Jennifer Aniston called up People today to set the record straight that she’s not engaged to Vince Vaughn. She says in an angry interview:
“I’m not engaged and I don’t have a ring and I haven’t been proposed to. Normally we don’t even acknowledge these things because they’re endless, at this point, the thing that got me was that I was getting phone calls from Greece! My Aunt Mary in Greece is getting accused of lying! I mean, they’re getting angry. My dad calls and he says, ‘Honey, it’s on the CNN crawl,’ and I’m going, ‘Wait a second!’ When it starts to travel over into the Today show and CNN and supposedly reliable and accurate news programs, then you just go, ‘This is insane. People are getting fed a lot of bull. I don’t feed into that. We (her friends) don’t talk about it. We don’t hash it out because it’s not true. The only reason I’m saying something is because if we’re listening to the news, we’re supposed to be believing in the news. Tabloids are going to lie all the time. You
firstfaggots | August 16, 2006 at 7:28 pm
first, faggots!
semicongal | August 16, 2006 at 7:30 pm
who cares!
Alice-Mary | August 16, 2006 at 7:42 pm
I can’t believe she actually thinks anybody cares about her status with that Meat-Sack she calls a boyfriend. The paparazzi are doing…what they do. You should be used to it, dumbass.
scoos | August 16, 2006 at 7:42 pm
Oh god, does this mean we’re going to get more Greeks talking about how they invented oxygen?
trophywife | August 16, 2006 at 7:42 pm
i am so there with you ‘fish dude…. i can’t stand this pathetic ugly self centered bitch.
TEAM JOLIE
LL | August 16, 2006 at 7:45 pm
First, what rock has Jennifer been living under that she still thinks the news tells the truth? Jebus, the news has been about 85% bullshit since about 1975 (or maybe earlier, I’m estimating). Newspeople (TV newspeople, at least) are among the stupidest and most incompetent of all the media. I’d believe something I saw in “Snakes on a Plane” before I’d believe anything on CNN or Fox. They’re a bunch of dummies and anybody who watches TV news and believes it is even dumberer.
Second, why don’t celebrities just lie their asses off about shit like this? “Vince and Jennifer, are you married?” “Yeah, we’re married. See ya.” Anybody who matters in their immediate family will know whether or not it’s true and anyone else who gives a shit is a loser and no one should care what they say. So Jennifer Aniston is dumb. Sorry, Jen.
“So to go on a little power trip and critique the media for not accurately reporting about her love life makes me want to dropkick her through a window off the top story of a skyscraper. Ideally landing on top of a helicopter. Filled with bears.”
Heh, good one…
arieschic | August 16, 2006 at 7:47 pm
obviously people do care whether she is engaged or not. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many people talking about how they are supposedly engaged and Jen wouldn’t be so upset right now that nobody will stop talking about it and spreading the rumors that they are engaged. She also wasn’t trying to compare the news that she is engaged to Vince to other world news, she’s trying to say that it is ridiculous that the story that her and Vince are engaged is reported on the same program where there is supposed to be more serious, accurate news.
redsonja1313 | August 16, 2006 at 7:47 pm
Good….. Go TEAM JOLIE!!!! She has success, money and a funny boyfriend and she still seems to be a misrable “cunty” bitch. I hope Vince publicly dumps her on her bony ass. Maybe she will find the kabbala or something and sweeten up !!!!!!!!
jane's eyre | August 16, 2006 at 7:51 pm
Since when does CNN announce the details of celebrities’ love lives in their crawl?
DOW JONES UP 5 POINTS. HEZBOLLAH LEVELS NORTH ISRAELI TOWN WITH BARRAGE OF MISSILES. HUNDREDS FEARED DEAD. METEOROLOGISTS FEAR UPCOMING HURRICANE SEASON WORSE IN RECORDED HISTORY. JENNIFER ANISTON AND VINCE VAUGHN ARE ENGAGED.
Heroin Dave | August 16, 2006 at 7:52 pm
So who’s overreacting more … Jennifer Anniston or The SF? You sound angrier than she does. Fix up your hair a little nicer and I’m sure one day Vince Vaughn will propose to YOU.
headlights | August 16, 2006 at 7:52 pm
C
jane's eyre | August 16, 2006 at 7:55 pm
Caption for picture:
“All in good time, my little pretty, all in good time.”
scienceguy | August 16, 2006 at 7:55 pm
*******************************************************
Ask the Science Guy, Ask the Science Guy
*******************************************************
The Star Ship Enterprise emerges from a time warp into an orbit around the planet Earth in the year 2020. Mr. Spock scans his sensor screen and reports back to Captain Kirk:
SPOCK: Sir, I can see the humanoids driving around in primitive vehicles.
CAPTAIN KIRK: That cannot be. This is the 21st century. They should all be driving small hybrid vehicles.
SPOCK: No, it looks like everyone is driving enormous, 4-door, 4-wheel-drive, heavy duty, pickup trucks. My sensors must be wrong. There is no way the people of this era could be using such inefficient, pollution heavy, vehicles. It is extremely illogical.
CAPTAIN KIRK: What part of the planet are you scanning Mr. Spock?
SPOCK: Right above the gulf region of North America in what used to be called, “Texas”.
CAPTIAN KIRK: Yes, of course, Texas. No, don’t worry Mr. Spock your sensors are reading just fine. If you would move your sensors out of the Texas region you will see that everyone else is driving hybrids. You see Texans (except for a group of young and very sexy female country singers) lived by the motto of a former governor who once said, “stick to your guns, a flip flopper is weak, stay the course, fool me once, you’ll never be fooled again”
SPOCK: Fascinating.
CAPTIAN KIRK: Yes, I know very fascinating. As I recall, there were two blondes and one brunette and they called themselves the Dixie Ladies or something like that. Maybe we can get Uhura to lock into their coordinates and beam them up for a little Captain’s party.
SPOCK: No Captain, I was referring to the idiots driving around in the super sized pickup trucks.
Binky | August 16, 2006 at 8:02 pm
I saw this already in ‘Wedding Planner’s Crasher’s School.’
No wait a sec…maybe it was in ‘Dumb and Dumber’…
UNWASHEDMASSES | August 16, 2006 at 8:02 pm
Sounds like Jen’s a bit touchy on the matter. Maybe because she hasn’t been asked and she keeps waiting…
random | August 16, 2006 at 8:02 pm
i dont get why you guys are hating on aniston anways, its not like she did anything bad, she just wanted to set things right. it’s not like we all hate reese witherspoon for suing that tabloid for reporting that she was pregnant. it’s all just false reporting, now lets get back to paris hilton/lindsay lohan hating, they deserve it for sure.
Wanna Pet My Beaver? | August 16, 2006 at 8:09 pm
dirty greek.
where is that bitch ass stacyy?
YoMamma | August 16, 2006 at 8:14 pm
I could really care less, but just for shits and giggles….
TEAM ANISTON.
I hate that slut Jolie even more than this pathetic whiner.
Im with #10….Superfish, you sound way angrier than Jen….do you have a man crush on Vince?
ImSuicidal | August 16, 2006 at 8:15 pm
@13 – Bill Nye, although your science jibberish is informative, we (as a collective group) feel it would be better suited here:
http://science.discovery.com/
That said!!! I rarely ever watched the show, but I thought Jennifer was the sensible “Friend”, who knew she was so thin skinned!!!
PunjabPete | August 16, 2006 at 8:19 pm
How the hell does one choose between a slut who sleeps with and steals husbands on her movie sets (Jolie – From Hackers to Mr./Mrs Smith – 3 hubs) or the coldest Goddamn Ice Queen this planet have ever known. Sarrah Jessica Parker is the only TV bitch I hate more than Aniston. I hope Jolie crashes her plane into Aniston who is jogging and this all comes to a halt…
TEAM AMERICA
EJ | August 16, 2006 at 8:24 pm
Jen needs to seriously take a chill pill. Like she’s not USED to being endlessly speculated about? Here’s a thought: If you don’t like the gossip, get out of Hollywood. Seriously. Preferably BEFORE another Jennifer movie that looks and sounds just like a lost ‘Friends’ episode.
ImSuicidal | August 16, 2006 at 8:24 pm
@16 – random (acts of forgetfulness)
Here are 99 people who “hate” Reese Witherspoon!
http://www.thesuperficial.com/2006/06/22/reese_witherspoon_sues_star.html
Read them all and then write 100 times:
“It’s NOT all just false reporting”
HolisticWisdomcom | August 16, 2006 at 8:25 pm
Oh come on Jennifer, we are so terribly interested in whether or not you are going to marry him we don’t care about facts or real news like starving children, war or seedy political dealings. Gosh! (Said in Napoleon Dynamite fashion).
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
LilBuckaroo | August 16, 2006 at 8:39 pm
wow. every once in a while, just for a minute, i forget how stupid the avergae human being really is. i’m not talking about aniston, i’m talking about you tards. I WORK AT A NEWSPAPER. YES, IT ACTUALLY IS IMPORTANT THAT THE NEWS BE CORRECT. Yes, there is an absolute and direct link between the American’ press inability to get celebrity facts and the quationable nature of reporting that comes through about Iraq. F-ing retards. Because, that’s right, you people don’t read the news do you? You didn’t notice that little flap about how the NY Times got in trouble for running a bunch of photos from the Lebanon conflict that had been blatently doctored with photo shop. Because you who either elected Clown Prince to be our president… twice. Retards. Get off your fat asses and go read a newspaper. Aniston’s right, you’re wrong, f off.
EJ | August 16, 2006 at 8:48 pm
LOL.
24, obsess much?
The point is that no one takes the news seriously when it comes to celebs. Not because the news sucks but because celebs lie their asses off TO the press. Frankly, I’m glad you don’t spend to much time fact-checking on Jenn. Waste of good reporting.
Wanna Pet My Beaver? | August 16, 2006 at 8:50 pm
@19 I quite agree. I’m still not sure what the fuck I just read when reading bill nye’s post. Nor do I care.
AmericanMcKrout | August 16, 2006 at 8:53 pm
#13- Please just go away. We don’t come here for Science Geek Bullshit, and scrolling past your drivel wastes my precious (ha) time.
#18- You said it. Jen is a second-rate actress at best and only moderately good-looking, but I f*cking hate Angelina fishy-crotch Jolie. I hope she gets tsunami’d or earth-quaked or dysentery’d during her next visit to BFE and we never hear of her again. (Or of Brad either, for that matter.)
ImSuicidal | August 16, 2006 at 9:13 pm
Let’s hope #24 spends more time on his newpaper route and his Huffy bicycle with the baseball card attached to the fender strut with a clothes pin intermingling with the spokes, then he does posting on the Superfish.
At least that way we won’t have to read his “LilBuckaroo” babble!!!
CelebSlam.com | August 16, 2006 at 9:40 pm
That’s quite the hairy pussy she’s got there
http://www.celebslam.com
Zanna | August 16, 2006 at 9:48 pm
She’s just pissed because he didn’t propose. Because now it makes her look like more of an unwanted loser. Basically, this means she sucks in bed and does not have the golden gant she pretended she had when she was on Friends. Yea, bitch..it was the HAIRCUT that made you famous..you can’t act good enough to keep up with a haircut.
And #24-just because you answer the phones at the place where the newspaper is made doesn’t mean you “work for the newspaper”.
And you can swear here. So I won’t say f-off. I will say FUCK OFF. You motherless piece of shit. And I fact checked that.
RichPort | August 16, 2006 at 9:48 pm
I hope they have a sex tape. I always had this dream that she would get fucked by a hairy sloth-like giant, her complaining the whole time about its technique, the giant grunting and snorting happily as it ate her hair. Yea, a sex tape is definitely in order.
#24 – I agree. Idiot celebrities cashing in on their weddding speculation and thousands dead in the Middle East… exactly the same thing.
jane's eyre | August 16, 2006 at 9:52 pm
How do we exactly get off our fat asses to go read a newspaper? I’m pretty sure that most people read newspapers sitting down. I once tried to read a newspaper while snowboarding, and I had an unexpected rendezvous with the trunk of a fir tree. Now I have to type with a stylus in my mouth. So thanks a lot for reminding me of that. Bastard.
trophywife | August 16, 2006 at 9:57 pm
fact checked… that was fucking golden zanna… kinda like your sweet ass ;)
i heart jane too… i spewed merlot all over my laptop.
some others on here need to get laid realllly bad or lighten the fuck up. yeah, i think the maniston is an ugly over-rated windbag, but that’s just me because i sorta feel sorry for her because she has to sleep with that fat hairball. ewwwwww
No1Zero | August 16, 2006 at 10:09 pm
She is by far, the biggest douche in the Universe. She needs to get off her high horse and do something good for humanity. Like sterilization. Instead, all she can muster up in that pathetic brain of hers is buying more shit. No wonder Brad Pitt left her shallow, skinny ass.
TEAM JOLIE!
ValeWolf | August 16, 2006 at 10:19 pm
What an idiot. We don’t fucking care about her life! We don’t care she’s dating ass face Vince to get over the hottest man she’ll ever get. Seriously, she needs to climb down of her stupid little cloud and realize that for INTELLIGENT people, she’s really very far down our list of priorities.
We don’t care who she marries.
We just like to make fun of her for being an idiot.
Grobpilot | August 16, 2006 at 10:22 pm
#24- If you’re going to shit on us and try to impress us with your “I work for a newspaper” bullshit, at least spell the word “questionable” correctly. Fucking retard.
Grobpilot | August 16, 2006 at 10:27 pm
Also, you should capitalize words when it is appropriate to do so. Otherwise, it just makes you look lazy and stupid. And I do think the media (radio, TV, print, all of it), lies their asses off and tells us only what they want us to hear, fuck the truth.
Danklin | August 16, 2006 at 10:54 pm
SF, i have to say you’re wrong on this one. She isnt being pompous or anything like that. She’s stating news casters/reporters should spend more time covering the facts and the horrible events around the world rather than play into what the tabloids spew out. She wasnt being egotistical at all.
Rylie | August 17, 2006 at 12:19 am
Angelina Jolie will always be better than you.
ER | August 17, 2006 at 12:46 am
Did someone mention Merlot? :)
funkyfeet | August 17, 2006 at 12:51 am
So basically what’s she saying is that Vince dumped her ass.
Warren Rose | August 17, 2006 at 12:55 am
Jen – how about you live your life and stop reading the rags?! You poor fucking soul.
____
GW Bush sleeping with Condi Rice?!!
http://cooterpunch.blogspot.com/2006/08/bush-and-condi-making-sex.html
HolisticWisdomcom | August 17, 2006 at 12:59 am
@ 24
You know, if you are going to act superior, you might want to spell AVERAGE, QUESTIONABLE and BLATANTLY correctly. You may also want to capitalize, and avoid incomplete sentences; perhaps an education might do you some good. I would also recommend avoiding calling people
junebug | August 17, 2006 at 1:05 am
I’d dump her chicken cutlet stuffed breasts too- salmonella is a bitch.
http://celebutards.blogspot.com/
HolisticWisdomcom | August 17, 2006 at 1:20 am
@ 42
Oh, Dub-ya and Condi are old news. What we really need is for him to get a blow job from an intern for people to take getting him out of office seriously. Apparently all the real problems he has caused is just not spicy enough.
ER | August 17, 2006 at 1:43 am
#24 – Clearly you’re not the Editor.
Binky | August 17, 2006 at 2:57 am
#24 – you are obviuosly not a #14 – so lose at least ten – and then call me…well…if you’re a girl…not that I’m deperate or anything…I’m just interested in meeting a few new people….well…ok…maybe not you… no offense…maybe try bowling…
AmberDextrose | August 17, 2006 at 5:42 am
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Ramblebrook | August 17, 2006 at 8:17 am
You hypocrites. “Nobody cares about Jen and Vince’s love life”? Then whose buying all the magazines and reading about that shit here? Cry me a river.
RichPort | August 17, 2006 at 8:54 am
Enjoy the attention while you can. You’re hot now, but you Greek chicks do not age well.