Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer: Yeah, why not?

April 28th, 2008 // 93 Comments

Move over, Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal, there’s a new boring couple in town! These two had not one, but count ‘em, TWO meals together in Miami over the weekend. Not only that, but salad was involved. Get the fuck out! Alert the press! Oh, wait. Us Magazine reports:

“They were affectionate – definitely touchy, feely,” a source told about their dinner. “The room they ate in was almost empty. They both drank Belinis.”
Their lunch “definitely seemed like a date,” a witness told Us.
“He had a sandwich,” the onlooker said. “She stole some bites and nibbled on a salad.”

I’m pretty sure John Mayer’s guitar shoots Spanish Fly when he plays it because, otherwise, I have no idea how he manages to score so many chicks. I tried to make a similar contraption myself but, contrary to popular belief, women aren’t turned on by Pam Cooking Spray – fired from a tuba. It seemed good on paper…

Photos: Splash News

  1. JoBOO


  2. I’m sure my wife and I are much more boring than that…..

  3. JIMBO


  4. Deva

    Ok, is Jennifer Anniston the best he can do? I mean do you REALLY want to be where Vince Vaughn has had his mouth?
    Microwave just beeped.

  5. Ted Mosby

    Damn, I wish I spanked it when Friends was on.

  6. Vince Lombardi

    Amazingly boring story about a 39-year old actor with average looks and average comedic skills.

  7. pinky_nip

    Fucking Jennifer Aniston would put a coke head, chugging Red Bull, to sleep.

  8. ghg

    nice jorts!

  9. pak31

    Does anyone else find it kind of gross how the stars seem to all date each other?? I think everyone has dated everyone. In the end they all will have slept with each other in a round about sort of way. Nasty.

  10. The Pope

    So Superficial is taking Scientology adverts now.

  11. pinky_nip

    I think a dead fish would fuck back more than she ever would.

  12. pinky_nip

    You’d get more pleasure from popping bubble wrap.

  13. pinky_nip

    Did someone say “thunder thighs” are in the weather forecast?

  14. zuzuspetals

    John Mayer is disgusting.

  15. OTMarine

    “Did someone say “thunder thighs” are in the weather forecast?”

    uh…yea…real fatty there, isnt she? What a maroon. I’m sure you’re the epitome of fitness.

  16. OC Dee

    I enjoy reading anything about John Mayer. I’ve been a huge fan since listening to his rhythm and blues Continuum CD. John Mayer is also involved with environmental issues. I think he is funny, sexy, and very talented. I like tall men and he has thick wavy hair and full kissable lips. I look forward to seeing him in concert at Verizon in Irvine this summer.

  17. poop man


  18. LL

    Haha, #9. Ew, true.

    WTF? Thunder thighs? #13, fuck off.

  19. Well clearly you guys are ALL Barbra Streisand fans,
    because I would T-to-the-A-P that.

  20. LL


    you forgot to mention what a complete douche bag John Mayer is. His immense talent aside, he’s the epitome of asshole. (besides Dustin Diamond, of course)

  21. pinky_nip

    Gee whiz… sorry guys…. I remember when this place USED to be called the Superficial and USED to have funny commenters.

    I forgot now it’s called… Awwww…… don’t pick on the celebutards… because they’re tho spethial!

  22. woodhorse

    Jen must not get paranoid when she smokes.

  23. Harry

    Denim shorts are a fetish of mine, but she makes even that seem dull.

  24. NO because YOU'RE UGLY

    I am all for ugly people with bad personalities getting together, that way they won’t corrupt any of the good genes pools with their loser genes. Plus what would the world be without ugly people to make the beautiful people feel superior?

  25. Jackson


    I post negative comments when celebrities deserve it like worthless no talent Kim Kardaskank and Paris Herpes. I have nothing negative to say about John Mayer. He puts on great concerts.

  26. veggi

    awww, pinky, I thought you were on a roll like a Kim K at a bakery..

  27. Jrz

    Little sensitive to the thunder thighs comment, LL? What’s LL stand for, anyhoo……Lard Legs? HAHA!! LL means Lard Legs! LL means Lard Legs!!

  28. Jrz

    OTMarine…..we know the O is for Obese, but what is the T for? Cunt begins with a C………..I’m so confused.

  29. Prof

    How to describe my level of interest in these two luke warm celebs? In the immortal words of Gary Coleman, “…Meehhhh!”

  30. Jrz

    My kid burps his ABCs better than John Mayer can sing a song. John Mayer is about this close *holds up fingers less than a millimeter apart* to being through.

  31. bandwagon jumper

    twat, twit

  32. Oh pinky_nip, I remember you. I was wondering why I just got aroused… do you do children’s parties? Seriously, my friends and I are not above dressing like 5 year olds if you play topless clown with us…

  33. NO because YOU'RE UGLY

    #9. YEP, it’s called The SEX Degrees of Hollywood. Every famous person is connected through six or less people by the simple act of bumping uglies. Mmmmm YUMMY STD’s for everyone, plenty to go around!

    That’s why if you ever go crusing for celebretard poon you gotta triple wrap your dong, then after doin the deed scrub it with sand paper and turpentine and then rinse it with Mr.Clean. It’ll hurt like all mighty fuck, but it’ll learn ya to look but NEVER TOUCH, they don’t call ‘em attention WHORES for nuthin.

  34. AJ

    @30-Perhaps you should get your son motivated to do something useful like learning to play an instrument; instead of being a rude slob! John Mayer paid his dues for success. He practiced playing everyday in his room and now he totally rocks with talent!

  35. sweets

    he would be so lucky the twit

  36. Jrz

    Yeah, I bet John Mayer practiced every day in his room…..practiced the fucking skin flute!
    What’s AJ short for? Ass Jabber? Anal Junky? What? I dunno.

  37. BA_Baracus

    That’s no moon. It’s Jennifer’s surprisingly large ass. I’d tap dance on that wit a quickness.

  38. Beav

    @AJ–its sad that you know so much about a celebutard, you should maybe, you know, go outside once in a while and put down the D & D dice.

  39. Pixie

    39–You probably like rap crap or top 40 music, so you are clueless about what qulialty music sounds like when a talented artist like John can write, sing, and play his own music.

  40. Pixie

    39–You probably like rap crap or top 40 music, so you are clueless about what QUALITY MUSIC sounds like when a talented artist like John can write, sing, and play his own music.

  41. Jrz

    I think, perhaps, I shall motivate my burping genius son to help rid the universe of tools like AJ…..

  42. DragonBoy

    I’m customizing my own set of D&D dice. Its hard to get the play dough just right.

  43. Jrz

    Pixie, you probably stutter in real life, too, and have a hare lip….so just shut the fuck up.

  44. mollasses

    well i personally don’t find john mayer attractive, but i’m still surprised to hear people go on about how ugly he is – i think he’s quite generically good-looking…no? boring,bland, but not ugly surely? and jennifer aniston is only ‘ugly’ in comparison to the plastic celebs out there. Compared to most women you’ll meet in your life, she’s gorgeous. i mean you’d probably faint if a girl with that body walked into the room – thunder thighs my arse! i’d kill to look like that. unfortunately i look like cybill shepherd. circa 2008 *covers ears from screams*

  45. Beav

    @ Pixie, I wasn’t convinced by your first comment, but now t hat you posted the same comment again only this time IN CAPS, I am!

  46. Jrz

    Yeah, we’d faint alright., #45…Aniston’s big fucking nose would suck up all the oxygen in the room………….

  47. HUH?

    Isn’t John Mayer Top 40?

  48. Beav

    JRZ, I bet she’s Jewish.

  49. Pixie

    44–If you only knew you would be pleasantly surprised lol!

    You probably like Christina Aguilar music lol!

    46–I sent my comment again because I did a major typo lol!

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