Jennifer Aniston is bitter

December 9th, 2005 // 50 Comments

look at me, i'm bitterJennifer Aniston recently engaged in that age-old rite of bitter women everywhere – eating the young. Although technically, it may be more ‘accurate’ and less of a ‘lie’ to say she simply torched her wedding dress.

According to Grazia magazine, Jennifer set fire to the Lawrence Steele dress during a gathering with her friends. She allegedly drank champagne and laughed with her friends during the burning outside her Malibu beach home. Other relationship items, including letters, were also on the fire.

Although some might say that selling the dress for charity might have been an even better idea than burning it to ash, her motives are understandable. If your current boyfriend is Vince Vaughn, you sure as hell don’t want any reminders that you were once married to Brad Pitt. I mean, if I had pics of Brad Pitt on the walls and suddenly rolled over in bed to see Vince Vaughn, I’d be like “holy crap I’m gay!” But then I’d be like “I can do better than this. I’ll have to give Tom Cruise another chance.”

Thanks to Jessica for the tip

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  1. suzy

    i’d rather be with vince then brad… brad is too pretty.. and now that he’s with angelina proves that he’s not the greatest guy in the world

  2. PinkRose

    If she burned her wedding dress, well..good for her. That’s not the worst thing she could of done. I’m suprised Jennifer didn’t pull a “Lisa Lopez” and burn down her house. I would of done that. But that’s just me.

  3. Gambitgirl

    i know a lot of people have burned their ex’s stuff to kind of clear the air after a bad breakup. but it’s embarassing the ex finds out about it. if this is true, jen probably wishes the media hadn’t found out b/c it makes her look still very bitter over brad.

    i don’t blame her still being bitter with the way the media makes sure to report every move mr. and ms. jolie do so it gets back to her.

  4. I heard one of the cataylsts for their divorce was Jen’s hatred of modern architecture, a fault Brad found as backwards and unintelligent. I mean, Mies Van der Roeh can kick spanish revivalist’s ass any day of the week. She should burn copies of architectural digest instead

  5. bunny

    I think most women would choose Vince over that stick-insect Brad. After all, a girl’s gotta have something to grab hold of!

  6. Megan

    I am fairly freaking sick of hearing about Jennifer and Brad. So what? They got divorced, it happens. Moving on….

  7. Thee Wood Nymph

    I, too, burned my wedding dress. I didn’t see it as an act of bitterness – since it wasn’t a bitter divorce. It was just a therapeutic closure session. Complete with mayo, some MC Hammer, and a steely dan (if you know what I mean).

  8. mutterhals

    Does anyone remember that shit ass episode of “Friends” where her character took part in the same lame ceremony? Whats wrong with mindlessly banging pool boys and trying lesbianism after divorce?

  9. sandiego

    I would much rather be with Vince – he is soooooo funny and Brad doesn’t seem like he could make you laugh your ass off. And good for her burn everything, what the hell does she need it for??? Anyone that would buy her dress for charity anyway is kinda twisted ewwww.

  10. MortyFishbein

    She should also burn his makeup bag.

  11. Maybe she’d be less bitter if she wore a bra. I’m not sure how it’s related, but Angelina always wears one and she’s never bitter

  12. bafongu

    Vince Vaughn, Elmer Fudd, didn’t matter, she just needed someone to say “I got one too”. She had just finished a movie requiring her to make out with him, so what the heck. Personally I got this yeast fungus thing growing on some cheese in the frig that looks more attractive. I found my girl friend looking at it with her steely dan humming….

  13. BoredToTears

    Seriously, who needs to laugh when you can have sex with Brad Pitt?? I can get my laughs elsewhere. I feel bad for Jen…I mean, where do you go after starting off at the very top? I kinda feel sorry for all the men who date Jen from now own. How would any of them live up to Brad Pitt standard? Unless they have a really big willy, but even then, they’re not Brad Pitt with a big willy. I don’t know if Brad has a big willy, but I’ve always pictured it to be ginormous…yeah, I picture it…

  14. After burning the wedding dress, do you think Jen and her friends cranked up Gloria Gaynor, jumped up on the coffee table and did a cute little dance routine? Because that’s what happens in the movies when women burn man-effigies.

  15. KikiLala

    I don’t understand why people feel sorry for Jennifer Aniston, she was an annoying person. I assume all the people who can “relate” to her are just as annoying. Like many have said and I will say as well, who the poop would not leave Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie?

  16. martini1275

    Well good for Jen, if torching her wedding dress makes her feel better. I would have slit my writs. I mean, we’re talking Brad Pitt here. The man just wanted some offspring dude!!! I would’ve popped out a whole bunch of babies for him!!! Who cares if I gain some baby weight? With all that money, I would’ve gotten myself a trainer and whipped back into shape. But I guess it was too hard for Jen to give up her cigarettes and not eating to give Brad a baby. What a dumb bitch! I’m glad Brad left her!!! Angelina is HOTT!!!!!-

  17. Linnea

    I think she would need to burn a third world country to make herself feel better about loosing THAT. But George Bush already has all the country burning handled.

  18. monica

    well good for her! i think its messed up how brad started dating angelina even before their divorce finalized. hes a jerk.

  19. chowsito

    Rumor has it ol’ Brad doesn’t bathe. I ain’t one for gossip, but folks where there is stench there is gonna be bugs. Bugs don’t make kind bed folk if you know what I mean.
    That dress should have been burned years ago, and the house fumigated before it was sold.
    N-A-S-T-Y.
    Go Jen! Brilliant, cheap therapy!

  20. hafaball

    She can smile and laugh all she wants, but there’s got to be some pyschological problem with her now…I mean, burning things like a wedding dress and pictures can’t be the healthiest thing to do, right? That sucks cause she was pretty down to earth before. Soon she’ll just get up to the ranks of Jen Lopez and Mariah Carey.

  21. pixel killya

    Jen’s wandering around topless in my backyard as we speak…pack of Marlboros in one hand, a scrap of taffeta in the other. And I’m thinking…’Oh, God, this is not what I want…’

  22. BadGoat

    Think how difficult it must be to go through this in the public eye. I’d burn everything too, why the hell not?

    Brad Pitt is too pretty. Pretty men are nice to look at, and prance around, but it’s been my experience that they have little substance. And as a female, I don’t want the extra competition from a beautiful mate. It just doesn’t seem natural.

    Vince Vaughn is a man’s man, and he is adorable in my opinion. I hope that he’s giving her a lot of ‘comfort.’

  23. nikki

    what a stupid bitch. she could’ve sold the damn dress on ebay for $20,000.

    get over it Jen. you’re a big-nosed ugly freak who got a hunk to fuck you for years. be grateful and look on the positive side. Brad was clearly too much of a gentleman to dump you after the honeymoon. but it was just a matter of time before he woke up to the fact that he had made a mistake as big as your nose.

  24. s.

    if vince vaughn were any fucking hotter, southern california would explode off the planet.

    vince > brad, period.

    SO THERE! :)

  25. s.

    nikki, i highly doubt jen needs an extra $20K.

  26. slinkhard

    ‘But I guess it was too hard for Jen to give up her cigarettes and not eating to give Brad a baby.’

    It’s not like Angelina went to the trouble of giving birth for anyone, either.

  27. zena marie

    Vince over Brad, any day. Brad’s ego has its own zip code, his looks are overrated, and he’s gotta be dull after the initial lust wears off, anyway.

    I gave my wedding dress to the Salvation Army… wish now I’d done the fire ceremony. Good idea Jen!!

  28. Suite4

    I have to say, I’m not objective. I think Angelina Jolie is HOT. Jennifer Aniston on the other hand has big jaws and a chin to match. If she didn’t have the dough to pay professional stylists, trainers, hairstylists and make-up artists to make her look almost beautiful, she’d still be trying to make it in Hollywood. And come on, don’t tell me you’d choose why-is-he-famous-anyway over hottest-fourtysomething. Vicne V. is a total loser!

  29. becca11

    suite4 you’ve got it right. Vince>Brad??? yeah hes fatter and taller… but brad is a million times better looking with his sexy tight ass and ripped arms and stomach. Brad is soooo sexy… so is angelina, so their relationship works on that level. Vince vaughn is big and goofy looking, jen is big nosed and goofy looking, they seem like they will have fun doing goofy romantic comedies together.. so they make more sense together in that way.

  30. Stacyy

    u guys cant say that brad has no substance cuz the guy wanted to have children with her.. and if u ask me hes less of an asshole than u all think cuz he didnt go with aniston because of her looks, but because of her personality. face it, in the long run, anybody would have dumped aniston ESPECIALLY brad pitt the hottest man who ever lived. now the burning of the wedding dress is rather stupid. i would keep it to remind me of the times when i was with him. and btw vince is so incredibly ugly and im next to positive that aniston doesnt bare a shred of liking for him, unless she was seeing him before her break up cuz that was too damn fast. she is such a little liar.ya right what woman gets over brad pitt that quickly and starts making out with a cockroach and says she loves him. GIVE ME A BREAAK! brad pitt probably realized what he was married to after he saw angelina jolie. oh and to the person who said that angelina didnt make much of an effort to have her own offspring either.. well i think its better to adopt children who have not alot of chances of survival in their original places of birth, than have more on you own. shes helping ppl and its braver to raise a child thats not your own or doesnt look at all like you if you ask me.

  31. Cheyenne_1

    ROTFLMAO The Brangelina fanatics are like the Jessica Simpson and Michael Jackson fans. They worship them like idols and if you (er excuse me “u”) say anything semi-critical they foam at the mouth, babbling as if they know Brandelina (Jessica, Michael) personally.
    I frankly think Angelina is hot, but that has nothing to do with her character, which I know nothing about. From what we “earthlings” are told and shown, she a poseur and just a few fries short of a happy meal. As for Brad, well… he was once quoted as saying he just missed being in a boy band like New Kids. ‘Nuff said.

  32. Sheva

    Sorry but Jolie has her moments and is sexy in her portrayals like the film she did with Antonio Banderas but Jen is the nice girl next door. Don’t know about this children thing and who’s to say with the army of employees between her and Brad.

    But this guy is short and stinky and quite too much with his pr girlie machine. You put Brad Pitt in a small town unshowered with no dough and trust me, he ain’t no chick magnet. But then again, the star f&Y*)O*& never tire of their idol worship.

    If little Ed Norton can beat your ass, you ain’t much. Oh yeah, he’s got money.

    So without knowing much, here’s to Vince Vaughn. That’s a guy and he’s a funny f*)T^. Good luck to him and Jen or whoever he’s with.

  33. slinkhard

    I might have more respect for Brangelina fans who could, you know, spell their own names.

  34. Amorena

    All I can say is that, if I were a publicist, I would a whole lot rather be Jennifer Aniston’s than Brangelina’s.

    Trying to softsell the latter’s stupidity would be a nightmare.

  35. kelly

    I don’t care what anyone says but Brad is hot. He is a humaneterian and not shallow and cought up on himself. Jen is pathetic and cares only about her public persona. I mean if you know you are a target for paparazi then why would you make yourself a target and go be topless? Sounds like she is following Paris’ school of horish attention getting for her recently released crappy movies. I mean she was nothing before Brad but an anoying actress, now she is an over expossed actress with no merit. Eva Longoria was right when she said that Jen would always be Rachel Green, tight cast. Also Vince is a misogynist. In his movies he always plays a jerk who acts like he’s hotter then he actually is. He uses women and sees no value in them. I remember he made a coment about how he likes young women because their breast aren’t saggy. I am sure his balls provably hit whe floor and smak Jen in the face. . .
    Atleast Angelina is a kind woman that cares about the world. She doesn’t just talk the talk she walks the walk. Yeah she’s hot but her humanitarian missions matter more to her. Unlike Bono who talks and doesn’t do anything Angelina does. So before I write a book Angelina got top price and Jen got porky pig. Vince is not funny, charasmatic and can’t even measure up to Pitt. Jen should thank the stars that atleast being Mrs. Pitt got her somewhere. . . .

  36. Cheyenne_1

    As was said, Brangelina fans are hilarious. We’re not talking normal appreciation of a celeb here. The Brangie fanatics are fervent Naive (if they were Christian, they’d be insisting Jimmy Swaggart was framed), and devoted to the point of illness. Look for Brangie fans to be shaving their heads and trying to sell Mr. and Mrs. Smith DVDs and incense at airports and malls in the near future.

  37. slinkhard

    So Vince Vaughn is a misogynist, but Jennifer Aniston is a ‘whore’ for going topless on her own property.
    Your logic is not our earth logic, kelly.

  38. sammygirl

    How did this information regarding her dress-burning become public? Did one of her “friends” tip off a reporter? That’s pretty sad if you ask me. I don’t think this is something I’d want the media to know about. It’s supposed to be a personal, cathartic moment, right? If it was leaked on purpose, then Jen has some serious emotional problems.

  39. Michael1

    Parse this kelly:
    “”To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not look at myself in the morning, if I did that.” As told on June 8 to befuddled interviewer Ann Curry, shortly after she was splashed across every tabloid in the world with Aniston ex Bradley Pitt. ”
    Ms. Joile is hot, but she’s really stupid. Such an obvious lie only makes her look skankier.

  40. ~S.Starr~

    Okay…I find it quite sad that some of you have such harsh opinions on people that you dont know…especially since all of your knowledge on any of the relationships (old and new) are product of tabloids.

    Grow up people…get up from Junior high lunch table and join us in the adult world.

    PS…some of you keep saying that Jen has a big nose…am I blind, cause I don’t see a big nose? It looks normal size to me…

  41. sammygirl

    S.Starr, you keep going from one post to another, slamming us for poking fun at the celebrities. Uh, do you know what website you’re on? Really, if you don’t like what we’re saying, then maybe you should find some other website to preach on.

    It’s pretty obvious that none of us know these celebrities, including YOU and the superficial.com editors. But the point is we’re poking FUN at them. Comprende? It’s supposed to be FUN. So please take that stick out of your butt please.

  42. ~S.Starr~

    sammygirl…yet you keep following me from post to post…obsessed much.

    And there is a big difference between “poking fun” and just being flat out ignorant. I do believe this is a website for people to state their OPINIONS. Just because they aren’t the same as YOUR opinions doesn’t mean that I am “slamming” you.

    And it’s not a stick up my ass…it’s you. So climb down out of there and leave me be to my preaching…that is unless you are having fun up there…in that case…you need help.

  43. sammygirl

    S.Starr, such witty reparte, how long did it take you to come up with that one?

    Trust me, I’m not stalking you; we’re purusing the same website, which isn’t that big to begin with. And your preachy, tight-ass comments are pretty easy to spot.

    If you think we’re all a bunch of ignoramuses, then please show us the light, oh enlightened one!!!! We’re all commenting about stories that are ridiculous to begin with, like Aniston burning her stupid wedding dress, or Britney downing Bacardi and Rums at the bar until 3am while her newborn sits in the car with the bodyguards. It’s irrelevant whether these stories are factual or not. We’re just joking about the alleged truth of the stories. So don’t get your panties in a bunch.

  44. ~S.Starr~

    Funny how every post you make to me serves one point…it is a website for people to talk shit…yet you seem to have a problem with me doing it. I seem to mean a lot to you considering you just wont leave me alone. That’s okay…I love having a fan!

    Oh and by the way…my “witty reparte” comes naturally…no really, it only took me three tries, spellcheck, and a bottle of jack to get it right…woohoo for me!!! As for my panties being in a bunch…damn near impossible since I don’t wear underwear ;)

    until the next time…SMOOCH!

  45. sarakai

    I am so sick of hearing about brad and jen. people fall in and out of love evryday, so wats the big deal. and just for the record, (this is for those on jens side)…
    hello-o, if i had to choose between jen and angelina the chose is pretty easy. angelina jolie is on f**king fire, you cant get hotter then that… im no lesbian but if i was she would be my ultimate! and brad pitt is the hottest of the hots! he deserves a hotty like angelina cos, lets face it, jen looks like a man.

  46. neesie

    all you jolie fans are gassed on bad weed she is hot how the hell do you know did you sleep with her not according to billy bob. and it is one thing to poke fun another to insult a beautifull lady like jen. pitt is a ass and if he stood next to david beckham no competion he would be last. vince may not look like your ideal man but true woman like big men. men like pitt are two a penny we have millions of fab guys in south africa that would kick his ass to the kerb and boy our home ladies here a 10 times hotter than jolie. you know nothing about jen so lay off the insults about her looks she is a true greek and we people of latin ancestors are proud of our looks as it differs from yours. pitt was not a humanitarian only since climbing into jolies bed is now the biggest humanitarian all of a sudden. he is clingy and insecure and needs to have someone tell him what to do. if you want to speak about real actors look at tom hanks, johonny depp, john travolta, nichols cage and the likes of them. pitt and jolie are not role models for any teenagers nicole kidman, jen and oprah should represent the UN

  47. GET OVER IT

    Yeah, she blew it with the former “sexiest man alive”. Now he’s with the “hottest woman alive” who happens to be a UN Goodwill Ambassador and a real life version of Lara Croft. HELL YEAH HE GOT HER PREGNANT!!!

    The good news is that David Schwimmer is single, so now Ross and Rachel can hook up in real ife. On a break, not on a break, good times!

  48. Lara

    Well, personally, I think if Jen feels she need to burn a whole load of expensive shit that reminds her of Brad – she should do it. That was a messy divorce and if she needs to burn something, she should feel free to do so.
    Go Jen. Woop.
    Moving on, I think Vince Vaugn is the PERFECT guy for Jen. He’s like a bear. He’s a bear and she’s a stick of honey.
    See? PERFECT!

  49. AAAAHHH I’m peeing in my pantalones! I want to say thanks to (almost) everyone who posted here. You all are hella funny, made my day

  50. andy

    It is 2010, so i ask all those stuck up Jennifer ass fans, do you still feel the same for you american sweet heart, girl next door image with a stupid brain, because Ms. Jen to me has become a tire rubber face, chins don’t lie. Did i mention showing her NIPPLE AS IF SHE IS SELLING SOMETHING, oh and are you all keeping count on HOW MANY SO FAR! What about the consent babbling of Brad this Brad that, Angelina this Angelina that, OH AND DID YOU COUNT HOW MANY NUDE PHOTOS SO FAR, well i don’t know about you Jen Fans, but i am sick of her, she make movies with big time name, but if only they knew she gets the credit for the movie not them they carry the movie, but she get the credit, OMG SICK, JUST SICK! AND FINAL, ANGELINA AND BRAD ARE STILL GOING STRONG, THUS, FAR!

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