Okay, so a couple days ago, I might have suggested that Jennifer Aniston is a dude. I’d like to state for the record that I was drunk. But now I’m a different kind of drunk. Love-drunk. I would totally do things to her. Things that would make Jennifer Aniston so pregnant, she’d give birth to a small nation. Which Angelina Jolie would then adopt. That would be so hot. Oh man, imagine if Angelina gave all those kids ridiculous names. No, no, that’s just too hot. Don’t touch the screen! My words will burn you with their hotness.
Photos: Splash
jon | September 20, 2007 at 12:46 pm
first
lambman | September 20, 2007 at 12:47 pm
still looks like a dude to me
snfu | September 20, 2007 at 12:47 pm
I knew it!
cookievanderbilt | September 20, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Better than vampire with a pack of trendy orphans.
JagedNS | September 20, 2007 at 12:50 pm
are you kidding lamb?
I would take JA over Jolie anyday.
Mmm the things I would eat outta her ass.
FRIST!!! | September 20, 2007 at 12:50 pm
I think she’s cute! Maybe even cuter than me if that is possible.
tanya | September 20, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Jennifer is a dude. Sorry to burst your bubble.
Barry LeFarge | September 20, 2007 at 12:53 pm
@5 Good call. Jolie’s got an odd-shaped head and I always feel like she was dead and then brought back to life. Too many skeleton qualities.
cc | September 20, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Jenn has a great figure. even better than angelina, who’s all skin and bones now.
pointandlaugh | September 20, 2007 at 12:57 pm
SHE IS SO UNBELIEVABLY HOT. I’d give my left nut for her to be my wife.
Biff | September 20, 2007 at 12:57 pm
She’s not a dude. She’s got a dude’s head, that’s all.
BunnyButt | September 20, 2007 at 12:59 pm
Great body, odd head, I’m guessing most of you guys don’t mind.
FromOutOfNoWhere | September 20, 2007 at 1:00 pm
Holly Mama, Did that ultra fine rear end. Damn Jen got some fine junk in the trunk. Baby got back. I agree, Jenn is way finer then Angelina. Not sure why Brad left, but it’s gotta be because of wanting kids.
Joltin' Django | September 20, 2007 at 1:03 pm
What a fine can that girl has! From now on, I’m going to call her “Jennifer Canniston” … !!!
Happy/sad penis | September 20, 2007 at 1:04 pm
There’s never been a problem with her from the neck down, except maybe concerns about losing an eye to those granite nipples. But for sure she’s got whiskers in the morning, and unless you’re TT, that first morning kiss will make your ball run screaming back into your body cavity.
Happy/sad penis | September 20, 2007 at 1:05 pm
I guess I meant “balls”. Although I dunno, if slip and mention Brad or Angie in bed, you very well might wake up with just one.
gARY | September 20, 2007 at 1:13 pm
If she ever shut up, sure she’d be great. But what turns me off is that she’s so whiny and obsessive. It’s just like the commenters who write those endless whiny essays about body—-wait, hold on, I’ll conjure them directly:
“The only reason her ass looks fuller is that she’s getting FAT!”
(*now listen for clomping footsteps, loud breathing, and the rustling of candy wrappers*)
. | September 20, 2007 at 1:14 pm
The candyman can
combustion8 | September 20, 2007 at 1:15 pm
she’s got a great ass for a dude… eva mendez, NOW THATS A DUDE!
me | September 20, 2007 at 1:15 pm
dustin hoffman has a nice body. but his lips are really thin and his eyes are tiny and close together. angelina’s face is like a brat doll. much prettier if you ask me.
huff | September 20, 2007 at 1:16 pm
She’s not that bad, she’s just not that good either.
veggi | September 20, 2007 at 1:17 pm
don’t mind gARY. Poor thing is still pissed that the fat chick turned him down. again.
bunsandchouchou | September 20, 2007 at 1:20 pm
I had long suspected that she wasn’t a dude…thanks for confirming…
i see it | September 20, 2007 at 1:20 pm
DUSTIN HOFFMAN…. YES! take away her body and hair and she is UGLY! looks JUST LIKE DUSTIN HOFFMAN. Angelina, though creepy, has one of the most flawless faces ever! ( big pretty eyes, cute little nose, full lips, high cheek bones…)
salmon | September 20, 2007 at 1:20 pm
yaAWwn
wheres the whining from the guys re: veggi ignoring them at least thats more superficial
next!
sportsdvl | September 20, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Jennifer blows Angelina out of the water. JA always looks good while Angelina can look amazing, but she can also look like a damn freak.
Anniston is beautiful, those of you saying she looks like a dude must harbor secret fantasies of dudes!
A | September 20, 2007 at 1:23 pm
She is a sexy women. She is absolutely beautiful but she has no ass and no chest but her beautiful face makes her one of the sexiest women ever
bobbihe | September 20, 2007 at 1:25 pm
she is so ordinary looking…you might as well find a college chick
if you like ugly faces | September 20, 2007 at 1:25 pm
brad likes pretty faces after all. thats why he left chinniffer maniston aka young dustin hoffman, for angelina pretty.
Texas Tranny | September 20, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Hey FRIST nobody is as cute as you, sweetie.
@15
Very funny, I like it when I’m referenced in somebody’s post.
no i dont like dudes, she looks like one, thats why i dont like her | September 20, 2007 at 1:27 pm
28 – shes an old ass looking college chick
27- you are blind as fuck. her face is ugly for a regular person
26 – also blind. see JA without makeup and her hair pulled up. ugly as hell.
slutbag | September 20, 2007 at 1:29 pm
TT is a fucked up example of inbreeding. There you go. Do you like that reference weirdo?
Danny | September 20, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Frankly I’ve never understood the ridicule and references to “Maniston” she’s subjected to. Granted, she’s no raving beauty, but my gosh she’s got a smoking bod, IMO. Those legs were made to be wrapped around my ears.
she has an ugly face | September 20, 2007 at 1:30 pm
cut button nose – no check
big pretty eyes – no check
full pouty lipe – no check
big thick nose – check
tiny beedy squinty eyes – check
close together eyes ( aka masculine feature) – check
long ass chin – check
whiny voice that sounds like is it full of mucus – check
Texas Tranny | September 20, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Coming from a slutbag, I don’t mind.
Clarky | September 20, 2007 at 1:33 pm
I’d hit that. In fact, I’d break that into several pieces.
math | September 20, 2007 at 1:34 pm
“She is a sexy women. She is absolutely beautiful but she has no ass and no chest but her beautiful face makes her one of the sexiest women ever”
put a minus sign in front of that and it’s completely true.
Starbucks Whore | September 20, 2007 at 1:34 pm
I’d kill…oh how I’d kill…for that body.
ugly compared to jolie | September 20, 2007 at 1:37 pm
jolie has an emaculate face. the most beautiful eyes and smile ever. sexy voice, confidence. JA has a hideous and hilarious face ( big nosed and thin lipped bowed mouth ). She would have never made it as an actress in the 30′s and 40′s when woman had to have soft pretty features. even courtney cox has a better face than her.
Ooba Gooba | September 20, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Man, Pitt really screwed up when he dumped her for Jolie……….Jolie is a hag. Jennifer Anniston is fine, and a decent person. Jolie sucks.
mr sensitive | September 20, 2007 at 1:38 pm
I think she’s hot for one reason only: bucking bronco. As soon as you get to doggiestyle call her “Angelina!” and then hold on for dear life. Ride of a lifetime.
FagHag | September 20, 2007 at 1:39 pm
I think she has a smoking body.
How I’d love to have some hot lesbian sex with her.
Epi S'Otomy | September 20, 2007 at 1:40 pm
I’d fuck her if I could get her to wear an Angelina mask. I’m sure that’s what Brad is thinking these days.
veggi reads other stuff too. | September 20, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Paris Hilton popped up in a place you’d least expect her, reports People — a bookstore. Spotted in a Los Angeles Barnes & Nobel, least-likely-to-be-literary Paris stocked up on a stack of reading material from the religious and self-help aisle. …
Riotboy | September 20, 2007 at 1:42 pm
Meh.
ooba gooba is blind | September 20, 2007 at 1:44 pm
angelina has a drop dead gorgeous face. this chick looks like dustin hoffman.
Pinto | September 20, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Tough one. Angie vs. Jen. Annoying humanitarian vs. annoying. Praying mantis vs. man with tits. Angry eyes when you cum in her mouth vs. still talking while you cum in her mouth. Brad, what do you think? Or are you unable to comment because you’re right in the middle of shape-shifting to match Angie’s latest mood?
Realist | September 20, 2007 at 1:45 pm
You people screaming ‘first’ all the time are dumber than shitstains.
FRIST!!! | September 20, 2007 at 1:47 pm
#30 TT thanks :)
lambman | September 20, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Regardless of whether or not her ex husband is with an attractive or ugly, man or woman, Jennifer Anniston still looks like a dude.
Also, if you wanna turn this into as Jen vs Angie thing, I challenge the JA supporters to find a recent pic of Jen that is 1/10th as attractive as this pic taken of Angie in the past week
http://justjared.buzznet.com/gallery/photos.php?yr=2007&mon=09&evt=angelina-jesse-james&pic=brad-angelina-jesse-james-premiere-83.jpg