Jennifer Aniston makes me no longer hate ties and says more stuff about Angelina Jolie

December 11th, 2008 // 145 Comments

Jennifer Aniston posed nude for the latest cover of GQ and also talked some more about her private life despite publicly yelling it’s “none of your fucking business.” I guess she’s more comfortable in the buff. Who knows? (Besides Brad Pitt, John Mayer and Vince “King of the Rebounds” Vaughn):

On Angelie Jolie confirming she snagged Brad on set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith:
“”Well, you know, that was definitely a confirmation for me of something that wasn’t quite confirmed at the time. But listen… You sit there and you… No. No daggers through the heart. I laugh. Am I surprised? Well, how do I say this? Considering the source, nothing surprises me.”

On her relationship with the Pitt-Jolies:
“The funny thing is, people don’t realize we all go away to The Hamptons on the weekends. That’d be hysterical: I’ve got Zahara on my hip, and Knox …”

On John Mayer:
“Honestly, did not know much about him before I met him. I’d heard … you know, uh ‘Your Body’ – that song. But what I can say is that I had no idea what an extraordinary musician he is. And it’s just great to sit and be witness to that. It’s kind of like, Whoa!”

On playing an “aspiring cougar” in a female version of Wedding Crashers:
“It is so a comment on the sexual double standard, and what’s been ironic is how hard it’s been to get this movie made. Studios want it, but they are afraid of Middle America…. There are too many movies out there that don’t empower women, movies in which their only way of being happy is finding a man. And you know, that’s not my favorite theme.”

So, basically, Jennifer Aniston wants to kidnap Angelina Jolie’s children then bang a bunch of younger dudes. I’ll call that a wash – and not just because I’m under 30, Ms. Aniston?

Thanks to SaraDevil who’s a [insert awesome jungle cat here].

Photo: GQ
superficial

  1. ya moma

    FUCKIN’ DISGUSTING!

  2. missywissy

    Angelina deserves what she gets. However, I don’t think Jen has good delivery. She sounds like an 8th grader.

    It seems like she’s desperate to be posing nude, going out with John Mayer, and talking so much about brad/angelina. But I’m interested to see what she has to say about the whole husband-stealing thing. However, to me this gal is about on the same level as that Heidi whoever that fake girl is this site is always posting on.

  3. oJAEflo

    Say what you will, that cover’s secured a GQ subscription renewal from me!

  4. Mr. Jones

    If you’re going to sell how incredibly “hot” someone is, then print a fucking picture that hasn’t been processed though 100 digital artists in Industrial Light and Magic.

    Jar-Jar Binks was digitially processed, too. No one is telling me that he is “hot”.

  5. ?

    … Her head looks like it’s photoshopped on.

  6. Leila

    She’s smiling, the magazine says she’s getting hotter and she’s promoting a new film yet putting it all together it screams “Sad”.

    #19 = Best comment I’ve ever read.

  7. Tetnus

    I wish the media would stop asking Jen questions about Brad and Angie. Then people could stop assuming Jen isn’t over it. I can imagine it must be hard to get over being betrayed and then having that evil worm (Angie) rub it in your face. I’d love to see Angie do a pose like this but she knows she can’t pull it off. Nobody likes to look at saggy, pale skin stretched over bones. Jen, as usual, you look great.

  8. Hey Photoshop Police:
    I am surprised that you didn’t mention the completely played out back-lighting that photographers seem to be abusing lately in an attempt to slim down their subject. It’s over-rated and insulting to those with clear vision.
    That being said, considering they used an overly bright back light, her less contrasty and darker face makes visual sense. There is less light hitting her there and lighting up her face too much in post production would have made the image even more fake in appearance than it already is.
    Just sayin’.

  9. Oh for Jebus sakes get on with your life

    It is beyond distasteful to drag the kids into your own pathetic and snarky interview. You are so self centered you don’t care who or what you’re flinging mud on. Get a life and stop taking your clothes off if you want any respect.

  10. jeezy mc jeeze

    her old ass is lucky they invented photoshop and airbrushing

  11. booya

    She looks great. Her comments really detract from her beauty. She sounds very stupid.

  12. Shep

    Somewhere John Mayer has read this and is celebrating by fucking a random whore. After Jennifer spazzing at him for an explanation he replies “But Hunny I empowered myself to stick my penis in her…….. I thought it was ok…….”

    Btw, Anniston looks 100 times better then skeletor’s sister Jolie.

  13. random observer

    The Holie-Shitts are gonna be pissed

  14. Photoshop Police

    @58 Something Tasty:
    The problem with the face being too dark is that it takes the entire photo out of balance. It’s not entirely what is wrong with the face, and I agree that often one can mess up a photo by doing too much. The face is the focal point and typically is the first thing people look at. It should be getting the most attention from the photographer AND the retoucher, but not necessarily getting the most done to it.

    I could rant for days on all the crap that bad photogs/retouchers do, but I thought I’d keep it focused on a few things.

    …and thanks for having an intelligent post.

  15. lambman

    Wow, I usually don’t care about celebd ‘personalities’ cause they are all pr bullshit but this woman is so fucking annoying. One week ‘what angie did was uncool’ the next she complains it was out of context and she wants privacy, now she is talking about brad and angie again….what the fuck? If you want privacy say Lno comment’ and say it consistently and the stories will stop.

    They can’t make Angie into the bad guy unless Maniston keeps crying about it (which she will)

  16. No need for name

    You are all so OBLIVIOUS!!! She looks like CRAP!!! I can not disclosure much about this, but I was there for the CQ shoot and she does not have the body most of you think. She has the look of a woman who has been handled by MANY men. It was actually kind of gross! I am telling you, air brushing does wonders!!! I just saw Angie the other day and to be honest she has a much better body (even after having 3 kids) then Jen does… ONCE AGAIN!!! Angie did not destroy that marriage, that marriage was already OVER before Brad even signed up for Mr. and Mrs. Smith, and even after he signed the contract, his original co-star was Nichole Kidman not Angelina Jolie. GET YOUR STORY STRAIGHT PEOPLE!!! Angie had nothing to do with that split and your girl Jen is not the victim most of you think. I hope the truth comes out one day, I am patiently waiting for that day, and then all of you will finally SHUT UP!!!

  17. I Would Fuck The Living Shit Out Of Jennifer Aniston

    .

    It that doesn’t make you pop wood, you’re a fucking homo.

  18. No need for name

    I would totally go lesbian with Angelina Jolie… Jen? NO THANK YOU!!! She has a sloppy body, and like I said before AIR BRUSHING does WONDERS!!! To be honest, if most of you would have been at the shoot, right now all of you would rather be F…ing Madonna than Jen.

  19. Roy

    Still looks like Sean Penn in drag. Hey, my wife’s way hotter than that!!!

  20. Photoshop Police

    @ 66:
    I don’t believe you when you say you were at the shoot.
    Only ignorant people still call it “air-brushing”,
    Unretouched recent photos of Jen by the paparazzi prove she is in good shape.
    and yes, photo retouching can do wonders for celebrities.
    I wouldn’t be surprised if someone took advantage of the “liquify” tool in photoshop, especially considering the rumors of her baby bump (BULLSEYE, John Mayer!).

  21. Bill Clinton

    @66

    I believe I speak for many here when I sincerely say this:

    Shut the fuck up, moron.

  22. Rark Buffalo

    A movie about old women sleeping around like a bunch of skanks and sluts. Yep, that’s empowering women. Maybe Middle America is just sick of a washed up attention whore

  23. Photoshop Police:

    I completely agree that the face should be the the focal point and that it is a bit too dark. But, the operative word here is “should”. Considering it is GQ, I doubt they thought men would be looking at her face. Her body is what will sell the magazine, not her hard-to-ignore chin or her bright eyes. So, for this one particular situation, I give allowances for her face being darker than her waist and thighs. Had this been Glamour or Cosmo, I am confident her face would have been much brighter than the curve of her breasts.

    I would love to go on for days with you about the abuse of Photoshop. Don’t know why they didn’t call us for our opinions before going to print?

  24. bop

    Oh yes — she wants to “empower women” WHILE she goes on the cover of a magazine naked trying as hard as she can to be a sexual OBJECT rather than a person. fail, jennifer, fail….

    cheap stupid and degrading

  25. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  26. @66

    Sorry, I cannot believe you were at the GQ photo shoot. My reasons are as such:

    1. It is not CQ, as you typed it. It is GQ. Anyone present would have known this and properly typed the two letters to at least render some validity to their statements.

    2. It is disclose, not disclosure (in the way you attempted to use the word). If you wanted people to believe you, the least you could do is use a keyboard correctly and attempt to use proper grammar.

  27. No need for name

    #19

    YOU NAILED IT!!! LOVE your comment!!!

    #70 and #71

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! MORONS!!!

  28. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  29. No need for name

    #76

    OH NO! YOU GOT ME!!!

    I am running out the door and on my way to sign up for some English courses, would you like to help me use a keyboard properly? Thanks!!! :)

  30. pattyanne

    Amazing! jennifer aniston continues to be amazing. love her wit and humor, especially the tongue-in-cheek comments about zahara and knox…..In a way, i believe it was a good thing that angelia “let the cat out of the bag” about the lie Jen’s ex told her about being faithful while married. “not all kids get to see the movie where their parents fell in love”…yep. i think that gave Jen closure, however , i don’t think that was Jolie’s goal with that statement. Passive/Agressive = Jolie. Good thing Jennifer is so much more intelligent than street wise Jolie. Karma also seems to be kicking in…..have you seen the latest photos of these two greasy, unkempt, aged seniors? A.J & BP…ewwww

  31. @79

    I aim to help others. Glad I reached you in time.

    Don’t forget to ask your professor to focus on the proper usage of periods in a declarative sentence.

  32. effyeray

    Any dude who says she’s hot or that she’s not a fug old skank had better be over 40. Cuz if you’re under 40 and think she’s fine, you gots da mommy issues. Cuz that bitch is a fug old hateable whore.

  33. Lulu

    Jen is a bitch! I can’t believe she even mentioned the children, and then had the nerve to call Maddox Knox!!! If I was Angie I would drop that bitch’s ass. Btw, I’m sure most people don’t care that Brad and Angie screwed each others’ brains out on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I agree with all the people that are saying that if she is going to waste more time being bitter about Angie screwing Brad, then she should be mad at Brad too!

    Yeah, her face does not look good in that photo.

    Just to think that I really liked her when I first saw her in Friends. Now I wish she would just go off into obscurity and shut up.

  34. effyeray

    #80 pattyanne-
    Nice try Fugiston. We know it’s you and we hate you. Bitter washed up bitches need to move the fuck on. If you were still hot, relevant or appealing in any single way this would be a non-issue. You should be so embarrassed that you kill yourself. I mean yeah, the dudes a pimp, but get the fuck on with your life. He ain’t comin back. Ever. Take a long look at your old horseface and honestly tell me you’d fuck you if you were Brad Pitt. Hahaha didn’t think so bitch.

  35. This is all part of Aniston’s bizarro scheme! Check it out:

    http://starcasm.net/archives/2024

    Hmmmm…it seems obvious from the cover photo that a marriage to Jon Mayer isn’t imminent because Jennifer’s still unable to tie the knot.

  36. Lily

    #83

    I agree with you 100%

    What can you expect from a bitter bitch like her? She is a nobody!!!

  37. Lily

    #83

    I agree with you 100%

    What can you expect from a bitter bitch like her? She is a nobody!!!

  38. CJ

    Honestly…what’s not to like about her…even posing nude she exudes class. Can this be viral, by any chance?

  39. Halak

    Still ugly as hell. Still whining about Angelina. Still desperate
    and completely without class.

    Go Away Aniston!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  40. Raven88

    Getting hotter?
    Are ya kidding?

    Maybe in airbrushed mag pics. Just saw her in 30 Rock and couldn’t believe how ugly and masculine she was and how her arms were so flappy every time she moved.

  41. eastcoastgirl

    I think she looks amazing here. Body, face, hair she has the whole package. I believe she has the right to have her say after A.J. opened her fat mouth and told the world that Brad cheated with her on a movie set. Think about it . He was her husband. He took vows with her. Yes, it would have to sting no matter how many years have gone by. A.J. just seems to want to rub J.A.’s nose in it. She is such a dirty, skanky, bitch. I cant’t wait until she stabs Brad in the back with one of her future costars.

  42. face control

    she has an unintelligent face

  43. my comment

    Jolie in that same pose naked would be so horrifying you would turn to salt if you looked directly at it.

  44. Tom K

    She is so ugly! Now wonder Brad left her, anyone is better then this big foot toothpick looking tranny.

  45. Yeesh

    I just noticed that her hands are like Bigfoot’s feet. Patrick Ewing would be jealous of those ball-encompassing mitts. Seriously, I’m a male, and her pinky is bigger than my index finger. Freakish.

  46. Dorito Man

    I think she’s hawt. I’d go to her party. And stuff. ;)

  47. She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

  48. Jackson'shole

    Butter face, now and always.
    Seriously does anyone care about the “triangle” any more who is not a complete loser?? So Brad fell in love with someone else while he was married. It’s been happening all over the world for thousands of years and will happen for thousands more. It really isn’t that big of a deal.
    Jennifer, PLEASE go away.

  49. Ron

    She looks damn hot to me.

    As far as photoshopping….every pic you’ve seen of any celebrity on these sights has been photoshopped.

    Oh, I don’t know if I mentioned this, but she looks damn hot to me.

    Also, her hands are in the way!

  50. Susan

    Angelina Jolie is a total skanky bitch. She looks like a skeleton, she is absolutely disgusting. Brad Pitt is a lowlife but frankly I’m not surprised he’s with her. He went out with Juliette Lewis for gods sake. She is a disgusting freak too. Jennifer is better off without him. Its only natural for her to be sarcastic about the whole thing…she kept it bottled up too long. And for all of you saying how ugly Jennifer is, give me a break. I don’t think the people at GQ would agree with you.

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