Jennifer Aniston in a bikini
Here’s Jennifer Aniston relaxing in a bikini yesterday in Mexico, and I know these pics are kind of blurry so just do what I do: Pretend you walked out onto your hotel balcony after taking your contacts out only to spot a sunbathing Jennifer down below. Now imagine a pelican snatching your beach towel away resulting in a roar of applause from the peasants below.
“Senor Grande Junkulo!” they cry for surely you’ve saved the harvest and ran those bandits out of town. (I’m a detailed fantasizer.)