Jennifer Aniston is not a dude

September 20th, 2007 // 123 Comments

Okay, so a couple days ago, I might have suggested that Jennifer Aniston is a dude. I’d like to state for the record that I was drunk. But now I’m a different kind of drunk. Love-drunk. I would totally do things to her. Things that would make Jennifer Aniston so pregnant, she’d give birth to a small nation. Which Angelina Jolie would then adopt. That would be so hot. Oh man, imagine if Angelina gave all those kids ridiculous names. No, no, that’s just too hot. Don’t touch the screen! My words will burn you with their hotness.

Photos: Splash

  1. ph7

    Looking kinda old and mom-ish…

  2. yes lambman

    i agree with #50

  3. Idiot

    she still has great boobs ! look at the pic in the teeshirt

  4. if you don't agree with #50

    then i don’t understand you. you may think the sky is orange then, why not… or the grass is red… why not…. gary coleman is tall, rosie o’donnell thin… etc.

  5. Fag

    ph7 nothing wrong with mom-ish.

    Mother sucks my cock everynight and I get to cum in her mouth and then she kisses me with her mouth full.

  6. theredsnapper

    ehh.. i think you need to drink more..
    still homely as hell..
    long live jolie.. (please adopt me)

  7. jrzmommy

    Yeah, but can SHE cling to a palm tree for 12 hours like Petra? I think not.

  8. Texas Tranny

    Good one Jrzymommy

  9. JOE

    @27 is she so much woman that is more than one?

  10. Brielle

    What are you some frat boy? How many times can make up stupid irrelevant shit to add to a post. You aren’t funny! You sound like a hormonal 14 year old. Is it that hard to just post something without trying to sound macho. Like you could ever get a picture with Aniston, nevertheless “impregnate her with tons of children”….you are a moron. I wont touch the screen because it’s hot, but because my IQ will probably drop several points.

  11. Your Grace

    Yeah, she looks like a man… And with those words I banish all of you to the 9th circle of hell for eternal damnation and suffering.

    If she were any hotter she would just be white light burning the retinas of anyone looking directly at her. If she were mine her muscles would atrophy from being in bed for 800 consecutive days.

  12. bimbo

    Poor Jen. She really took it on the chin when Brad left.

  13. al Qaeda

    This is why we require all females to cover up. She looks like a man, but she has a pussy and small tits. I we fuck in the dark too, so her face is not a problem.
    Praise Allah

  14. lalaland

    she’s hott, not to mention she’s a realistic hott, not some fake ass superficial (ha get it) hott!

    anyone know what kind of jeans she is wearing in the last 5 pictures with the flannel?? her butt looks great in them!

  15. jrzmommy

    And TT asks…..Yeah….and can SHE pee standing up wearing an evening gown? I think not!

  16. Texas Tranny

    It took me a long time to figure out there are no unirals in the Women’s Room.

    But why do they always have a couch in there?

  17. DipShit


  18. DipShit


  19. DipShit

    69 is mighty fine.

    I wonder how big her cock is?

  20. Ed


  21. flavio

    her ass is like perfect. sometimes i think she’s blahhh, sometimes ridiculously hot.

  22. I hate celebrities

    #32. Shut the fuck up you closed minded asshole.

  23. Texas Tranny

    Thanks for saying what I was thinking.

  24. jrzmommy

    TT: the couches you speak of………..why, they’re for swooning! HA. Just kidding..I guess for breastfeeding? Because it’s good to begin the association with food and the smell of other people’s farts and poop at an early age

  25. Kenny

    Two words: great calves

  26. Silly Me

    Wow, even if she was wearing a suit made out of 12 year boy skin, I would still stick it in her.

  27. I hate celebrities

    No prob TT. It’s my pleasure.

  28. Tits McGee

    @# 34. …
    I love you. You took the words out of my hot mouth.

  29. She’s still hot, although the lumberjack shirt doesn’t really do much for her.

  30. tommy salami

    i hate this greek bitch i. hope vince vaughn ass slammed her and gave her a dirty sanchez……………..

  31. Duh

    WTF is the big deal with this woman? She has a chin like Bruce Forsythe…(not British? Google him)!

  32. I hate people

    Veingelina Score

    -Giant shiny alien forhead
    -Hideous super veins protruding from spear fishing “arms”
    -Covered in vile nasty tats
    -Pasty white, sickly thin and looks like a zombie
    -Square shaped toroso with ABSOLUTELY no waist definiton
    -Flat pale shapeless annorexic ass
    -constant puffy swollen little eye bags
    -nasty nutcracking man jaw
    I believe angie would lalso ook like shit in a bikini( me thinks many have forgotten what a pregnancy and starvation can do to a hot tight body, plus I have a sneaking suspicion she has A LOT of cellulite!!

    Traniston Score:

    -big bulbous nose
    -thin lips
    -giant man chin
    -total lack of cheekbones
    -squinty eyes
    -overall strange face

    Now Jen’s face is no masteropiece but its cute enough and she’s got a sweet bod (she probably weighs close to Angie’s weight but she looks healthy and toned while Angie looks like she died a few years ago. However Angie, raving lunatic that she is, does have a very elegant face that clearly beats Jen’s.

    Verdict: I hate them both. Angie is a pretentious, self important, hypocritical lunatic and Jen is a little rich girl who doesn’t seem to have any big cause that she proudly works for.

    Final Answer: Brad pitt is a worthless bitch with shitty taste in women and most men if given the chance to inhabit his body for a day would do a fuckload better( in the woman nailing department )in 24 hours then he has done in 24 years.

    In conclusion ,I pray that these people disapear: Angie into a mental institution, Brad into a pack of lemmings headed for a cliff, and Jen into a country club far away from any movie set.


  33. Diordnadionarap

    She’s gorgeous! And she looks reallly really young here too…

    And curvy, I like it :)

  34. djfred

    I’m sorry, Jennifer’s hotter than Angelina and not crazy. If you’re all hellbent on doing stories on celebrity gender mysteries perhaps it would be wiser to focus on Brad’s miraculous transformation into a little girl with bad judgement.

  35. #82-excellent summary

  36. I hate celebrities

    LOL #76, but Silly how would Jen get a 12 year old boy skin suit? I don’t think Michael Jackson would be willing to part with any pieces of his precious collection. That is unless Wacko decides he wants some more blankets, I mean children, and makes Jen fake wife #3, then it would be her official uniform.

  37. $$$

    Usually Superfish likes to bag on women even if they’re beautiful. Ever wonder if he tells the reps for the celebs if he won’t give them a good intro unless some $$$ changes hands?

    Hmm . . . my own blog . . . nah, I’ll just stick to selling crack and mugging people . . .

  38. starscanfrighten

    Finally. A beautiful, classy woman.

  39. BunnyButt

    I just realized that, in picture 8, she looks like Daniel Craig. Maybe the next Bond girl should look like Bond.

  40. Anonymous

    Jennifer is so beautiful.

    For all of those who say she looks like a dude,then, the rumors about Brad being gay must be true. Afterall, he spent 7 years in a relationship with Jennifer( a supposed dude).

    Every insult you sling at Aniston can be re-routed to Braddy Boy( or Braddy girl), depending on his outfit and which womans’ style he’s copying.

  41. Anonymous

    To the haters, do you think insulting Aniston by calling her a dude affects her?.
    She’s still super rich, and we’re not. Does this look like a woman who’s unhappy. She doesn’t give a damn what we think about her, because, it keeps her name in the loop and, she makes loads of money because of you haters.

    Jennifer is great, beautiful and talented. Much success to her.

  42. Satis

    Watch the last 5 minutes of Friends with Money (if you can stomach it), and tell me Maniston doesn’t look just like a dude. Mustache and all. That’s why she has always said she hides behind her (bleached-blonde) hair… because he face is seriously manly and fug.

  43. processcheese

    Still looks like a muppet.
    An ugly muppet.

  44. zil

    Beautiful! She’s the classy type that’s attractive from the inside out. I’m glad to see her up here

  45. jenna

    Jennifer looks amazing as usual. Angelina is hideous she just looks wierd and her personality is that of a psychopath. Wearing a vile of blood as a necklace, making out with her brother…Angelina is a fucked up bitch!!!!

  46. temp

    i looooooove jennifer aniston.

    yay for posting her pictures up!
    team aniston over jolie anyday.

    she’s gaining a little weight, but that’s a good thing.
    now she doesn’t look like skin and bones, unlike angelina.

    good to see her smiling too.

  47. Big Mama

    I have those same jeans. I bought them at Wal-Mart for $12. I now feel a real bond with Jen. We are twineszzzzzz.

  48. roughdaddy

    whats with the obssession with this chick,,,

  49. lolly


  50. aqua6

    She is a simple, decent woman and seems nice. She looks good for her age at 37 compared to Angelina at 29, who has veins that thirst for blood.
    I just wish she will find someone to be happy with. She deserves it. She should have stood up to Brad more. If I were her I would ignore him completely. Cheating men should be deserted. She obviously has a good heart enough to still talk with him.

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