Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer: Yeah, why not?

April 28th, 2008 // 93 Comments

Move over, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal, there’s a new boring couple in town! These two had not one, but count ‘em, TWO meals together in Miami over the weekend. Not only that, but salad was involved. Get the fuck out! Alert the press! Oh, wait. Us Magazine reports:

“They were affectionate – definitely touchy, feely,” a source told Usmagazine.com about their dinner. “The room they ate in was almost empty. They both drank Belinis.”
Their lunch “definitely seemed like a date,” a witness told Us.
“He had a sandwich,” the onlooker said. “She stole some bites and nibbled on a salad.”

I’m pretty sure John Mayer’s guitar shoots Spanish Fly when he plays it because, otherwise, I have no idea how he manages to score so many chicks. I tried to make a similar contraption myself but, contrary to popular belief, women aren’t turned on by Pam Cooking Spray – fired from a tuba. It seemed good on paper…

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. ApacheRose

    Ohhh, wow.

    Yep, don’t care. The fighting amongst the commenters is much more interesting than the celebridiots, as usual.

  2. I quite like John Mayer’s music. Of course I quite like stripping, covering myself in Mrs. Butterworth and rolling nakedly on fire ant hills, but that’s just me…

  3. Jrz

    LOL LOL LOL LOL…..JEEE-ZUSS. None of that is remotely funny, Pixie. You’re what they call off their rocker.

  4. Linda

    I’m a big fan of Eric Clapton and Stevie Ray Vaughn and became a big fan of John Mayer after listening to his Continnum CD. John has proved that he is more than just a pop star but a talented blues guitarist as well.

  5. Poet Don't Know It

    @53
    I think Pixie was being honest with a twist of wit but you don’t get it because you’re a twit!

  6. Jrz

    BAH! John Mayer has proven that he’s a raging homo who tries to hide it by dating over-done hags.

  7. I’ve always thought people that felt the need to “lol” at the end of each sentence were just responding to the voices in their heads.

  8. Beav

    @JRZ don’t you know adding “LOL” makes it funny? Just like CAPS LOCK make the point valid. Just ask Danielle.

  9. Rachel

    John Mayer is a talented blues guitarist!

    I love him!

    Can’t wait to see his tall and sexy body in concert this summer!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-YaxiEo8Fg

  10. Jrz

    @55….I think I will have to be blunt and just go ahead and tell you that you’re an annoying cunt.

  11. Doc

    #60 has serious issues. I hope you get help soon.

    The sad situation with the Internet is people type things they would never say in public.

  12. #53 – I’ve always found threatening to kill their parents if they say a thing, just as I unzipped, was the funniest way to… oops my bad… this isn’t the Miley Cyrus thread…

  13. #61 – You misunderestimate me. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve gotten punched in the mouth for telling a poindexter like you that his mother is a whore. But it’s usually after they bust into the room when I’m smacking my cock against her jaw screaming “why are you smacking my mother in the face with your enormous cock???”

    Good times man… good times…

  14. Beav

    @61 To quote Poet Don’t Know It: “I think JRZ was being honest with a twist of wit but you don’t get it because you’re a twat knob.!”

  15. Jrz

    The sad thing is some chump comes on to a place like this and tries to get all analytical and intellectual on a bunch of apes, myself included. The only issue I got today is morons. Lotsa morons. Okay, and boredom. And this extra large box of packing peanuts that I don’t know what to do with……..Okay, maybe I do have serious issues….but who are you to discriminate against a person with issues? Are you one of those kinds of people? One of them…..People With Issues Discrimiator Againsters? Shame on you…..shame on your great big freak stinky ass.

  16. Sampan

    Smack ‘er widda dick
    Smack ‘er widda dick

  17. yeah, speaking of eric clapton. check this awesome solo out (it’s been over-dubbed as a joke):
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_M9zWORBuA

  18. See what she’s doing with her leg?
    I also do that when I’m letting off a silent one.

  19. JONH MAYER ROCKS!

    ERIC CLAPTON ROCKS!

    JOHN MAYER ROCKS!

    SEE THEM PLAY TOGETHER!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zh4n1bZi4d8

  20. Jrz

    Eric Clapton Rocks!
    John Mayer Rocks!
    See them make a baby together!!
    http://derekaudette.ottawaarts.com/images/forum/BrianPeppers.jpg

  21. goawaymrmayer

    Gross! Why do these women date him? He’s not attractive and my guitar sitting idle on its stand has more talent than him.

  22. JOHN MAYER IS HOT!

    JOHN MAYER IS HOT!

    I WANT TO KISS JOHN MAYERS FULL SEXY LIPS!

    I WANT TO RUN MY HAIR THRU JOHNS THICK WAVY HAIR!

    I WANT TO WATCH HIM PLAY IN CONCERT WHILE SITTING IN FRONT ROW!

    JOHN MAYER IS TALL, TALENTED, AND SEXY!

  23. boy do I got issues

    HAHAHAHAHA.
    JOHN MAYER IS A FAEG!
    I WANT TO KICK JOHN MAYER IN HIS BIG FAT MOUTH!
    I WANT TO RIP HIS GREASY HAIR OUT IN CLUMPS FROM THE ROOTS!
    I WANT TO SIT IN THE FRONT ROW OF ONE OF HIS CONCERTS AND MAKE LOUD OBNOXIOUS VOMIT NOISES INTO THE PA SYSTEM.
    JOHN MAYER IS A TALL, SKINNY DOOFUS.

  24. Auntie Kryst

    Boring couple, boring date..

    House salad with French dressing, steak (medium) with a baked potato for the lady. And for the gentleman, the same. Would the couple care for a second glass of house merlot??

  25. JOHN MAYER FAN

    DEAR JOHN MAYER:

    I KNOW YOU READ THE GOSSIP SITES AND THANK YOU FOR HAVING A CONCERT THIS SUMMER IN IRVINE CALIFORNIA.

    I LOOK FORWARD TO YOU PLAYING A LOT OF SONGS FROM YOUR CONTINUUM CD AND IF THERE ARE ANY NEW BLUES SONGS YOU ARE WORKING ON, PLEASE PLAY THEM AT THE CONCERT THIS SUMMER.

  26. Sapphire

    I thought denim cut-off shorts went out in the 80′s.

  27. FAN OF BEAR TRAP THAT GETS JOHN MAYER FANS

    Dear Bear Trap that Gets John Mayer Fans:

    I know you are just a bear trap and don’t read gossip site but I want to thank you for tearing through places that John Mayer sells out venues this summer, particularly Irivine, California.

    I look forward to you tearing John Mayer fans legs off while they listen to his gay-assed fucking music. If you have any other interesting tricks you can do to lower extremities of this army of poontangs, please let ‘em rip at the concerts this summer.

  28. Sex Nuts & Retard Strong

    Mayer won’t even be able to touch the sides of her vagina with his tiny penis after Vince Vaughn wrecked her. I mean, he’s like 6’7″ and Mayer is still trying to find platform shoes that fit. The best thing for Jennifer Aniston to do is give up wearing clothes for a month or two. I realize that has nothing to do with John Mayer, but it would sure as hell make me feel better.

  29. jane

    pic #6 has a Newfie in it! that’s the most exciting part about the newsflash.

  30. lambman

    Um, when did Jennifer Anniston become a slut? Its mildly interesting lol Orlando Bloom and now this? She must have a thing for d-bags who date skanks

    I thought she looked hot in that pic until I noticed its because hair and plants are covering her face

    Manniston and J. Simp, John Mayor surely like the manly ones huh?

  31. lisabeller

    Why they always think about Vence whenever mention Jennifer? Vence is dating a super model on a millionaire club ” M I L L I O N A I R E L O V E R.C O M ” where the millionaire & celebrity have romance!

  32. cong

    Anniston has the best tits!!

  33. sameshitdifferentyear

    I really hate that I’m about to say this, but Jennifer Aniston looks really really fucking good in that main pic.

    Wow.

    You can see the torpor in that face still, but fuckin-damn, she must be photogenic or something, I’m actually able to ignore the endless vortex of apathy.

  34. nella

    You know what makes me really happy? Yeah, Angie stole her man, but these days, she looks twice as good as Angie. Actually, she looks better than most 20 year olds.

  35. Quick note Jen, in order to be a MILF you have to have had a kid. It’s not like you haven’t had the material to work with. (BP)

  36. edgar suit

    Rachel and the King of fag-rock together at last…….spewww

  37. kevin

    Dear God what has she done to her frigging face????? it seems as if she has injected some fat under her cheeks? does she look better with plump cheeks? HELL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  38. Toolboy

    Jen-
    Only I can fill the void left by Brad, only I can stop the hurt. Call me.
    Oh and for all those posting Jen would be a boring lay, here’s a little secret: next time you get a sleepa, try pinching off their airways unexpectedly, really livens things up for a minute or two….

  39. Eugthehuge

    Her face looks different… in a CREEPY way….

  40. Ma

    84

    This is because all Jen has to do is care about herself while Ang has to care for her kids and being pregnant which can be exhausting as any mother knows.

  41. spin SPIN

    lemme tell you what happened:

    jenjen dand her agent ecided and handpicked ewwwww mayer.

    why?

    1) more tab covers (cause bikini azz cheek “candid”
    shots aren’t cutting it anymore, every week we see new
    ones, have you noticed?)

    2) cannes being around the corner, angelina expecting
    + two movies to premiere at cannes

    3) they would plant the story, “romance” would be at
    it’s peek by cannes YET they would stay discreet until
    then and one day before cannes BAM!!!

    4) they thought minivan would like this america’s
    sweetheart going the cougar way story.

    BUT one point was miscalculated. he is the WRONG
    CHOICE!!!

    minivan didn’t appreciate what eww did to Jessica
    simpson esp. during her tough –newly divorced times.

    minivan remembers his blogs and what he wrote about
    her.

    minivan remembers his love for golden showers.

    AAAND his famous perez hilton kiss while JS rubbed his
    crotch!

    excuse me, I’ve got to throw up now.

  42. spin SPIN

    ** jenjen and her agent decided

  43. lola

    I would like for JA to find happiness with a man after Brad Pitt left her. Am I the only person who thinks Brad Pitt is ugly? Ugly as sin and worshipped for being hot??? :(

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