Jennifer Aniston in a bikini canoodling with John Mayer – Why did I just use that word?

May 7th, 2008 // 71 Comments

Here’s photographic proof that John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are, indeed, romantically involved. I don’t know how the guy does it. I mean, roofies eventually wear off, right? I keep trying to get chicks at the bar to drop one in my drink and take advantage of me. But so far no dice. Except for that one girl who took me up on my offer then stole my car, wallet and everything not nailed down in my house. Which means my case of beer and Star Wars action figures are safe. How could I live without you, Yoda with a giant nail through his face?


  1. Dick Bush


  2. It's me Fuckers

    That is one man who must be built like a horse. Either that or he can lick his eyebrows. He is one of the ugliest men I have ever seen in my life. But he gets a lot of hot chicks! I just don’t understand it. Can someone please get a naked picture of him?! Lets just see what this fucker REALLY has.

  3. Ang

    What do you call 1,000,000 Republicans in a mass grave?

    A start.

  4. brad pit

    wtf is that on his arm

  5. Rep. Mark Foley

    Please vote Republican in the upcoming election!

    My name is Mark Foley, and I approve this young boy’s ass.

  6. pointandlaugh

    #2 that is exactly what i was thinking. How is that douchebag getting all the hottest women?

  7. Nicole

    That fruit has a tat? Oh my god she could do way better.

  8. So Stupid

    #2 and #6 – you guys are aware that he’s a rock star right? Do i have to explain the perks that comes with being a rock star?

  9. Spazz

    Fuck you Ang.

  10. jbigga

    funny how that Republican joke started as a jab Democrats. Go back to voting for a communist Borat Osama.

  11. Harry

    #6 — Uh…you can’t believe the hypnotizing affect of a musician. Have you seen the list of women Billy Joel got? Christie Brinkley and Elle MacPherson, all in their prime. And he makes John Mayer look like Brad Pitt. Lesson to all you young boys out there: Put down the football, the basketball, the baseball, and take those piano and guitar lessons!!!

  12. britney's weave

    these pics are days old. what is UP with all the jennifer aniston bikini pics anyway??? she looks good–i want to see someone i can make fun of!!!! (really have no opinion on mayer.)

  13. Amy the Great

    Good for her. She deserves a good fucking.

  14. William Antrim

    She doesn’t look very happy. Almost as if she’s thinking “I can’t stand him touching me…please stop touching me”

  15. Ted from LA

    Hi Harry,
    My issue is that everyone you mentioned is annoying as hell. I’d rather my kid play some stupid sport and meet a nice person with a good work ethic than a bunch of self-absorbed “celebs.” I can’t stand any of the women you mentioned, much less view them as desirable. If they weren’t celebs, I’d probably want to dink them all. As it stands, they are celebs and the mentality that leads one to desire that excludes them from my list. My favorite was Billy Joel right before his wife left him. I’m fucking Christie Brinkley! How did that work out for you Piano Man?

  16. cookie monsta

    truly a very dull couple …. at least she’s not with that owen wilson dud ….

  17. Gwen

    I really don’t…understand this…thing that’s happening here…Jennifer Aniston? And him? Really? Are you sure these aren’t photoshopped?

    On a completely different note, holy crap, these are some of the most coherent comments I’ve ever seen.

  18. Jen

    Jen, oh Jen, no.

    I understand the need to get laid, I really do. I mean, I don’t, because I have a boyfriend, but I remember not having one, and of course, its frustrating. A girl has needs, yes. But John fucking Mayer? Are you kidding? He dated Jessica Simpson.

    He actually dated Jessica Simpson. He had conversations with her. He tried to have conversations with her.

    I don’t get it. Aniston, you are so much better than this.

  19. poonmoon

    Agreed #15 Ted From L.A.

    Celebrities are the most egocentric people on the planet, they seek the spotlight like a drop of water in the desert and once they have it they won’t shut up or step aside until they die. Fame and immorality go hand in hand and are almost inseparable. Celebrities are idolized as the ideal, the best of the best, when they are really the living example of the worst part of humanity. The very desire to be a star or a politician is exactly what disqualifies you from being worthy of it. I would raise my children to be very weary of fame and celebrities, I would far rather they admire local firefighters and doctors than any fucking self obsessed celebrity who plays a life saving doctor or firefighter and gets 10 to 100 times more money, glory and awards for pretending to be one. Now athletes aren’t any better since they are also over paid celebrities who get millions to play children’s games (just like actors). Politicians are just losers who are too ugly, untalented and unathletic for Hollywood or the sports world. I say kids can do whatever they want, but they all need to be taught about the illusions and lies in this world. Fame is nothing but ego that has grown so out of hand it has transformed a simple human life into a legendary lie, it is the unhealthiest thing on earth to be so in love with oneself. It’s the ordinary unsung heroes who are worthy of admiration, but they are too busy helping people to stand around in the spotlight wafting for their every move to be applauded and they don’t want the praise because as bizarre as it might seem in today’s “worship me” culture they don’t do their good deeds and selfless acts for recognition.

    It is really sad how few people understand how entirely fucked up and destructive celebrity culture is. Countries abolished the monarchy for a reason, sadly now we have something even worse than a bunch of fat kings and queens who sat in their castles collecting coin while the peasants starved. Megalomania and greed are humanities biggest faults, they are at the root of every problem in this world and them like candy coated crack to a brainwashed world to stupid and apathetic to know that it is being bamboozled.

    Let me leave you all with this. Why are the heroes that millionaire egomaniac celebrities play in movies that we pay millions to see always the hard working, humble average Joe’s and Jane’s up against the big rich assholes? Seems a little fucking ironic and manipulative doesn’t it?

  20. poonmoon

    *in the spotlight waiting

    *and the media sells them like candy coated crack to a brainwashed world to stupid and apathetic to know that it is being bamboozled.

  21. my comment

    She looks bored.

    Brad meanwhile is jetting around the globe with the pregnant yet again monkey woman.

  22. yuppers

    #19 – You are more than entitled to that opinion, and I don’t necessarily disagree – but what strikes me as odd is that, while you are obviously very anti-celebrity, still, here you are on this site. You do realize you’re feeding into exactly what you’re saying we need to get rid of, right? Seems a bit hypocritical to me.

  23. Ted Mosby

    Maybe he threatened to sing to her so that’s why she clings to him.

  24. your mom

    You SUCK superficial…SUCK SUCK SUCKITY SUCK…. PEREZ posted these a week ago, at least PEREZ is on the ball and PEREZ gives us the good celebrity gossip WAY in advance compared to YOU LOSERS. You need to pull your heads out of your asses and actually start posting stuff that we all didn’t know about a week ago. PEREZ blows you taint lickers out of the water. PEREZ ALL THE WAY!

  25. BobbyPeru

    ARE THESE STILL FROM the film “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”? Aniston is a cliche. Mayer is too.

  26. poonmoon/NO because YOU'RE UGLY

    #23. This a celebrity trashing site, only many people to stupid for words come here to defend them and show how much they wuv them. I don’t know why it’s so hard to see that this site is VERY anti celebrity.

    You can’t critique and stand up against something without giving it attention, but that’s not a bad thing, it’s a necessary thing. In terms of solving problems we can’t do so by ignoring things it will get us nowhere. Giving attention to issues like child abuse does not mean that you are part of the problem or support it, but that you are bringing the sick truth to light. People who are against animal abuse are also usually experts on it, this is not my only concern many things are important to me, but I am very aware of the way Hollywood works and the effect it has because the only way to break anything down and show how twisted and destructive it is to be knowledgeable about it, but that does not mean I read celebrity magazines or watch their reality shows. You can do nothing unless you are informed and negative things need to be brought to light if there is any hope of changing them. A lot of people see the problems in the world and say “hey that’s not my problem” and then turn away, they feel good about themselves for not getting involved, but they are actually part of the problem.
    Commenting here is not the essence of what I do for the causes I believe, it’s a tiny thing that allows me to air out my thoughts with a crowd that mostly shares similar beliefs and I often get good feedback. The best is when people say ” Wow that’s so true”. I legitimately believe that something needs to be done about this problem and I’m human and I like to write about things I am passionate about with people who are just as pissed off as I am. That seems pretty human and healthy to me.

  27. superfish is a fag(not that there's anything wrong with that)

    “I don’t know how the guy does it. I mean, roofies eventually wear off, right?”

    What do you mean you don’t know how the guy does it?!! His entire career is geared toward attracting chicks. He plays that pussy rock. Chicks love that shit. He’s the modern day version of Warrant/White Lion/Nelson, etc, etc, etc. You get the picture. If you are ugly growing up and you know it what do you do? Learn how to play the guitar. WELL!

    Alas, I have the ugly part down. Now if I could just get the chords down.

  28. Send in the clowns

    . “This a celebrity trashing site, only many people to stupid for words come here to defend them and show how much they wuv them. I don’t know why it’s so hard to see that this site is VERY anti celebrity.”

    Anti-celebrity? God, no! We love celebrities! Who else would we get to watch make a fool of themselves national and internationally! What a boring world it would be without these fools. Plastic surgery junkies are the best.

  29. maniston

    No reason why he should have that ginormous tat.

  30. blow me

    Agree that she looks like she can’t stand being touched by him. I’ve had that look, and it’s always once someone’s shown you what an idiot they are AFTER you’ve fucked them. Now, she’s just regretting the waste of time. And he looks like he’s lamely trying to explain something. No smiles, no laughs. Over.

  31. Kim Lard-ass-ian

    Who is he? a celeb in the US only, I’ve never heard of him.
    I have to say that even though we do have a monarchy here (UK) at least the princes harry and william did get themselves an education and even a degree and actually work both in the Armed Forces. Lots of celebs seem to have zero edumcation and dont even finish high school.
    I am anti monarchy generally but they do generally behave a lot better than loser Hollyweird celebs.

  32. jessica

    she can do so much better than him. god, she must be really bored.

  33. Grunion

    I can’t believe his gigantic cranium didn’t block out the sun

  34. Andrea

    I’m looking forward to the presidential debates. Imagine how many times McCain will look befuddled and end up saying something nonsensical or obviously wrong! He’s not that bright to begin with, plus he’s elderly, plus he’s got his poorly controlled temper. At least Bush could keep himself to the minimal possible answer, copied from whatever the other candidate had said. Republicans are so bankrupt these days! Fitting, given what they’ve done to the country.

  35. nene

    she looks very hot and has a good figure,does’t she ?But it is very strange that she seems to surf the internet frequently, and also i wonder whether she is dating on line ,because i saw her profile on site”
    Meeting “,
    i am really curious about it ,

  36. cookiepuss

    I hope she enjoys gay porn and golden showers

  37. dude

    lol fuck dat bitch i bet she likes teh cock

  38. Elmer the Fudd

    Please be kind to Jennifer. She has been through alot – OF DICK!!!

  39. havoc

    Oh, I would canoodle the hell outta Jennifer.


  40. J

    Every woman on the planet creamed her panties when “Your Body is a Wonderland” came out.

    Nuff said.

  41. J

    Every woman on the planet creamed their panties when “Your Body is a Wonderland” came out.

    Nuff said.

  42. crabby old guy

    Poonmoon – EXCELLENT posts. Nice to read someone with some insight for a change.

    Andrea – wtf? The yin to Poonmoon’s yang, I guess. Stupid sheep who follow democrats and the constant push for creating a serf state of formerly free thinking citizens deserve the slavery they will net. The answer isn’t a simple minded republican bashing/democrat mantra – it’s to THINK and DO for yourself – not turn yourself over to a ever growing gorvernment build on the backs of its citizens. Worshiping so called celebs – as much as fawning over vapid politicians – leads to increasingly mindless masses (which is EXACTLY what that that “caring” politician wants as they take more and more of your money to “help you”).

  43. lipper

    She is like trying to explain to him in a few of those pics what he did wrong in bed. “John, no that wasn’t it! No, I’m not kidding that was my belly button! Yeah you dumb fuck.”

    I’d be frustrated and bored too if I had THAT beside me.

  44. ramalamadingdong

    hey Andrea – #36 – go suck Clinton’s dick you fucking moron. (and i mean Hilary, not Bill)

    you are the epitome of everything that is wrong with this country. go buy a hybrid, bitch.

  45. yodolayheehoo

    this kind of makes me want to vomit in my mouth. and then spit it at them.

  46. restingonlaurels

    why does everyone think john mayer is ugly? take, for example, Vincent Schiavelli. he was ugly. john mayer, gorgeous. am i the only one who thinks he’s beautiful?? it just can’t be true. i agree that his value declined after dating jessica simpson, but it is my honest opinion that HE is the one that could do better than jennifer aniston.

  47. Hybrid

    Has anyone noticed that Republicans (mental perverts) mock and ridicule every possible solution and advancement that might lead us out the the stagnant, nay deteriorating condition of this present age? They are Ludites to the New Age and they will kill the Sun of it’s dawn.
    Why are we still using the same basic engine for a century when we now all know the chemical that fuels it (oil) is depleting rapidly? Why?
    They are not smart enough (and by this I do not infer the oligarchy that reigns, rather, the unlearned masses mesmerized by the trance of tough talk, and defensive posture). Inherently a new idea conflicts with an old idea and thus with the ego of the old way. But in a capitalistic society the very foundation of civilization is now controlled by Corporations who are now regarded as persons and it is in their (not ours – the flesh and blood personages) interest of survival to fight emerging novel industry. This is regressive don’t we all agree?
    We must shake off the shards of previous incarnation of technology and shape shift to a new form of machine. The old one is dying and soon will many of we.


    shouldn’t you be out saving the world and not on here posting? if you are so smart and can babble your face off, go do something about it and get off this thread asswipe. sit and spin motherfucker.

    i must shake off the shards of your bull shit, as you got some in my eye.

    MCCAIN 08

  49. O.K. now, the rest of your body looks pretty O.K.
    Although my favourite body is heavier, MUCH HAVIER!!(kim kardashian?)
    The self-confidence of BIGGER women is too much MUCH BETTER.
    It looks to me your TITS are becomming EMPTY!!


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