Jennifer Aniston has hard nipples

April 11th, 2007 // 124 Comments
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Jennifer Aniston was spotted at the Creative Artist Agency with her nipples poking through her shirt. It isn’t nearly as sexy or interesting as it sounds, which is even more impressive considering it didn’t sound that sexy or interesting to begin with. She’s about as sexually appealing as an encyclopedia. And not some sexy encyclopedia either. Just the regular kind with words. Boring words.

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superficial

  1. I’m off to go rent Derailed and the entire collection of Friends. See Ya’ll!

  2. Ok Veggi, I’m with ya there. I just bought a bottle of Platinum on my lunch break, and even though I’m still at work, my job is so incredibly boring that I would be more than happy to shake us up a couple tinis. Hmmmm, where do I get some ice…..ah, 7-11, be right back!!!

  3. ffordegroupie

    pekpekshorts, and 99% of asshat posts are criticizing other “loosers” for posting their opinions, unaware that by critcizing what they consider to be losers, they are officially labelling themselves WORSE.

    Dank, with that face, he’d HAVE to be gay to want to fuck Aniston.

    HoboChic, reportedly she got implants. Not big ones, but in an attempt to be sexy, she tried to boost her chest. Except she forgot that fake tits only work if they’re either freakishly huge, or are paired with a body/face that are interesting.

    NicotineEyePatch, yeah, but it would be too easy and brief a battle — Jen looks like the sort of woman who curls up and cries if someone pulls her hair.

    RhinebeckCowboy, yeah, but having good legs doesn’t erase her giant chin, plain festures, ferret eyes, or boring tits. Seriously, she has ferret eyes — they remind me of all of Britney’s boyfriends.

  4. Jimbo

    Fuck you Shack!! Go take you meds

  5. TheRanchTooth

    With Aniston’s body and the lights out at night, a little drunk, sure, it’d be pretty hot. But then you wake up in the morning and it seems like some dude is staring at you with a fucked-up whiny expression and a witch’s chin. How exactly do you avoid screaming and pooping the bed?

  6. Mr. Superfish must be smoking the gange recently. I’d hit that like a speed bag.

  7. schack

    YOU wish i were on meds. I’m quite enjoying making fun of your antiquated and sado-masochistic taste, i.e. your morals. So you don’t let yourself love your true loves, and you condemn yourself to marriage with a bore! HARROWING. they should make a movie!

  8. schack

    but brad clearly has better taste than you. he left the whiney, matter-of-fact, guileless whore for the girl who’s at least strong enough to muster a sense of humor, lude and ultimately dependent on her beauty as it is. but her hopes are sky high compared to anniston’s

  9. Jimbo

    Now that is see which of your many personalities have shown up today. It is obvious you are not on your meds. If you want to start something let go you stupid fucking anorexic BITCH

  10. justme

    I’d like to punch the WETBACK who is taking pictures.

  11. schack

    jimbo- it’s all love, for god’s sake! you don’t get my humor at all…

  12. FRIST!!!

    Aw….Schack and Jimbo, kiss and make up!!! I’m making martinis and apparently Veggi left, so who wants hers? I know, I know, it’s not the same with no olives, but I’m at work, WTC!!!

  13. FRIST!!!

    Wow, I just realized that people who don’t know me probably think I mean World Trade Center when I say WTC!!! It means what the crap, btw. And btw means by the way, lol. And lol means laughing out loud, btw. God I’m bored.

  14. schack

    lol

  15. FRIST!!!

    WTC is that supposed to mean???

  16. lambman

    Her face always freaked me out. Next time lets hope its Courtney Cox instead…she’s pretty

  17. idahopoop

    In pictures 5 and 6 she should have just walked up to the guy and given him a good hard slap

  18. Jimbo

    FRIST how many of those martinis have you had? you are starting to slur you typing

  19. xeurohottiex

    #67 time to get a new prescription

  20. FRIST!!!

    I’m not drunk….4 mochas, plus 2 martinis, means I need two more to break even….then one more to get a buzz, then I can drive on the freeway 20 minutes to get home. Makes it a little more challenging that way. Livin on the edge, that’s me!!!

  21. Jimbo

    It is good to hear that you are still in control

  22. BarbadoSlim

    Is that all you got Rachel, nipples? Pffffft, I’ve seen better on goats. Seriously, Angie makes this dooode, look like a stool sample.

  23. FRIST!!!

    Control, what’s that?!?

  24. drew51

    I’d hit that every hour on the hour every day. She was always the hottest one on that show.

  25. I’ve banged Jen and Angie, so I don’t really care.

  26. virus

    she should get them sliced!!!

  27. Dan

    First.

  28. Jimbo

    Well I know what I would like to control :)

  29. #79

    Your homosexual tendancies?

  30. Jimbo

    No, You mother from blowing me. She can’t the few teeth she has left out of the way

  31. Manistoned

    *Yawn*

    Her entire career was based on hard nipples and fake blond hair. Everything else is ugly, useless or annoying.

  32. chaunceygardner

    I don’t understand why this was posted. If that’s how she looks just walking around on a non-workday, she’s way hotter than I’ve ever given her credit for.

  33. 1MILFhunter

    She’s not hot??!! Homos.
    I’d eat that bones and all.

  34. stereoroid

    Boring, compared to… Lohan? Reid? Hilton? Richie? OK, then give me Boring, if it means she might actually have years of happy life outside Hollyweird. Sheesh…

  35. whackjob

    A hundred years ago, what’s-her-name used to tell talk-shows and magazines about the Hershey Kisses in the shirt for the nipple shot trick. Apparently they haven’t melted. It’s a whoreywood nipple bra. Relax.

    obtw, wtc is usually uttered by TC, and means “where’s the cock?”.

    that.is.all

  36. NicotineEyePatch

    Still? She should put on a sweater. Over her face, maybe.

  37. Depraved22

    I think she’s beautiful, she has a great body. Pitt did make a major mistake.

  38. therapture

    Any guy here that claims he would not hit that is a stupid lying fucker. Go back to your 250lb dorito eating fat-bag you call a wife or girlfriend.

    I’d hit it. Gladly, right after I licked that ass and snatch for about an hour.

  39. teetee

    Brad, just screw me and get it over with.

  40. NicotineEyePatch

    Whoa, 89, slow down there.
    Just because you find Miss Half Average super hot is no reason to make fun of my wife.

  41. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    “Could your nipples BE any pointier, Rachel?”

    Sorry, had to throw in a cheesy Chandler moment. God I miss Friends:-((

  42. Navdoug

    Not sexy? I’d eat the corn out of her shit.

  43. Scubasteve

    hawt lolsupnick

  44. iamsosmrt

    I love all the hardcore Angie fans that freak the fuck out if this bitch gets attention for one second.

    Honestly both bitches bore me. But I’m not a guy and when I did date girls they were prettier than leathery man face Leno chin and a dead white vagina mouth chick with an alien forehead.

    The truth is that all the Angie lovers always wanted to believe that Jolie was a cool outcast and that Jennifer was some ditzy dumb cheerleader. But then Brangelina happened and deep down (where you keep your gayness) you all realized that Angelina is a prom queen bitch that wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire so you choose you try to blame Jen for it as the boring bitch who deserved to get left. It’s so transparent that Angelina is the idol of ugly fatty gross goth girls and computer geeks who “never had sex with a woman” and you all thought she was so nice and you dreamt that one day she would come and be with you. But all her behaviour shows that she is a vicious stuck up Hollywood Psycho bitch and now your little fantasies are ruined so you take it out on annoying ugly Jen.

    FACE FACTS! They are both stupid bitches. Angie is the kind of chick who acts all confident but she’ll rip your balls off if you look at another girl and will make you say over and over that she is the hottest girl on earth and she is Britney Spears crazy ,not hot wild crazy like in her movies, but baby collecting full hardon destroying crazy. Ladies who love Angie, she would tie you up and fuck your man right in front of you and then drink your tears and spit on your face. And it’s a good thing because it would teach you ugly fat lesbians right for being hypocrites and worshipping a girl because of how she looks, since that what a slutty cheerleader would do.

    I am so sick of this Jen vs Angie bull shit, they are both worthless and Brad needs to be dragged through the street and shot.

    get over this shit. Angie would kill you and take your children if they matched her new fall wardrobe and Jen would stalk you and harass you until you agreed to brush her hair and watch all 8 seasons of friends with her and tell her she was the pretiest.

    You are all idiots for liking either one of those shit skanks.
    Oh and her nippples want a threesome and they are trying to lead her to Brangelina.

  45. crazyotto

    umm….you you don’t know Paris Hilton do you?….ok good,good….Oh Jen you are theonly woman in my life,we come together like certs….we will make many babies…call me,otto

  46. crazyotto

    ….we’ll hit the White Castle.

  47. justifiable

    #95 I guess I missed the part where it said submissions must be in the form of an essay.

  48. iamsosmrt

    98. I like my posts LONG; Like my legs and like my husbands massive CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!

  49. benbadman

    Damn, the snarky blogger comments by the webmaster/author of this story are pretty lame–very Chandler-esque, like a bad episode of Friends.

    This week has been pretty slow as far as entertaining Superficial news items go. Here’s hoping the weekend delivers the goods!

    Are there some other good blog/gossip sites I should check out?

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