Jennifer Aniston makes me no longer hate ties and says more stuff about Angelina Jolie

December 11th, 2008 // 146 Comments

Jennifer Aniston posed nude for the latest cover of GQ and also talked some more about her private life despite publicly yelling it’s “none of your fucking business.” I guess she’s more comfortable in the buff. Who knows? (Besides Brad Pitt, John Mayer and Vince “King of the Rebounds” Vaughn):

On Angelie Jolie confirming she snagged Brad on set of Mr. & Mrs. Smith:
“”Well, you know, that was definitely a confirmation for me of something that wasn’t quite confirmed at the time. But listen… You sit there and you… No. No daggers through the heart. I laugh. Am I surprised? Well, how do I say this? Considering the source, nothing surprises me.”

On her relationship with the Pitt-Jolies:
“The funny thing is, people don’t realize we all go away to The Hamptons on the weekends. That’d be hysterical: I’ve got Zahara on my hip, and Knox …”

On John Mayer:
“Honestly, did not know much about him before I met him. I’d heard … you know, uh ‘Your Body’ – that song. But what I can say is that I had no idea what an extraordinary musician he is. And it’s just great to sit and be witness to that. It’s kind of like, Whoa!”

On playing an “aspiring cougar” in a female version of Wedding Crashers:
“It is so a comment on the sexual double standard, and what’s been ironic is how hard it’s been to get this movie made. Studios want it, but they are afraid of Middle America…. There are too many movies out there that don’t empower women, movies in which their only way of being happy is finding a man. And you know, that’s not my favorite theme.”

So, basically, Jennifer Aniston wants to kidnap Angelina Jolie’s children then bang a bunch of younger dudes. I’ll call that a wash – and not just because I’m under 30, Ms. Aniston?

Thanks to SaraDevil who’s a [insert awesome jungle cat here].

Photo: GQ

  1. Ram Punchington

    Holy Crap.
    A “celebrity” WITHOUT a belly button piercing?

    Nice tie, though.

  2. I wish she would tie me up with that tie and then put her boobs in my face

  3. Brad

    Now THAT is a hot tranny!!!

  4. Tim Burton

    I want royalties. Lower half of her face: first Batman movie, Jack Nicholson, line is “Does it look like I’m joking?”

  5. victoriaapplesauce

    Oh, yes. Talking about empowering women while posing naked on the magazine’s cover. Good one.

  6. Sid

    Neck down – “WOW!”

    Neck up – “WOW, Owen Wilson finally got his nose fixed!”

  7. boogermeister

    I’d hit it . . . definitely. But her feet look really big with that camera angle and that could ultimately be a deal breaker for me.

  8. Ryan

    It’s kind of like, Whoa!”

    Deep. But god… so hot.

  9. One freaking hit show,,,now im paying for the rest of my existence…

  10. Nugaloopagus



  11. Erica

    Yes, Jennifer, fascinating stuff, as always. Never gets old.

    Say, you wanna go for a walk in west L.A. sometime?

  12. jen

    It’s like they put Jay Leno’s face on a hot woman’s body.

  13. john

    Jay Leno’s face with mid-sized tits and a (loose, maybe) pussy?

  14. Mike

    Mmmmmmm….I’d eat that up.

    Who cares what she has to say.

  15. Uncle Eccoli

    I hate her.

  16. Lori

    She needs to stop talking and shut up. I thought she handle this situation years ago with class until now. This news is not a surprise to her. She knows deep down inside what happened. Talking bad about Angie now is a little too late. If she was going to talk badly about her it should of been when it happened, not now. It’s over, six kids later. Also, why to her is Brad a great guy and she is proud of him. He is the one that wasn’t honest. Please Jen find peace. If you forgave Brad you surely can forgive her. Also, Brad had mentioned in an article just recently that his favorite movie with Angie was the Mr and Mrs Smith movie because that’s where he fell in love. If your going to talk badly about her, talk badly about him too.

  17. Lori

    Classy lady !!!

  18. havoc

    So fine….


  19. Dr. Phil

    I truly appreciate transsexuals who achieve a very feminine body, like Jen (Jim) here. It’s impossible to restructure the face, so it’ll always be a man’s face in partial disguise. The boxer’s chin is often a dead giveaway. I wonder if s/he decided to keep the twig & berries, or lop them off? Lots of transsexuals skip that last step these days, preferring to stay intact. Although, with all the hormone treatments, it becomes very difficult or impossible to ejaculate. I bet s/he can only do it when s/he’s angry – so, always. I don’t imagine John Mayer would mind that at all.

  20. K lee

    No, GQ, it IS just you.

  21. Michelle

    I have no idea why she would doing these kind of posses at this stage in her life and career. That said she is the same age as me and if she wants to swap bodies with me that would be just fine…..

  22. She’s a good candidate for the donkey punch.

  23. john 2

    butt-naked posing as a dog holding its paws up, promoting a dog-movie and “joking” about holding brad pitt’s newborn son. merry christmas.

  24. Airbrushing Bitch

    I’ll bet they could paint you to look hot too. Hire an airbrush specialist.

  25. Ted from Madison

    I am always amazed at how they cross her legs just right in photos like this so that you can’t even see a hair on her nutsack.

  26. Antaeus

    I’m beginning to think this woman is a master manipulator to put Angelina to shame. She is passive-aggressively ruthless. Within two days she’s gone from posing with golden retriever pups, to these questionable photos, but she makes it seem so natural and wholesome.

  27. Mcfeely Smackup

    “Jennifer Aniston posed nude for the latest cover of GQ and also talked some more about her private life”

    Yet AGAIN i’m placed in the position of having to point out that if someone’s naughty bits are not exposed for view, they are NOT nude. Or at least are so only in the most useless definition of the term.

    You might say ‘well, she doesn’t have clothes on, you just can’t quite see the good stuff’…well, news flash, we’re ALL in that same situation all day long. Our good stuff just happens to be covered by clothes, not strategic leg or arm positions.

  28. Frida

    Jennifer Aniston GQ Photos and GQ video!
    must see!

  29. Deacon Jones

    This bitch has bipolar disorder written all over her.

    Why is she into women empowerment when she always needs a guy by her side?

  30. Nikky Raney

    I think that she looks amazing.
    I was always on team Jen!

  31. Cash

    Wow… another “nude” celebrity showing no actual nudity. Whooptie crap.

    Give it up Aniston, seriously… go gently into that good night already.

  32. I wonder if she’ll let me jam her in the pooper.

    I smoke rocks.

  33. I wonder if she’ll let me jam her in the pooper.

    I smoke rocks.

  34. Dammm

    when is this mag comin out i want it she looks hotttt

  35. Jrz

    Know what will really suck for her……but probably be great for men and dykes everywhere? When Angelina and Brad win simultaneous Oscars Jen here will do like money shots or some shit for Vivid.

  36. Right Fury

    I’m not too surprised that brad bounced. She is most likely very undateable considering how many guys she’s been through since. Those dudes couldn’t handle her baggage either. Maybe she is absolute crap in bed.

  37. Turd Ferguson

    So. Here’s a whatta I’d do to her.

    First: I’d slather her all over with soft, room-temperature Crisco.

    Second: I’d tie her down on a cold, concrete floor with her legs spread wide open.

    Third: I’d dance all around her in a gimp suit while “The Hokey Pokey” plays on the turntable.

    Finally: I’d squeeze out a tiny little turd on her left knee and turn off the lights and leave the room.

    Think about that!

  38. Photoshop Police

    Note from a smartass photo-retoucher:

    As I’m sure Daisy will attest (ha!), the photo has definitely been retouched. I don’t really care about that so much. It’s the nature of publishing. All photos are retouched for magazines.

    What bothers me is the bad job they did on retouching her.

    I’m not saying you should completely modify the original intent of the photo, but people are often shot at unflattering angles or in less than ideal studio conditions and as a photo-retoucher, I know that you want to put your subject in the best possible light, literally and figuratively.

    That said, I would like to express how much of a poor job the retoucher did on Jennifer’s face for the cover of a magazine. For one thing, compared to the rest of her body, the face is darker and less contrasty. We retouchers often have to adjust for that in photos of models, as they are often shot with inadequate lighting and often wear makeup which alters the reflectivity compared to the rest of the body. Also, it looks like someone attempted (poorly) to reduce or eliminate the bags under her eyes. Ideally, you would want to do that, unless it affects the look of the celebrity/model to the point of being less recognizable. In that case, you would tone down the lines, but not eliminate them entirely. This is the same basic concept as celebrities who use botox to try to look younger, and then fail miserably when their facial expressions disappear and they turn into robots (CELEBRITIES – STOP USING BOTOX! Drink more water and get a good night’s sleep once in a while!). If I were to make any minor adjustments other than that, it would have been a chin-lift. The “Jay Leno” comment might have been a bit harsh, but it isn’t entirely off base. Sometimes you need to alter reality a bit when the model isn’t at the best angle in the shot.

    Thanks to all who bothered to read the entire rant.
    I realize that many who post here are jerkbags who would rather trash other posters (sorry, non-jerkbags) than post something of substance, and appreciate those with more IQ points than a bowl of jello.

    Happy Thursday, Bitchez!

  39. Pathetic Worm

    Physically and mentally, she’s not quite right.

    Almost right physically, fucking miles off mentally.

  40. Aja ( the real )

    So smoking hot. I must say, she is looking better than haggard Angelina. Without kids, her body will remain nice for a much longer time. She is also, what like 5 years older than Angelina? Jennifer looks younger. Eat your heart out Brad.

  41. Trudy

    Cute feet!!!

  42. Kam

    Aw Come on Jen…you didn’t need to do this! You always represented the good girl image and this drags you down to another level like so many other women that have low self esteem and low self respect.

  43. Ted from Louisville

    Why is she wearing skis?

  44. Bob

    Yeah, this is definitely someone with baggage. And I hate that for her because she is hot, but probably not worth it, given the number of men she has gone thru recently…

  45. britney's weave

    oh dear, such a butterface in this pic.

  46. Unfortunate

    I’m with the person who posted earlier about her being classy until all this now. It must be true she must be lugging tons of baggage and unstable completely to be lashing out at Jolie 5 years later. Was it the first year after it happened people would be like well what do you expect, but now it just seems like she is letting out shit thats been botttled up for 5 years and seems like a serious lunatic.

  47. Kia

    I liked Jennifer Anniston a lot better when she never talked about her personal life. Lately she’s making herself sound like a complete moron. Instead of feeling bad for Jennifer, you feel bad for Brad…

  48. bete noir

    Geez Jennifer! Have some dignity and move the fuck on!

    They have 3 kids of their own together + the adopted kids.

    They’ve moved on. Why can’t you?

  49. AJ

    When a celebrity is on top then they do not need to pose nude but when one gets desperate then it is pose nude time. Poor desperate lonely celebrity.

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