Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer’s relationship ‘cooling off’

August 13th, 2008 // 100 Comments

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are “taking a break.” Apparently, John hit the brakes after all the baby talk. I guess nobody informed Jennifer Aniston that telling a dude you’ve only been dating for a few months you want kids is kind of a turn off. Don’t be surprised if John schedules an emergency vasectomy and flees to France. At least that’s how I roll. By the way, Oui! Oui! Ow, my stitches… Us Weekly reports:

“It is really a cooling-off, not this big, dramatic breakup,” a mutual pal tells Us Weekly in its latest issue, on newsstands now. “These are mature people who talk about things maturely,” the pal says. “It’s just slowed down. Who’s to say where it will end up, but now he has a lot going on.”
Another source counters: “If she said she wants kids and he’s not ready, that’s not being needy. It’s being honest.”

Since she got dumped on her ass, I’ve decided to help Jennifer Aniston with the healing process by posting pics of her wearing super-tight pants yesterday. I can’t help myself; I care too much. Now I know what you’re thinking: “Why so many shots from behind?” All I’m saying is “Why so many shots from the front?” I just slapped you silly with logic. You’re welcome.

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. mimi

    FISH HEAD SUKS!

  2. mimi

    Britney ROCKS!

  3. syn

    Couldn’t possibly care less.

  4. mimi

    And MIMI is the BEST!

  5. pistolita

    great ass.

  6. I’d throw that dog a bone! Not jen, the dog. Thats one cute jindo!

  7. Ted Mosby

    Kids would hurt Mayer’s street cred.

  8. rough daddy

    Can someone put this bitch out of her misery and knock her up already…

  9. Ted from LA

    It surprises me to see that a man got sick of Jen. She seems so sweet in a really bitchy whiney kind of way.

  10. PALS

    Staying single is common nowadays , but get marriage a wrong person is a big shit ! Jen has just washed away a big pile, naturally she has to more careful.

  11. Ted from LA

    Look at picture #5 carefully… even her dog doesn’t like her.

  12. pistolita

    ugly old lady face

  13. Capers

    Yeah, uh, who couldn’t see THIS one coming from 10,000 miles away?! Jen, baby, you should have known better…to call John Mayer a dog is an insult to all dogs, so let’s just say he is not even worth a second glance….he is just plain YOOGLY……ick…..

  14. My advice to Jen, it’s time to go gay and get some seed from a sperm bank.

  15. smithers

    WE WERE ON A BREAAAAAKKKK!

  16. Sway

    I’d be more than happy to have children with Jennifer Aniston.
    Get at me.
    John Mayer is a dickhead anyways.

  17. Deacon Jones

    Personally, I’m stumped folks.

    The last time a girl told me she wanted a kid after banging me for a couple months, I simply shrugged my shoulders and said “HA! Why not?!”

    I just dont get what he was thinking.

  18. veggi

    She should adopt one of those gook babies, they’re really cheap, like maybe two dolla. Two dolla!

  19. ktb

    Why do so many men (Brad, John, no name model guy-shacking up with Cameron Diaz-just to name a few) like the smell of “Desperation” by Aging Hollywood Actresses?

  20. Sunflower

    HA HA! Now she knows how Brad Pitt felt. Can you say KARMA?

  21. Roderick

    Veggi ur the biggest racist on this site. Go fuck your white hand till it bleeds.

  22. She needs to stop putting out on the 15th date… that’s problem right there.

  23. Forget Jennifer and post pictures of my man John Mayer! I absolutely loved John’s recent summer concert in Irvine, CA. I loved his play list and he can jam on the guitar too! John got a buzz hair cut which he debuted at his concert in Irvine and he still looks fabulous! I love tall, smart, good humor, talented, and nice looking men like John Mayer. You guys can say anything negative you want about John, but he has talent because he can write, sing, and play his own fabulous music and he also does great music covers too! I enjoyed watching John jam with Eric Clapton the other day on VH1.

  24. Sandy

    Gonna vom. Shoulda scrolled. Thx 23.

  25. punk

    I can donate a few evenings to knock her up as long as I don’t have to pay child support.

  26. literarycritic

    “These are mature people who talk about things maturely,” the pal says. “It’s just slowed down, in a totally mature way. Who’s mature enough to say where it will end up, but now he’s so mature that he has a lot of mature things going on in his mature life.”
    Another source counters: “If she said she wants mature kids and he maturely can say he’s not ready, that’s not being maturely needy. It’s being honest. And mature. Did I mention they’re both mature people with mature thoughts who talk about things maturely?”

    Ah, I crack myself up.

  27. Ferdinand Narcos

    This gal is a complete idiot.She loses a woman to what was,at the time ,the hottest woman on the planet(I still don’t seei t),appaarently because she didn’t want to have kids,and Angie Waxlips would pop out Brad babies left and right,while adopting half the third world.

    So what does lil” Jen do in response?She chases every guy after Prettyboy went away by demanding they pump her full of baby seed.

    Fucking smart,what?

  28. Spanky

    I would spooge all over her face and in her bunghole on Sunday.

  29. 21st century digital boy

    I have yet to see a picture where Jennifer Aniston looks happy.

  30. veggi

    “Veggi ur the biggest racist on this site.”

    Sweet!

  31. Capers

    To #23 OCDC
    Since you are obviously an obsessed stalker Mayer groupie, you could probably get with him if you get close enough to his stage, raise your top and throw him your cell phone number ….then you, too can know what it feels like to be screwed over, used and played….John Mayer is ICKY and he looks like he would smell……

  32. Beth

    Amy said Jennifer and John told her that they were taking a break to pray for Mimi.

  33. Ferdinand Narcos

    #23-OCDee,you are a fucking idiot.John Mayer is a worthless pile of shit momrocker whose lyrics shouldn’t even be printed on toilet paper,because they’re not good enough to wipe one’s ass with,his singing ability is slightly better than A Jonas Sisters,and he looks like the guy everybody assrapes in county jail.

    Sit down and shut your whore mouth,men are trying to speak.

  34. stu

    30 = the biggest moron troll that never says anything funny. yes, go fuck your self til you bleed.

  35. poon tang

    Jennifer, marry me…

    i don’t care if your face looks a little funny

    i would bathe in all that money you have.

    MARRY ME JENNIFER

  36. Karma

    #31 & #33

    I bet you guys don’t even have the balls to say what kind of music you like. You guys have misguided anger and you guys need mental help. You are picking on a stranger and this is creepy!

    Good Luck!

  37. noneyabeezwax

    she keeps gettin dropped cause she sucks in bed. she thinks she can still get by on her looks and that may work for a month or two, but a lousy lay is lousy lay. you can’t hide that.

  38. Bond, James Bond

    Two words for ya, Jen… “SPERM BANK”.

  39. Cankles

    She is a beautiful example of what women should look like when they get older. She used to have fatty legs and cankles (calf-ankles) and look what yoga has done to her. Hotness. All you cankle women should get surgery or do yoga.

  40. LaraCroftsmole

    Sad bitch puts vacuous insignificant but lucrative career before family and ends up desperate, chasing the clock. Hmmmmmmm thats an original story, not ever seen or heard before in Hollyweird.

  41. EuroNeckPain

    Super tight pants and super tight skin under her chin. It looks bizarre.

  42. Pat

    She gave up anal and then he left. He’s Ben Affleck in Mall Rats.

  43. Miserable Bastard

    Chin up, Jen. If all else fails, Larry King will probably be single again soon.

  44. Jackson'shole

    To all of you Jen supporters–If she’s so perfect and gorgeous and sweet and wonderful, why can’t she keep a man around? It just doesn’t add up. That’s because this woman is obviously very flawed. Maybe she has herpes.

  45. fixed

    Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer’s relationship ‘cooling off’ as John realizes once again that he ‘prefers men’

  46. rumble grumble gurgle roar

    could we please get jennifer to dress up as lara croft and schedule a front kick photo shoot?

  47. fucking ridiculous

    Does this woman like humiliating hersefl??? All she has left that can give her an ounce of pride is her body, which is hot, she’s almost always well dressed and her hair is nice enough. Everything else is ABYSMAL.

    Why oh fucking why did she do that stupid pittiful vanity fair interview and whine on Oprah’s couch? She should have followed Nicole Kidman’s lead. That woman kept her mouth SHUT. Notice how after Tom ditched Nicole right before 10 years of marriage BTW (which he did for financial reasons) that everyone realized Tom Cruise isn’t the nice little dwarf people thought he was, so since Nicole didn’t feel sorry for herself publicly and throw giant Oprah ass pity parties everyone felt bad for her and people started ( NO COINCINDENCE) to dig up dirt on Tommy boy and now all these years later, she has an Oscar, a husband and a child. The husband may be an alcholic country singer( oh wait that was redundent), but I don’t see any free Keith t-shirts out there so they’re doing alright.
    Cruisy on the other hand is known as the BATSHIT MUTHA FUCKING CRAZY KING of Hollywood, people fear for the safety of his beard ( I mean “wife”) no one believes that cute child is actually his and he seems to have transformed a once hot young lady into a MAN. He is the laughing stock of THE WORLD. So I think that is plenty of proof that Jen should have kept her YAP shut and tried to live low key (do the celebritards know how to do that?).

    FACT: Tom Cruise became a target right after he dumped Nicole.

    Jen also should not have become a serial dater. I mean does every guy you meet have to be your next boyfriend and JOHN MAYER??? Did you really think that would end well woman? I mean for the hate of Paris Hilton what the fuck was she thinking. This douch won’t get married until he’s fucking 50 at least. He’s ugly as sin, stupid and smug and useless, but somehow women seem to love him.

    I can’t stand Jen or Brad and Veingy (have to mention that everytime since few seem to comprehend that you can hate them all) but Jen just makes me deeply embarrassed for my gender. I mean fuck woman quit fucking embarassing yourself for cripes sake, what’s wrong with this broad anyway, is she THAT bitchy? Jesus at this rate she’s gonna have to marry Oprah or sumthin. At least then she’ll have tied Brad by marrying the other biggest female ( I use the term loosley) meglomaniac phoney humanitarain most controlling bitch on the planet.

    Someone please fucking marry this woman have some kids with her and stay with her it’s getting PITTIFUL. (pun intended).

  48. Multi-Paragraph Comments...

    …are fucking ridiculous

  49. EuroNeckPain

    And #30 Veggi was a very expensive baby, high maintenance gulping down 3 packs of junk food an hour – lots of Dolla – and now she is a thirtysomething fat bitch looking 50, convinced that her country is the best.
    Can’t blame her though – if people of her kind stop believing the myth, the US might suddenly enter civil war. Can you imagine that, all those fatties wearing baseball caps suddenly awakening to the truth, the terrible state of their country, and actually using their weapons, North against South, rednecks against blacks, etc. Wow that would be something.

  50. fucking ridiculous

    Don’t feel bad because you can’t read #48. Hooked on phonics can’t work for everybody. Now get back to practice, the Special Olympics wait for no one.

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