Jennifer Aniston makes me no longer hate ties and says more stuff about Angelina Jolie

December 11th, 2008 // 145 Comments

Jennifer Aniston posed nude for the latest cover of GQ and also talked some more about her private life despite publicly yelling it’s “none of your fucking business.” I guess she’s more comfortable in the buff. Who knows? (Besides Brad Pitt, John Mayer and Vince “King of the Rebounds” Vaughn):

On Angelie Jolie confirming she snagged Brad on set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith:
“”Well, you know, that was definitely a confirmation for me of something that wasn’t quite confirmed at the time. But listen… You sit there and you… No. No daggers through the heart. I laugh. Am I surprised? Well, how do I say this? Considering the source, nothing surprises me.”

On her relationship with the Pitt-Jolies:
“The funny thing is, people don’t realize we all go away to The Hamptons on the weekends. That’d be hysterical: I’ve got Zahara on my hip, and Knox …”

On John Mayer:
“Honestly, did not know much about him before I met him. I’d heard … you know, uh ‘Your Body’ – that song. But what I can say is that I had no idea what an extraordinary musician he is. And it’s just great to sit and be witness to that. It’s kind of like, Whoa!”

On playing an “aspiring cougar” in a female version of Wedding Crashers:
“It is so a comment on the sexual double standard, and what’s been ironic is how hard it’s been to get this movie made. Studios want it, but they are afraid of Middle America…. There are too many movies out there that don’t empower women, movies in which their only way of being happy is finding a man. And you know, that’s not my favorite theme.”

So, basically, Jennifer Aniston wants to kidnap Angelina Jolie’s children then bang a bunch of younger dudes. I’ll call that a wash – and not just because I’m under 30, Ms. Aniston?

Thanks to SaraDevil who’s a [insert awesome jungle cat here].

Photo: GQ
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  1. Fati

    I feel very badly for Jen. I think she is so NOT over Brad, and everything she’s been known to do after their break up is ill-advised attempts not to show how hurt she really is. I mean, going from one half-assed relationship to another, posing nude, basically pretending she is not desperate. Well, at least she was smart enough to say that yes, I’m hurting… I just hope she is not having a baby with this Mayer dude just to keep up with her ex-husband. I think she deserved better than what Brad did…

  2. Dan

    101: It’s business. She’s not being honest about anything. She’s playing off of Pitt and Jolie’s relationship, which people are interested in for whatever reason. If she acted (no pun intended) as though she were over it, she’d be out of the public imagination and being in the public imagination is her job. She’s not an actress any more than Britney Spears is a singer or Paris Hilton is a…

    Anyway, point is that she makes money by being in the public imagination.

  3. wtf

    Posed NUDE? Oh, for cripes sake. REAL women show bush. Spread ‘em!

  4. Dan

    95: I like a woman with a good grip.

  5. K

    They airbrushed her (chin)!

  6. hausfrau

    Ha. She looks like she’s doing the Bunny Hop sitting down.
    I feel sorry for her. Not because she’s doing the Bunny Hop sitting down but because she is descending down the hill of obscurity and everyone else knows it, but she doesn’t, and she is coming up with these scrappy little one-liners which she thinks makes her seem cool with the fact that she is an aging actress who finds herself alone and childless, but we all know that she is desperate desperate desperate to marry and procreate, if only to get back at Brad. We also are aware that she is still totally in love with Brad, and that she hates Angelina with the scorching power of 1000 suns (as do I), but Brad is pussywhipped and there is NOTHING she can do except live in the past and dream about the shining moment that she was Mrs. Brad Pitt and everyone loved her.
    This woman deserves our pity and condolences, not our scorn and rancor.

  7. ballbreaker

    95- you just have small, soft mousy hands. Extremely unattractive on a man. Deal breaker as far as I’m concerned.

  8. hateyoufornoreason

    “Now I wish she would just go off into obscurity and shut up.”

    You too, Lulu, you too.

  9. dragon43078

    Always had a little trouble with her face, but then I wasn’t looking at her face. Nipples rule!!

  10. Ted

    This ho has low self esteem for sure to do this for a dog picture or to get Brad attention. She is mentally ill for sure. What I can’t understand are the men she fake with. How can they stand to be with sicko here. She has to really be faking in front of these men or the men are really dumb.

  11. ummm...yeah

    OMFG! I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW STUPID PEOPLE ARE!!!!!!
    First of all, this bitch whines over how Jolie”stole” her man…
    EXCUSE ME….Anniston, was the one saying NO to children all the time…then, when Pittley went and found a beautiful peer of hers, that actually wanted kids…this bitch can’t get over it?
    I hate that dumb bitch with a passion..
    She needs to get over The Brad Pitt Obsession…NOW!
    Give it a rest..She is just looking more and more pathetic…….yeah

  12. ll

    (in reference to her comment on the Hampton and having Z sitting on her lap): i know she meant it as a joke, but to involve the kids’ and their names into this sham?- that’s below the belt.

  13. Chuck U Farley

    @7 boogermeister… so Jennifer Aniston’s big feet might be a dealbreaker for you ‘hitting it’? In what universe are you within a million miles of a deal like that?

    Crawl back under your rock, you fuckwad.

    And @ 94 Tom K: the correct comparative word is THAN, not then. “…anyone is better THAN this bigfoot toothpick looking tranny.” Just because it comes out of your mouth sounding like ‘then’ doesn’t mean it’s the right usage.

    Who taught you people English, anyway?

  14. Jennyjenjen

    @83 The name of one of the twins is Knox…

  15. Bev

    I think it’s very sad that she feels she has to go naked in order to get some attention. I don’t think being naked in front of the world is empowering, I think it shows that she’s desperate, and the only way she can get attention is by whoring herself out, not to mention the fact that her own life and career are so boring that she has to resort to talking about Brad and Angie to get people to listen to her. After all, she is promoting a family friendly film like “Marley and Me” by posing naked, it just doesn’t make sense. She feels she has to take off her clothes in order to justify her worth. I just think it’s all very, very, very sad. I also think that every character she has ever played is just “Rachel” and that her acting range is severely limited.

  16. Courtney Cox

    Holy Airbrush.

    I wish they’d quit trying to make this middle aged skank look like the 20 year old Rachel from Friends back in 1991. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that every dude she dates runs for the hills after a short time. I think she probably sucks in bed too, (not literally). She’s probably like “I’m Rachel from Friends, I’ll just lay here and you can be in awe of me” like a dead fuck.

    The guys are at first like “Wow, I’m banging Rachel from Friends”, then after a couple months, their like “Wow, this chick has issues and she sucks in bed, later biyatch”

    How long can she play off of her Rachel from Friends success, she basically plays Rachel in every movie she’s in, and she has a fake smile, she probably never smiles in real life, which is a no no…..

  17. Bev said it best

    I agree with #115, Bev: Aniston is filled with hate for Brangelina. She realizes that compared to them, she’s boring and her career is over. As Bev said, “Aniston might as well go out on the streets, flashing her bushy cunt and trolling for customers with Aja (the real) because, like Aja, she’s just a used-up washed-up old whore with an odiferous hairy twat that nobody will bother to plow unless they’re outside in the fresh air.”

    I’m not sure how many people believe Bev though, because Bev is a notorious drunkard.

    Sincerely,

    Jennyjenjen

  18. truuskie@mac.com

    Miss Anniston is a very mediocre actress who should start a dog walking service but what’s far worse is that she’s fallen in love with someone who voluntarely put his wiener inside Chicken of The Sea Jessica Simpson.

  19. Sandy C

    What has this woman ever done to garner such attention and devotion from her delusional fans? She starred on one hit TV show, a couple of decent flicks, and then married outside of her league.

    Brad probably did love her at one time when she seemed to want all the things that he wanted. They seemed so carefree and cute together until the wedding. Then she became too career-focused and didn’t want kids. He finally realized she was a superficial, dishonest bitch who was riding his coattails to gain more fame. She didn’t want to settle down and be Mrs. Brad Pitt when she could be Jennifer Aniston, movie star.
    So, then he’s on the set of “Mr. & Mrs. Smith” and meets this amazingly beautiful, talented, kick-ass single mom who has done more for the world than just act and be a celebrity.
    No, this lady has compassion and strength like he’d never seen. He respected her as a friend and then fell in love with her, knowing that Jen would be hurt but realizing that life is way too short to waste it with someone who didn’t have the same goals in life as he did. In Angelina, he found his soulmate.
    He told Jen of his feelings for his co-star, they separated and then he was free to pursue a happy relationship with Angelina. And Angelina has brought out the best in him. He’s more joyful and more satisfied than he has ever been in his life (his words). And that’s where we are today folks.
    People really need to get over the whole triangle obsession. It’s been 5 years . Angelina & Brad have a family and are happy. They are in love and enjoying their life together. It’s time to move on now.
    Why begrudge someone for wanting to be TRULY happy in their lives? Don’t we all deserve the chance to find our soulmate?

    And doesn’t Jen say that she’s happy now? She gets to be an “empowering” role model for aging desperate women. Posing semi-nude and chasing younger men… yeah, good role model there. I wonder if she is planning on having kids with John Mayer out of jealousy for Brad & Angelina or because she realizes that the career that she put in front of her marriage hasn’t exactly panned out?

    Now, she’s reduced herself to a bitter, bed-hopping, attention-seeking cougar. Jen could take lessons from Angelina on how to KEEP a man and on how to act!

  20. shawn

    should’ve been called “Jennifer Aniston shows us how far digital editing has come”.

  21. Andrea

    At leasst she didn’t do a Jolie and have a horse suck her tits.

  22. Sandy C

    Andrea @ 6:29PM

    You’re disgusting and an idiot.

  23. loved`

    wtf does be naked have to do w/ animalz…. slutz these dayz want to gt nake 4 the dummes thingz WOW!!!oh by the way she ugly… they all r! and it sad that the momz lovez w/ her gurl{ slutz} gt nake she money hungry!!!

  24. loved`

    wtf does be naked have to do w/ animalz…. slutz these dayz want to gt nake 4 the dummes thingz WOW!!!oh by the way she ugly… they all r! and it sad that the momz lovez w/ her gurl{ slutz} gt nake she money hungry!!!

  25. Andrea

    Sandty, I am not the one who took the pics. Google it, dumbass. They are out there.

  26. Andrea

    Sandy, I am not the one who took the pics. Google it, dumbass. They are out there.

  27. Andrea

    Sandy – saved you the trouble. Personally, I don’t think there is a need to get nude at all.

    I don’t like either of these pics. It’s all a yelp for attention.

    http://www.mopo.ca/2008/02/angelina-jolies-horse.html

  28. Andrea

    Sandy – saved you the trouble. Personally, I don’t think there is a need to get nude at all.

    I don’t like either of these pics. It’s all a yelp for attention.

    http://www.mopo.ca/2008/02/angelina-jolies-horse.html

  29. Tee

    Only plain or ugly women and closet gays think Aniston is hot.

    No matter how many times she gets her nose done, she still looks like Zera from “The Planet of the Apes”.

  30. Andrea

    Well, I am neither palin, ugly, fat, barren and certainly not closet gay…I think Jen is good looking. I just don’t know about the nude thing. I mean great, you have a great bod at 40…nothing that some clothes couldn’t have told us either.

  31. Sandy C

    I looked at the pic. That horse is NOT sucking her tits. What a filthy, disgusting mind you have… pervert.
    Truly, you need help if you are thinking that way.
    Seriously.

  32. Fati

    Sandy, you are so cheesy I might throw up on you. Yeah, we got that you’d fuck Jolie. I can’t believe anyone is stupid enough to think that Aniston is fake BUT Jolie is NOT. You fucking idiots make me sick.

  33. Fati

    yeah, Pitt is especially looking happy these days! he is realising that Jolie has way more issues than he thought he could handle, and that she is not gonna stop having children until her womb can’t take it any more. yeah, he wanted children but not 7 of them in a couple of years. i don’t think this thing is going to work out, and Jolie is an absolute idiot for having so many children. she thinks she can hang on to him that way but that’s exactly what’s going to drive him insane and make him HATE her. just give it time, dude. he’s just a man.

  34. hello , thank you for this photos i’ m a french fan of jennifer

  35. Regular

    Yeah, lady, we got it the first 30 times. Your body is tighter than a 13 year old boy’s and your pepaw ex-husband is married to a 73 year old cat lady with a neck hump and 14 refegees from the UN’s last fuck up a nation program. Now put on some fucking clothes and make a movie that doesn’t suck.

  36. Fati

    Lulu #85 – haaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhahahaha, you are such a stupid pathetic bitch! :) ” I can’t believe she had the nerve to call Maddox Knox!” haaaaaaaaaaaahahhahaha! go get your sodding facts straight, ya idiot, and then come and “drop this bitch’s ass”. haaaahahahhaa, i’m just so amused by your hilarious stupidity.

  37. MimiArdua

    Have she Done anything succefull since “Friends” to keep talking about Jolie-Pitt on and on and on and over and over and over and over ? She´s booooooring!!! NEXT

  38. FutureAxeMurderer

    #29
    News Flash. They’re all Bi-Polar.
    They’re all whores, and they’re all Bi-Polar.
    End of fucking story.

  39. coco

    HEY, IDIOTS. BRAD IS THE ONE MAKE DICIDED TO LEAVE CHINNIFER MANLESSTON. WHY DON’T YOU GUYS AND YOUR CHINNIFER BITE,BEAT HIM? WHY HIT ONLY ANGIE? SO JEALOUS? SO HATEFUL? SHUT YOUR MOUTH UP. MOVE ON SERIOUS MENTAL SICKNESS PEOPLE..

  40. MARRIE

    This bitch is going down to the hill, Who tried to fixed everything from head to toes then pose nude for the cheap magazines.Maybe she will pose for Playboy too. Stuppid bitch try to destroy her career by pose nude.and show off body boobs, butt etc..everywhere she can. No more good girl. No more classy girl. Now she is a playmate of the year. . She lost her control. Date a young guys like her younger brothers . and become one of cougars group with her best friends are Courteney Cox, Demi Moore.seduced young boy toys. The bitter bitch and her jealous fan can’t move on. . All of them got mental distord. Need a special treatment.

  41. MARRIE

    This bitch is going down to the hill, Who tried to fixed everything from head to toes then pose nude for the cheap magazines.Maybe she will pose for Playboy too. Stuppid bitch try to destroy her career by pose nude.and show off body boobs, butt etc..everywhere she can. No more good girl. No more classy girl. Now she is a playmate of the year. . She lost her control. Date a young guys like her younger brothers . and become one of cougars group with her best friends are Courteney Cox, Demi Moore.seduced young boy toys. The bitter bitch and her jealous fan can’t move on. . All of them got mental distord. Need a special treatment.

  42. bingo gorbov

    I feel sorry for Aniston. She is trying way to hard to show people that she is not desperate, bitter, lonely and untalented, which only confirms that she is actually desperate to get married, bitter that she lost Pitt because she didn’t want kids, lonely because she sacrificed her marriage for what she thought was a fabulous movie career, and untalented because she is a one dimensional actress with no depth. Aniston, you are out of your league in trying to compare yourself to Jolie, so don’t bother.

  43. StrawDust

    You guys are friggin crazy! She looks amazing! And what the hell are you talking about with her chin? She has a heart-shaped face. And even if there is some “photo-shopping” going on in this photo, we all still know she has a hot body (paparazzi photos, she always has a cute little hot body). I don’t think she looks trashy at all in this photo. She looks playful & cute! I didn’t read the article, so I have no clue what she said about Brad/Angie, I’m just saying that she is adorable in this photo. And as for Angie, a bunch of people at work were saying the other day how haggard & old Angie is looking. She’s anorexic looking. Her legs! Gross! And have you looked at Angie’s hands/wrists? Sick! I’m not an Angelina-hater or on TEAM anybody. I’m simply going by what LOOKS GOOD & what doesn’t. So what, Angie has huge lips & a good face… but that woman is not aging well & has been looking like a “rode-hard” biker lady to so many people. I’d love to see what YOU look like posing like this (or your chick). Open your eyes people & accept the FACT that Jen looks adorable in this photo. I said FACT, not OPINION. Your opinion is wrong if you disagree! Oh & by the way, her feet are not huge… she’s a petite lady with normal sized feet. Look at a photo of her on the red-carpet or somewhere that the camera angle is normal. She actually has cute feet. Angie on the other hand…

  44. JEN

    AFTER JENIFER ANISTON BEEN THROUGH A STRING OF COSMETIC SURGERIES. SHE START TO POSE . MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN TRIED TO BE BEAUTIFUL AND LOOK YOUNGER. BUT FAKE IS STILL FAKE. PLASTIC IS STILL PLASTIC. MOVE ON, JEN

  45. VINCE

    JEN ANISTON TURNED 40 ALSO BECOME A PLASTIC WOMEN. FIXED FROM HEAD TO TOES.

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