Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer’s relationship ‘cooling off’

August 13th, 2008 // 100 Comments

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are “taking a break.” Apparently, John hit the brakes after all the baby talk. I guess nobody informed Jennifer Aniston that telling a dude you’ve only been dating for a few months you want kids is kind of a turn off. Don’t be surprised if John schedules an emergency vasectomy and flees to France. At least that’s how I roll. By the way, Oui! Oui! Ow, my stitches… Us Weekly reports:

“It is really a cooling-off, not this big, dramatic breakup,” a mutual pal tells Us Weekly in its latest issue, on newsstands now. “These are mature people who talk about things maturely,” the pal says. “It’s just slowed down. Who’s to say where it will end up, but now he has a lot going on.”
Another source counters: “If she said she wants kids and he’s not ready, that’s not being needy. It’s being honest.”

Since she got dumped on her ass, I’ve decided to help Jennifer Aniston with the healing process by posting pics of her wearing super-tight pants yesterday. I can’t help myself; I care too much. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Why so many shots from behind?” All I’m saying is “Why so many shots from the front?” I just slapped you silly with logic. You’re welcome.

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. Deacon Jones

    @37

    SOUNDS LIKE MY GIRLFRIEND

  2. ha ha. She is getting dumped on her ass because of the baby talk. let that be a lesson to you ladies!

  3. Jennifer Aniston

    YOU PEOPLE LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!

    WHY MUST YOU BE SO MEAN TO ME? I’M A LONELY GIRL, I NEED SOME ATTENTION.

  4. punk

    #47 chill out you freaking psycho

  5. cbs16

    @23 – I saw Mayer in Ohio last Month – AWESOME SHOW. I had a great time. Check out the Clapton Crossroads Guitar Festival DVDs for some amazing guitar work by Mayer.

    @33 While it is true his CDs are MomRock, his live playing is simply badass! Don’t knock it until you hear it. Youtube “John Mayer Clapton Guitar” and check it out.

  6. Jacci

    Let this be a lesson ladies….stay away from John….he fawns all over them…tells them he can’t leave without them…they fall and he runs.

    The reason it’s the same story different day is she is picking the wrong men…scratch that boys!!! C’mon Jen leave the trash on the corner where it belongs.

  7. maniston

    #54. Yawn. Ya being able to write more than a sentence is really psychotic. Are you the president of her fan club?

  8. trixy

    Damn that girl got ass. She needs to stop fucking around with these silly white boys and get herself some flava.

  9. Ted from LA

    Madonna should do the humane thing and buy her a baby for her birthday.

    #47- That’s some funny shit.

  10. Andrea

    Usually I assume celebs were always crazy, even before they were famous, then I stumble across somebody like #47 and I realize we have to consider the possibility that it’s a type of self-defense.

  11. Michelle

    She deserves to be happy already!

  12. literarycritic

    @#47: Damn, did you have to write a novel about it? This isn’t Shakespeare, it’s a tabloid story about dumb people leading their equally dumb lives. Save the lengthy textual analysis for your college literature class.

    @#60: Good point.

  13. Deacon Jones

    @58

    (pukes in mouth)

  14. Rant

    She looks good, but nut as good as the early “Friends” years. She still had little junk in the trunk, and curvy hips.

  15. Rant

    Laughing at my own typing/proof reading skills………”She looks good, but nut as good”

  16. Lola

    WHAT A SHAME…. ALL THAT FUCKING MONEY, ADMIRED BY ALOT OF PEOPLE AND WORLD-WIDE FAME AND THE ONLY CONSTANT COMPANION SHE HAS ARE HER DOGS….. WHAT A SAD SAD LIFE…. BUT I CAN’T BLAME HER THOUGH…. THAT FOOL PLAYED HER HORRIBLY AND THE WHOLE WORLD WAS THERE TO SEE IT…. THAT’S REALLY MESSED UP…. SHE NEEDS TO FIND HERSELF A NON-CELEBRITY WHO GOT SOME MONEY AND A GOOD HEAD ON HIS SHOULDERS…. LOOK AT HALLE BERRY… HER BABY DADDY IS A CELEBRITY BUT NOT A HUGE ONE THAT MAKES EVERYDAY TABLOIDS OR NEWS…. THEY GOT THEIR DAUGHTER AND HALLE’S HAPPY…. I’LL KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS JEN…. JUST TAKE SOME TIME OFF AND STOP ACTING IN CRAPPY ASS MOVIES BACK TO BACK…. SHIT, NOT ONE GOOD MOVIE SINCE “BRUCE ALMIGHTY” AND “FRIENDS WITH MONEY”

  17. Blah

    she’s got great legs, but those shoes look ridiculous. And I thought she had more of an ass too; where’d the bubble go? She must have exercised it right off.

  18. fugly maniston

    she is hideous. i hate her big sausage nose and beedy little eyes that are too close together, and that awful jay leno chin! her face looks old here.

  19. typical superficial loser

    OMG she’s FUGLY. Looking at her makes an Adonis like me barf. By the way, I am God’s gift to women.

  20. DirtySanchiz

    I see 3 hot bitches in picture 5.

    THOSE DOGS CLEARLY LOVE PEANUT BUTTER.

  21. reply

    she is definitely showing her age. she has chubby inner thighs and a little muffin top.

  22. reply

    she is definitely showing her age. she has chubby inner thighs and a little muffin top.

  23. Zukyia

    I bet she wished she got knocked up for Brad now huh…haha…payback’s a….well you know how the story goes.

  24. Narcissist

    What a silly looking outfit.

  25. Ian

    I’m so glad Jen can do so much better.

  26. Mike

    I don’t get it. I personally think she’s very attractive. And she could cut glass with those constantly hard-on nipples. Sure, the media portrays her as seriously needed, but unless she’s secretly bat shit crazy, why can’t she keep a man? No, seriously? She’s hot, keeps herself in good shape. Maybe she’s just plain ‘ole nuts or something.

  27. Anonimoose

    44. Jackson’shole – August 13, 2008 2:41 PM

    To all of you Jen supporters–If she’s so perfect and gorgeous and sweet and wonderful, why can’t she keep a man around? It just doesn’t add up. That’s because this woman is obviously very flawed. Maybe she has herpes.

    **************************************

    Nah, she just hasn’t met the right man. When she does, they’ll click and that will be that.

  28. spo

    maybe he got tired of her flashing her nips all around town. His music and her nipples have gotten me through some very tough times.

  29. JPRichardson

    I’d make a baby for her in a minute. Well, make that twenty minutes.

    Honestly, if she wants a baby so badly, go get pregnant with a good sperm donor and have your fucking baby. You’re a bitch and you’ll never have a normal family anyway!

  30. JPRichardson

    …and honestly speaking, for someone that spends $85+ a year in beauty treatments she doesn’t look THAT beautiful. Has she done something to her face recently? She looks different…

  31. Toejammn'

    Who gives a shit about this unhappy psycho bitch?Order a fucking kid from overseas like the other lonely celebs or start doing porn.Just go the hell away.

  32. venomhed

    HAHAHA! TOLD YA ALL!

    Kids are a lose lose situation for men these days.

    1. Loud kids running around.
    2. The expense
    3. Your sex life ends due to your woman getting what she wants.
    4. Your sex life ends due to your woman getting fat!
    5. You cheat on her, get caught, child support.

    Kids suck, period. You lose your life so they can gain theirs!

    LOSER!

  33. Lawrence44

    John Mayer is busy with dating wealthy and beatufiul ladies at Richromances.com what happend to this couple?

  34. BWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHA

    that is what she get
    trying to pressure him into marriage! OH WELL!

    maniston!

  35. Large Marge

    #72 – There is no muffin top. You must be blind or retarded. Or did you hit the daily double and are both?

  36. dude_on

    If their relationship ultimately crashed, but also spawned an opportunity for Jen to show her ass in tight pants then it worked for me.

  37. Venomhed sucks

    Golly you’re bitter. No, all women don’t get fat after they have kids and it isn’t getting “what they want”. It’s a natural desire and instinct but it isn’t the be all end all to our existence. Most men want kids too. Yes, they are somewhat expensive but then they are worth the rewards. They are a huge challenge, but challenges help us be better people if you let them. You, on the other hand, are all about taking the easy way out, whoring around, having zero responsibilities, and sitting in front of your computer in your room at your mom’s house at age 28. People like you shouldn’t have kids, thank you very much. Plenty of couples raise kids and have good marriages. They are not mutually exclusive. Lots of women bounce back quickly after kids. I was always back in my size 5 jeans within 2 months of giving birth. WHoregelina Jolie is an example, and lots of women in Hollywood are xamples. They take the time to educate themselves about diet and exercise. it doesn’t take money, it takes determination and discipline, period, no excuses. Again though, don’t ever have kids please!

  38. venomhed

    @87

    take the dick shaped crack pipe out of your fat mouth and come back down to reality. Most women can’t afford a personal trainer and wind up looking like Oprah after a kid.

    Don’t try to make having kids seem like this wonderful thing, it isn’t. Kids are too much work, take too much time, cost too much, and you completely give up your life for them.

    You, having kids, are a selfish kunt too. Now we have to endure yet another bottomless mouth to feed. Yet another 100,000 diapers from your stupid kid filling up land fills.

    Why is it that blacks and other minorities always have 5-20 kids and whites have 1-2? Because of wellfare benefits and pure stupidity.

    Do us a favor. Kill your kids then your self, you will be doing something better for the whole of the human race than continuing to breed and poisoning the planet with your kid waste.

  39. tc

    She looks fantastic, great proportions, money etc. We can only speculate on why she loses guys:

    1. Doesn’t do anal
    2. Doesn’t give head
    3. Doesn’t enjoy being fucked. Dry pussy.
    4. Doesn’t do ass-to-mouth
    5. Full time miserablist with no sense of fun
    6. Too controlling.
    7. All of the above (my ex girlfriend)

  40. zagge

    i hate john. he is a bigger liar and a shit. Why are so many people evil to Jen. Jen is cute and she is nice.She will have child. hope that never see John in new papper anymore. He must be guy.Hope he met a girl how really make him hurts som very much taht he crying
    loves you Jen
    hope yoy met a really MAN how can take care of you and give you a child

  41. reply

    #85….quite the contrary….must have sharp eyes to spot it on her left side in pic4…..I did say “little”…..

  42. Elslin

    Look at her ears, she’s an alien. THE PROOF IS OUT THERE!

  43. #55

    I did not appreciate John until I heard his Continuum CD which is nothing like his popular pop CDs. Yes his pop songs are great, but I’m into rock, blues, and jazz. John has proved himself to be a great musician by writing, playing, and singing his own music. I look forward to more of his Continuum CD type music. And I agree with you that John’s live playing is fabulous! I also love John’s sense of humor.

  44. Capers

    OCDC – could your nose be any FURTHER up Mayer’s ass? Geeeezzz…..have a little taste why don’t you…check out Damien Rice……

  45. OC Dee

    #94

    I checked Damien Rice a bit on youtube and he plays great mellow music, but does he play any blues or rock? My point was I enjoyed John the best when he plays blues and rock music. What songs do you like the best of Damien Rice and why all the harsh words? You can certainly make a point without being rude and crude.

  46. Back to the FAGGOTS.
    be sure: BOTH!!

  47. venomhed

    #89

    Spot on. No man would cheat on a woman that would full fill that awesome list you have.
    That’s why I go to Southeast Asia and South America where women are women, not fat, dominat, big mouthed slobs like they are here.

    Bravo post! You have the initials of my brother…. hmmm?

  48. Dana Kamasutra

    #97
    Good looking men or men with power cheat because they can. It has nothing to do with whether their main squeeze satisfies them or not. You prefer desperate women in poor countries because you are not man enough or mature enough to handle an attractive, fit, educated, and successful career woman.

  49. Capers

    #95

    You are right and I apologize….I think I just loathe John Mayer for some reason and I wrongly took it out on you…..I am impressed that you took the time to check out Damien…..He is mellow, but I also think he is bluesy…….the Blower’s Daughter, Cannonball and Cold Water are my faves…..That was nice of you to ask….

  50. roop

    I wouldn’t mind making Friends with her! (mwahaaahahahahah)

    See what I did there? Friends, she was on a show called “Friends” and now I said I wouldn’t mind making “Friends” with her? Get it?

    That’s comic genius people…comic genius.

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