a waist too wide for her frame- plus, she’s got a flat, grandma ass.

  45. Andy

    You guys are nuts!!! Are we looking at the same pictures??? Sure, his body is a little bit girlish, but he’s got strong masculine lines and lots of character in his face.

  46. plaz50

    GTA IV ?//

    I am jellus. I still play san andy

  47. dude

    fuck.

    I’ve got this alcoholic slut mother in law named Sharon Brisbin.

    She still insists on wearing bikinis.

    She’s 74.

    Her tits look exactly like this. Nice TITS ANISTON!!!

  48. stillfuckingneedaps3:(

    Sheet I need a GTA IV too.

  49. #39. Really??? LOL. Here’s Angie in a bikini in her PRIME before babies and the development of her super veins. He stomach is THICK she has love handles and gangly AWFUL arms. Granted she wears a more flattering bikini top but she and jen have the same sized boobs and Angie has a very flat mediocre ass.

    http://www.celebrityfreemoviearchive.com/mrskin/angelina-jolie/angelina-jolie_22.jpg

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