Jennifer Aniston is not a dude

September 20th, 2007 // 123 Comments

Okay, so a couple days ago, I might have suggested that Jennifer Aniston is a dude. I’d like to state for the record that I was drunk. But now I’m a different kind of drunk. Love-drunk. I would totally do things to her. Things that would make Jennifer Aniston so pregnant, she’d give birth to a small nation. Which Angelina Jolie would then adopt. That would be so hot. Oh man, imagine if Angelina gave all those kids ridiculous names. No, no, that’s just too hot. Don’t touch the screen! My words will burn you with their hotness.

Photos: Splash

  1. betenoir

    Isn’t this site named after her?

  2. nagger please

    She has beautiful hair.. female yard apes must hate her… They’re stuck with pubes on their heads..

  3. Miss Jennifer Aniston

    I have moved on with my life and no longer care if people hate me, I like myself
    I like to be alone , i like to eat food alone and travel alone and sleep alone and talk alone and I don’t want a husband and I do not want 5 different colored kids.

  4. skinny hot btch

    MAN-ISH!!! that’s a fcking dude.

  5. torso

    jennifer peniston? i doubt it. looks good to me.

  6. jennifer aniston is drop dead gorgeous anytime anywhere!

  7. jenna your blind or retraded or it is opposite day

    angelina – one of the best most perfect faces in the world
    aniston – ugly squint eyes big ugly nose ugly little mouth
    jenna you are fucking stupid. you prob like anisont cause you are fucking ugly like her.
    miss chinese you like her cause she has ugly squint eyes like you.
    whoever said angelina is 29. you are wrong, she is 32. and her face will age a hell of a lot better than dustin. aka chinnifer, jay leno, maniston

  8. don't give a shit

    wow, #82, now that’s a summary. AJ in a bikini must reeeeeeally be disgusting. I would be so glad if Pitt, AJ and this average chick Jen would completely disappear for at least say 2746 years.


    angie has an AMAZING barbie like face! while aniston has a better body her face is UGLY! she looks like dustin hoffman
    - no cheek bones
    LOOOOONG chin
    - NO LIPS
    - UGLY TINY EYES that are ttoooooo close together
    NOT CLASSY WHOEVER SAID THAT B4!!! classy is like catherine zeta jones or something!
    she has NO TALENT, can only play one character… and she is BORING.
    her face is not soft or pretty or feminine at all!
    … but shes rich so yay for her.

  10. Obi Strip Kenobi

    “classy is like catherine zeta jones or something!”

    yeeeeeeeeees.. release the hounds sunshine…

    no seriously if she’s a dude can we all be gay?

  11. i dont think she is a dude, but

    she pretty much has the ugliest face of any female celebrity. on

    compare her face with everyone elses. in particular the amazing beauty of the one below.

  12. uuuuuuuuh

    111 yes you can all be gay. she is an ugly jane

  13. stacks

    I think it’s clear that 90% of guys who read the superficial are gay. Jennifer Aniston does not have an ugly face, and shes better looking then any girl you’ve been with. She looks better then 80% celebrities and she’s not fake.

  14. 113 im a girl

    no, imo she does have an ugly face. i see how bigger and wider set eyes, smaller noses , fuller lips, and higher cheek bones are prettier

    i see prettier girls downtown often. i see uglier girls too. most people are not as well kept

    i think most celebrity females under 42 are better looking

    her body is good, and def better than most

    she has nice hair. even though she is getting a little to old to wear her hair like that

    She is kinda fake:
    she has had 2 nose jobs and still cant get it right
    she is too selfish to have children
    at 37 is a big time coke fiend
    she gets botox just like all the others.

  15. for 113

    i think people like to say she isn’t fake because she doesn’t have a very pretty face, and they feel bad for her because her husband ( that was out of her league) left her for someone more exciting.

  16. kelly

    where the hell did she get that plaid shirt b/c its SOOOOO cute!

  17. #116

    that shirt is ugly. you must be lez

  18. wild child

    i love her in the Ferris bueller Tv series, she was hillarious!!!!

  19. PM

    She is a godess. I would take her over any girl on earth

  20. jen

    sorry but brad definitely traded up…angelina’s a gorgeous, oscar winning, humanitarian that goes all over the world helping people and adopting kids so they can have a better life….jen’s done what? a stupid tv show thats been off the air 3 years and terrible films that she stars in because she thinks she can act- you can tell she’s completely self absorbed and obviously had a lot of surgery to even make herself marginally attractive- BRAngelina forever!!

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  22. chris

    gad!! i wanna FUCK D SHIT OUT OF DAT ASS!!!!

  23. efrain vega

    i think…..she looks great in those jeans….i bet she wears them that tight cuz she wants to show ass…ill smack dat shit

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